Not so very long ago, those concerned about crime or fearing for their safety had limited options. Many such people chose to purchase a handgun, unfortunately resulting in occasional accidental deaths when children got hold of it or someone was mistakenly identified as an intruder (resulting in yet another occupational liability for pizza delivery drivers!)

After that came a plethora of non-lethal weapons including stun guns, pepper spray, and Tasers. Among the foregoing, Tasers are widely thought to be the most effective. The overall effectiveness of a stun gun has been measured at 86% (and pepper spray’s performance is even more dismal), but the Taser’s effectiveness has been measured at a constant 100% as long as your attacker isn’t an android. Believe it or not, Tasers are available to the public, although the most advanced versions are available only to police and other law enforcement personnel.

In contrast with stun guns, when using a Taser you don’t need to be close enough to an attacker to touch him Tasers are effective from as far as fifteen feet (law enforcement grade Tasers are effective from up to thirty-five feet away). Even better, Tasers are safe they don’t cause death or permanent injury except in the case of freak accidents (someone falls and hits his head on concrete, for example). This feature is vitally important in case you mistakenly Taser someone by mistake.

How does a Taser work? It uses compressed nitrogen to fire two fishhook probes into the attacker’s body. An electrical pulse shoots through the Taser probe wires and into the attacker’s body. This causes immediate loss of neuromuscular control for the entire duration of the impulse. Even if your aim is terrible, you only need to hit your attacker anywhere on his body or clothing, and you’ll end up Taser-ing the poor attacker into a quivering pile of flesh. Training is required to use it properly, but it is minimal and any reasonably intelligent person can master it.

All in all, Tasers are considerably safer and more accurate than handguns and are easier to use. They’re also cheaper. If you live in a big metropolis, have enemies, or have an obnoxious personality, you should definitely give some consideration to purchasing a Taser.

Personal Development and Happiness: Releasing Anger

In personal development, one of the main goals is to achieve happiness. What often stands in the way are “negative” emotions that linger on. Most people have some of these emotions, either repressed or lasting with no outlet. Some are low level, some are strong.

Recognising that you have this sadness or anger bottled up inside you, or dealing with lower level emotions are articles that can be found on the Urban Monk website. I am focusing on letting out anger on this article because I feel it is one of the worst. It is crippling; it colours everything you do in your life and is often linked with depression.

Anger is crippling

I used to suffer from massively pent-up emotions; while I was often described as a teddy bear guy, I had massively pent-up anger and to a lesser extent, sadness. When I blew up, I blew up. I became verbally abusive and irrational often this would only be shown to, and therefore unintentionally hurt, the people who love me the most and are the closest to me. This led to a deep depression that lasted for more then a year and badly deteriorating physical health.

So trust me; be honest with yourself, and find out if you have anger issues. If you do, take steps to fix it for yourself and those who love you.

Besides being a major step towards happiness, there are other benefits to dropping all that emotional weight from your shoulders. Self-esteem, confidence, and courage are other parts that develop as you deal with anger.

Understanding Anger and Sadness

The first step to dealing with it is to understand anger. Anger is not “negative”. It is simply an energy; an emotion. It serves as a protection system. When you get angry, it is a sign that something or someone is infringing on you or your rights.

It is not to be confused with blind rage; blind rage is when you start being abusive; when you start being violent towards inanimate objects, or worse, other people. That is not healthy.

I heard a great analogy once; emotions are like vegetables. When they are fresh, they are fine, when you hold it in for a long time, that’s when they become toxic. They explode to the surface and manifest themselves in unhealthy ways. It could also lead to cancer, stress, and several other nasty conditions.

How to deal with Anger

There are a few universal exercises for releasing anger across all the different sorts of methodologies and therapies I’ve researched. I’ve captured the essence here.

Often times you need to do this a few times. Pain comes in waves, and often times one such exercise won’t be enough to release all that pent-up energy.

There are many causes of anger or sadness; bad parenting, childhood bullies, and so on. Try to trace it back to the roots, understand it, and try to give it a voice. As you’ll see below, this is vital, as the vocal component is the most important.

Note: If it is something that you cannot handle, please do not feel ashamed to seek out professional help. And avoid self-destruction; numbing of the pain with alcohol, drugs, or other risky behaviour. I went through a whole year of this and paid for this behaviour physically and emotionally for nearly a year after. And I’m one of the luckier ones.

Once you have that, find a safe location. Somewhere you can scream and act out your anger and sadness either alone, or with an understanding person. With each one of the following options, remember you need to scream out all the words you’ve always wanted to say while you are doing it. Even if it’s just a string of vulgarities, do it!

Let it all out. You might feel weird and self-conscious doing this, it’s normal. Don’t give up. Just do it over and over again until you feel that all your repressed anger is gone. You’ll know when this happens, instinctively. It might take weeks, it might take days, it’s different for everyone.

The three steps

1) Do this in a safe location. Kneel on your bed like you’re praying. Find a large pillow. Make a hammer fist with your hands. Not a boxing style fist, you might your wrist. And pound the pillows, with all your might until you can’t go any more.

2) Sometimes twisting is better. Find a towel, and twist it like you are trying to wring out every last drop of water.

3) Sometimes just screaming is good enough. Go somewhere abandoned, with some loud music put on maximum and scream with your whole body. Become the yell. Yell until your whole body trembles.

What’s next?
Usually what follows the release of anger is sadness. Read the next in this series of articles for this at the Urban Monk website. You’re on your way to Mastery!

This article is for educational purposes only. It is based on the author’s research and own experience; however you and you alone are responsible for what you do with it. By reading this article you agree that he will assume no liability or responsibility to any person or entity for any loss or damage related directly or indirectly to this article.

It was many years ago. The boy was not more than ten years old as he stood beside the man that early morning. They were both standing on the shore of the Atlantic looking east toward the rising sun. The chill morning air caused a slight shiver to run through the boy. The man, seeming to know without even looking, took off his jacket and draped it over the small shoulders of his son. They walked up to the water’s edge as the man spoke: “You see that wide expanse of water? It is made of billions of gallons, and each gallon is made of tens of thousands of drops.”

The little boy seemed curious. “And what are the drops made of?” he asked.

With a smile, the man replied: “The drops are made of smaller and smaller drops, and each in turn is made of bits and pieces of things that make the very world we live in.”

“What am I made of, Dad?” the boy asked after a short while. “Am I made of the same stuff as the ocean?”

The father smiled as he replied: “Everything is made of everything else, and everything is a part of other things. As you stand here this morning, you are a part of this land, this shore, this ocean. Look at that tree, the sky. They are parts of the very me and the eternal “I”. There is a force that keeps us together. Some call that force God, others, Allah, Jehovah, or Jove. There are a thousand names for this force, but it doesn’t matter what it’s called. It just is. As you grow older and wiser, you will find the stirring of this mighty force within you. You will know that it’s always there, and that you’re safe and happy within it.”

The boy, with a puzzled expression, looked at his father and asked: “How can this force, this God, be within me and at the same time be in everything else I see?”

“Because,” the man replied, “God is in everything and everyone. God is in you and in me, in those gulls you see over there, in the sand under our feet and the lilies of the field. God is everywhere and everything, and there cannot be two everything. God is a part of you just like the drop of water is a part of this ocean. Remember this well and you will grow up to have a sense of peace, joy and understanding.”

Decades have passed since I stood on that shore with my father. I have since traveled to many countries, lived in various cultures, and experienced deep sorrow and great joy. I have seen the best and the worst of my fellow human beings, Yet, through it all, I could hear the voice of my father telling me: “God is everywhere and everything, and there cannot be two everything.”

As a young boy, I grew up in a small village of Hindus, Christians, Moslems and others. I learned at a very early age that all people are shipmates on the common voyage of life and that one cannot sink one’s shipmates without sinking oneself. As I studied the Vedic writings and compared them with the words of the Hebrew prophets and the teachings of the New Testament Apostles, I found that the common thread running through them all was love. The greatest commandment ever given was “Love your God and love one another” – all others are simply variations on that theme.

There is a particular mantra (word or phrase used during meditation) of which I am very fond: Baba Nam Kevalam. It is written in the sanskrit language and I have heard it translated into English many ways over the years. “God’s name only” is a very simple, direct and useful one, but I tend to translate it differently for my yoga students. “Everything is an expression of God” or “Everything is an expression of the supreme consciousness.” Whether that is the best translation or not, I can not say, but it works for me, and I believe the statement to be the truth and furthermore that the realization of that truth by a person will result in a dramatic transformation in him/her. A transformation from the “normal” to the sublime, from the tortured to the blissful, from the ignorant to the wise, from the harmful to the benevolent, from the unconscious to the conscious.

Sometimes when I simply reflect on the word “conscious,” I become euphoric. It is so simple, yet so liberating to be truly conscious of something, anything. No big mystery. To be “aware” of something is another way of saying it. If I notify my kids that it is snowing outside, they will immediately run to the window to verify the story, and assuming I have told the truth, they will soon become “conscious” of the snow. They run to the window, not because they don’t trust me, but because they are hungry for that experience of awareness of the snow. Snow is something they have seen before but only rarely in the rainy area we live in. Yet, it is something they love for many reasons. Snow gives them great joy and they drink in the “vision” from the window. What a blessing it is that holds their attention (another word for consciousness I believe) so firmly. The snow is so white and pure, and it floats so gracefully to the Earth seemingly from Heaven. Ten minutes ago they might have been bickering over a toy they don’t even want to play with, but now they are sharing a window as they both witness snow. Their minds are focused, joyful, one with the snow. For my kids, snow is fulfilling the purpose of art, lifting their minds up from their normal existence to a more lofty state.

But what is consciousness? It is something we all have to some extent, some people seem to have more of it than others, and if we get hit on the head too hard, we lose if for a while. But is it something we can cultivate and grow? Can we expand or somehow strengthen our consciousness? I am not talking about the intellect. That is something completely different. That is the computer, the information manipulator, the little puzzle solver. I am talking about consciousness. The consciousness that tells us “I am breathing”, “I am cold”, “The sun just came up”, “I am hungry”, “I exist” “You exist” “I have a blissful feeling in my heart.”

I propose that we consider consciousness a valuable commodity that can be expanded/developed, and something that can be used to an extent we would never have dreamed possible. Furthermore, I am going to go very far out on a limb now and tell you I believe we can use this “super-consciousness” to revolutionize our personal existence and give us undreamed of powers. Next, I would like to introduce the concept of “intuition”. Here is a word we are all familiar with, but not generally in terms of religion. Sadly intuition is thought of as not much more than a lucky hunch here and there, but I think it is a natural albeit undeveloped personal ability, which is both reliable and nothing more than an extension of that day to day “consciousness” that I mentioned above.

So what’s the problem? Why aren’t we all brimming over with the power of intuition? Because:
A. We are drowning in a sea of mental noise
B. There is no “B”

OK, hold on to your hat; this is the way I see it…. Our primary existence is consciousness. Essentially, we are nothing more or less than a pinpoint of pure consciousness. That pinpoint is surrounded by the rest of the cosmos, which I will call “reality.” We are the subject, “reality” is the object (signal) we are trying to be “conscious” of, but (for better or worse) in between we have a layer of noise, which I will call the “ego”, a fictitious sense of self, a misunderstanding of who we are, and that persistent belief that we are this absurd dream identity is the only thing preventing us from experiencing heaven right here on Earth.

So, how do we get rid of the noise and attain this super consciousness? For want of a better word, let’s call it “yoga.” Yoga directly translated means “union,” similar to the translation of the word “religion” by the way. Yoga promises to unite us with our true nature known in yoga circles as “the Self.” The full nature of yoga practice goes way beyond the scope of this short essay, but for the benefit of the novice who may hold the misunderstanding that yoga is merely a set of stretching exercises, I will briefly run over the 8 “limbs” of yoga as originally presented by the great yogi Pantanjali:

1. Yama (a group of 5 morel rules of the road)
2. Niyama; some additional guidelines for day to day behavior (study, helping others etc)
3. Asanas; the physical exercises that have become popular in the West
4. Pranayama; best known as breathing exercises
5. Pratyahara; withdrawal from the senses (preliminary to mediation)
6. Dharana; concentration exercises (meditation)
7. Dhyana; Attention to spiritual phenomena (contemplation)
8. Samadhii; Complete absorption in spiritual experience

I highly encourage anyone interested to seek instruction from a qualified instructor. For more information on yoga and the Baba Nam Kevalam mantra, please visit www.babanam.com.

Baba Nam Kevalam

Intrinsic motivation is when an individual is motivated by internal factors, as opposed to external factors.

Examples of intrinsic motivation would be doing something because you feel it is the moral and ethical thing to do; doing something because you know it will benefit others or doing something because it brings you pleasure and joy.

The latter is common in regards to an enjoyable pastime or a hobby.

It is believed that intrinsic motivation is far stronger than extrinsic motivation however there are times when extrinsic motivation can become stronger because it displaces intrinsic motivation.

This is known as the overjustification effect. For example this occurs when you begin doing something for intrinsic reasons and then are offered monies or another type of reward for doing it that overrides the reason you started doing it in the first place.

In many cases when this happens, a person loses interest in the activity once the reward is taken away. The key is to not offer large extrinsic rewards for something that is meant to be motivated intrinsically (in other words, from within).

Intrinsic motivation has been widely studied by researchers in the realm of education since the start of the 1970s and their findings have been that when students are intrinsically motivated to do well in school, they tend to perform better, make higher marks and they also tend to enjoy the material they are learning a great deal more.

A man named Bernard Weiner created a theory known as the “Attribution Theory” and he looked at such things as the orientation of goals and the locus of control (internal and external).

As an aside, an internal locus of control is when a person believes that they have control over what happens to them whereas an external locus of control means that a person believes that control is outside of themselves and has more to do with extraneous factors as opposed to their own actions.

According to Bernard Weiner, students are much more likely to possess intrinsic motivation in their studies if they feel that their educational achievements have more to do with their own efforts as opposed to anything else.

As well students will experience intrinsic motivation if they feel that they play a paramount role in attaining their own personal educational goals as opposed to feeling as those it has more to do with luck or simply a “roll of the dice.” Finally when students have motivation that comes from within they will work harder to completely understand and master a given subject as opposed to simply learning the work at hand so they can pass a test or exam and then forgetting it afterwards.

Keep in mind that intrinsic motivation holds no promise of rewards for students as opposed to extrinsic motivation, which is all about rewards.

Many decades of research has given rise to a theory known as “Goal Theory” which has shown that intrinsic motivation in some communities and groups is altruistic in nature as the desire to help others and contribute to the greater whole is the number one motivator.

When a person appeals to the common good or does something based on a moral obligation or commitment to others this is when intrinsic motivation is shown to be alive and well in the world.

“A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is.” – Seneca

A brief observation about man and his ability to think opens a door of empowerment worthy of exploring. It’s easy to be happy when things are going well, isn’t it? But what about those times when things are going badly? What do we do? Some of us brave on with a stiff upper lip and breeze right over the trouble as if there wasn’t any at all. Some of us cave in under pressure and behave pretty miserably. What makes us different? Seneca reveals a secret power of the mind when he observed that some of us convince ourselves to be in a certain state of mind.

Why would anyone do such a foolish thing as to convince themselves to be unhappy? There are plenty of reasons; but let’s leave that to the psycho-analysts and therapists to work out. I am interested in the fact the man can change his state of mind. Can people change their state of mind by sheer will power? Yes you can! You know you can! Haven’t you as a child put on a mask of pretense and played the role when you had an incentive. I once stayed home from school, so I played sick. Later my mom can in my bedroom and said she was going to the store and wanted to know if I wanted anything. Well that was all I needed. I through off the covers and stood up fast as lightening and said, can I go with you? Ice cream was my incentive. Of course I blew my cover and that was the end of that. So how do we do it? How do we convince ourselves to be happy? Here are the 5 simple steps:

1) You must have an incentive. You need a burning desire. Think about the goal. What will “acting” happy do for you? Well it will make people around you nicer for one thing. Having happy people around you will make you happy because a positive state of mind is catchy. You can turn a situation around.

2) Remember it’s an act. You are playing a role. Fake it till you make it! Even if you are not happy, act as if you are. Keep talking to yourself. Keep telling yourself the reasons why you need to be happy. Sell yourself on the outcome. Make it real. Details make stories real. Think of details.

3) Ignore the negative self-chatter. Your mind will continually try to interrupt your play by reminding you about the reality of things. Don’t listen to the negative tapes that tell you that you won’t succeed and you are a failure. Just act happy.

4) Use positive triggers. Everyone has a trigger that makes them happy. Maybe its whistling, maybe it’s singing a song in your head.

5)Remember that time heals all wounds. In time your trouble will pass.

Let’s face it; we sometimes have to convince ourselves to be happy when we are not in the mood. Just knowing we have the power to do that is empowering enough for me. Taking the action to convince yourself to be happy is even more empowering. Try it on the next time your day goes bad. You may just be surprised about the outcome!

Are you immobilized by procrastination and indecision? We all know that it is impossible to steer a car that’s not moving and the same is true with your life. You simply cannot direct and steer your life if you are immobilized by procrastination and indecision. It is what prevents you from doing the very things you need to do to make progress.

This debilitating behavior, or shall I say lack of behavior, is responsible for destroying so many dreams and aspirations. Action is the proper fruit of knowledge and doing what you ‘know’ is often much harder than knowing ‘what’ to do. This is actually a very accurate description of procrastination. It is the frustrating pattern of wanting to (consciously), knowing how to, but not doing it. It is the lack of action that keeps you from moving forward and making progress. Frustration sets in when you know you can do something, but still you don’t, and this frustration can easily turn into anger, a loss of self confidence and even depression.

If you are the kind of person who’s actively improving and developing yourself, then there’s usually a gap between where you are and where you want to be. The only way to close this gap is to take action; to act on your desire for change and self improvement. For this very reason you simply cannot afford to be stuck in procrastination. You must take action and liberate yourself from the disempowering effects of procrastination.

Procrastination is not so much a behavior as it is a way of thinking. The real problem is with your psychology and not with your behavior – the behavior is only the symptom. To liberate yourself from procrastination you must liberate yourself from the inside. It’s an internal shift that’s necessary and once you make the internal shift, it will automatically spill over into your actions. Here are three powerful procrastination tips that will help you liberate yourself from its immobilizing effects.

1. Detach Yourself From Your Behavior.

Realize that you are not your behavior. As soon as you start identifying with a behavior you become it. Just because you procrastinate at times does not make you a procrastinator unless you believe it. One of the strongest forces within the human personality is for your behavior to be consistent with your self concept. Once you believe that you are a ‘procrastinator’ all your actions will be filtered through this belief. Since all beliefs are self-reinforcing you will only strengthen this belief with your (in)action.

Instead, you must start by building a positive self image and develop empowering beliefs. Choose different ways of defining yourself and forget about what you’ve done up until now. This is a fresh moment and you can change everything around, right now, by changing your beliefs about yourself.

2. You Don’t Have To Get It Perfect – You Just Have To Get It Started

One of the major causes for procrastination is this notion of wanting to get everything perfect. For some it even goes as far as waiting for the ‘perfect time’ before they take action. Underneath this need to get things perfect lies the fear of failure and how your results will reflect on you. See, when you do nothing, nobody can judge or criticize you. Right? Wrong!

If you do nothing you will get nowhere. This universe is one that is driven by action. There are NO rewards for inaction. Only frustration and a longing for something that you know you can achieve, ‘if only you do it’. Instead of making perfection your goal, you should make ‘starting’ your goal. As you do this and practice it you will soon discover the real secret: once you start, you build momentum and you end up doing much more than you ever intended to do when you set out to just get it started.

Perfection does not exist. Don’t be misguided by the illusion that you have to get it perfect. It’s a weak excuse and one that will keep you immobilized. Liberate yourself and strive for a ‘poor’ result that way you cannot be disappointed!

3. Change Your Perception

One of the most profound teachings that have its roots in eastern philosophy, is that when you change the way you look at things, things change. This idea can free you from virtually anything that might be holding you down. All of life relies on perception. What you ‘take in’ with your senses are nothing but a vast array of sounds, colors, shapes, images and smells. None of it has any meaning in itself. You are the one that can give it meaning, and you are the one that gets to decide how you interpret this information.

Procrastination is nothing but a way of evaluating something and assigning a meaning to it that keeps you from taking action. At some level, mostly subconscious, you believe that taking action will be more painful than not taking action and by design; you will prevent yourself from taking action.

This is one of the most powerful procrastination tips and you can liberate yourself by starting to change the way you look at the things that you are procrastinating about. Ask yourself ‘what else can this mean’ and instead of saying that you ‘have to do it’ say that you ‘choose to do it’. The difference is subtle, but significant. Change the way you look at things and the things will change.

These three procrastination tips are by no means the begin all and end all of overcoming procrastination, but it will most certainly help to liberate you from being immobilized by procrastination and indecision.