We live in a busy society. We may have demanding jobs, children, families and many other “important” things that hoover up all of our time, and before we know it, Christmas is looming once more and we’re muttering about another year just passing us by.

How many times do you say, “I’ll read that book later when I have more time” or “I’ll finish listening to that audio program when I have more time” or something very similar?

You may want to create the life of your dreams, but it just seems so very difficult with so many other things that just have to be dealt with. You may not have the time to spend an hour a day meditating and an hour a day working on your personal development and an hour a day working on your business. In fact, for some of us, we’re lucky if we can even find time to sleep!

However, the key is not the spend time “doing” personal development work, but to just do it!

This means live it; make it a part of your life; something that you do every moment of every day in everything that you do with everyone that you meet.

You can sit on the bus or train to work, close your eyes and work on releasing emotional blocks. You can become aware of what people are reflecting back to you about yourself in your conversations and interactions. Being aware of your problems brings you much closer to changing them.

You may want to find more time to listen to audio programs or some of my hypnosis CD’s. My hypnosis CD’s you can put on when you go to bed to listen to. You don’t need to use headphones to listen to them, nor do you have to be awake. The subliminal versions can be listened to anytime, even when you are working and doing other things; so you can still get the benefit of the programs.

For spoken word programs, what about listening to them on your commute to work? Or if you spend your evening sat in front of the television, turn it off and put one of these programs on instead.

Look at how you are using your time. How much of what you are doing is constructive and something you absolutely must do right now? Are there times you are not doing constructive things? Could you combine activities, for example, watch the television whilst doing something else working towards your future?

Everyone promotes their own time management system. Have a look at a few of them, try them and find something that works for you. This could even be a combination of different systems. It doesn’t matter so long as it saves you times, keeps your organised and helps you to get things done.

At the end of the day, you need to decide what is most important in your life.

Is it more important to do the ironing right now and make sure you don’t miss the latest episode of your soap opera?

Or is it more important to sit down and spend some time planning and working towards creating the life of your dreams?

Working on changing your life can appear to be very daunting, particularly if you are not in the best of places to start with. You look at everything that you want to change and want to deal with and wonder where on earth you are going to start.

In these cases it is best to “chunk” down the tasks and the goals you have in mind. This means break the big goal into smaller chunks, or take baby steps. Take it one step at a time, and before you know it, you will be where you want to be.

How many people get to their old age and say, “I wish I had spent more time at work” or ironing, or watching soap operas, or …

So what can you do to find more time

Look at what activities you are engaged in and decide which you can cut out for the sake of creating the future of your dreams Combine some activities so you are doing more than one thing at a time

Focus on what is important to you. Is half hour in front of a soap opera more important than a half hour working towards your future?

Prioritise creating the life of your dreams

Right now, stop saying, “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll sort that out when I have time” or “I’ll deal with that later”. It’s never going to happen; never going to work. Just do it and make it happen right now.

The perfect situation for change will never happen. You will always find distractions, excuses and reasons not to make the changes or take the action. You can spend many miserable years waiting for that perfect situation and you know what? There’s never going to be a perfect situation, only the now.

As the advert for the trainers say, “Just do it”. That’s what you need to do too. Stop planning, putting off and thinking you’ll do something when you have more time. Just do it today

“We are all born with the same amount of time. Nobody will ever get any more than 24 hours in a day; nobody will get more than 365 days in a year. It’s your choice whether you will use this time to create an amazing life or fritter it away uselessly. It is this choice that makes the achievers stand head and shoulders above everyone else. What’s your choice? Jason E. Johns

“Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan” Margaret Thatcher

“Look to this day … for yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision. But today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” Sanskrit

Most of us live our lives hungry, hungry for love, attention, praise, success. But no matter how much we take in, it’s hard to be satisfied and feel full. We may get what we need momentarily, but then before long we’re craving more. It is easy to spend each day waiting for tomorrow when we will get what we dream of. Most think that tomorrow they will arrive arrive at their goal, find a new job, have good weather, or finally, magically, meet the love of their life.

But when tomorrow comes it’s another day, just like this one. Unless we know what this day is, and how to live it fully and truly, the fulfillment we dream of never comes. In Zen this is called being a hungry ghost- someone at a banquet who eats and eats, but is still unable to taste the food, feel full or be nourished by it.

The good news is that we can learn to eat, digest and be nourished by all that comes to us. Zen practice is about stopping the merry go round of our minds and heart.

We take our attention off the prizes we think are waiting for us, off being good enough someday, and realize we’re good enough now. At this very moment we are that which we seek so fervently.

How To Take The First Step

Stop For A Moment

Practice is about stopping. We stop our usual way of running,moving, chasing, fixing, thinking, doing and take a breath. Just a simple breath, just like one we take every moment of our lives, but pay no attention to. The first step is to take charge of our focus and pay attention to what’s going on now,right here, under our eyes, to this very breath.

Without this precious breath and the one that follows it, we would not be anywhere. Strange, isn’t it, how we take this breath for granted. What else do we take for granted? It’s worthwhile to look and see.

Exercise: Paying Attention

Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention, what you give your life force to.

Most of us spend our lives paying attention to the dreams created by our racing, scheming minds. We allow this Monkey Mind to rule us. The monkey mind is the mind that hops from person to person, job to job, desire to desire, thought to thought. It always wants more, never feels good and doesn’t now how to say thank you.

It chatters endlessly and is an expert in spoiling, judging and criticizing everything. Sometimes it is very loud in our lives. Other times it settles down. This monkey mind pursues that which has no value and doesn’t know how to find that which it is yearning for.

In order to fill our hungry hearts, we must learn how to recognize and dissolve this monkey mind, to take our attention away from it, to turn our focus to what counts.

Exercise: Stop The Monkey Mind

Spend some time getting to know how the Monkey Mind is operating in your life. Much of our misery is caused by IT. The first step is becoming aware. We need not hate, reject or try to get rid of it, just to recognize what’s going on. This recognition takes its power away. As we learn to make friends with this part of ourselves we help it to settle down and take its proper place. As you pay attention and stay in the present, little by little you will be returning to your original self. This is the part of yourself which knows the truth, is kind and filled with clarity. As this part of you grows, everyday life and the struggles it brings, will become transformed. Life will become fresh and new possibilities will come to you all by themselves.

Cc/author/2007

For the most part, we are all conformists. We will do what the crowd does. We might not like to admit that, but it is true. Only 5 to 10 percent of the population engages in behavior contrary to the social norm.
We see this law operating in groups, in organizations, in meetings, and in day-to-day public life. In all of these circumstances, there is a certain standard or norm. In churches, the moral code determines the standard behavior acceptable for the group. In organizations, the bylaws and years of tradition establish a standard operating procedure. Because we want to fit into these groups and maintain our membership with them, we conform our actions to the norm.

We seek to find out what others are doing as a way of validating our own actions. This method is how we decide what constitutes “correct” behavior. We see the behavior as more correct when we see others doing it. The more people do it, the more correct it becomes. Professor Kirk Hansen of the Stanford Business School demonstrated this when he boosted downloads for best-selling files on the Web by downloading those files over and over himself so the counter was artificially high. He and his team then observed that these boosted downloaded files were downloaded even more frequently. The high number on the counter indicated popularity, and people were most interested in downloading the files that were already ranked the highest. Whether the question is what to do with an empty can of soda at the park, how fast to drive in the city, or how to eat the soup at a restaurant, the validation of others give us our answers and therefore guides our actions.

We feel validation when we see others do what we want to do. We learned early in life that we make fewer mistakes when we follow the social norm. There are two types of norms: explicit and implicit. Explicit norms are openly spoken or written. For example, road signs, employee manuals, or game rules are all examples of explicit norms. Implicit norms are not usually stated openly. For example, you usually don’t have to be directed to say hello or to smile when you see someone, but you do it anyway. Or, somehow you know better than to put your feet up on the dinner table when you’re a guest in someone’s home, even though your host most likely will not request that you refrain from doing so.

If we don’t know the norm, we look around and find it. The Law of Social Validation becomes a way to save time and energy in figuring out what is correct. We use others’ behavior to guide our own actions, to validate what we should or should not do. We don’t always have to look at the positive and the negative in every situation. This automatic trigger saves us from thinking. We compare what we do against the standard of what everyone else is doing. If we find a discrepancy between what we observe and what we do, we tend to make changes in the direction of the social norm.

Social validation compels us to change our behaviors, our attitudes, and our actions, even when what we observe doesn’t really match our true feelings, style, and thoughts. We go against our better judgment because we want to be liked, accepted, and found in agreement with everyone else. When we are part of a crowd, we “no longer feel individually responsible for our emotions or actions. We can allow ourselves to shout, sing, cry, or strike without temperament imposed by personal accountability.”

We seek out social norms to help us know what we should be feeling or doing. For the most part, this is not a conscious process. We subconsciously accept many ways of behaving that are determined by our surroundings and the actions of others, such as raising our hands to speak in class, tipping in a restaurant, or how we behave at a concert. When we become part of a group, our once divergent emotions and feelings tend to converge.

When we find ourselves in a foreign situation where we feel awkward or unsure of how to act, we look for those social cues that will dictate our behavior. This could be at a party, during freshman orientation, or even while attending a family gathering. When the social information we are seeking is at all ambiguous, we don’t know how to respond and thus continue seeking out social clues. Imagine if you were sitting in the movie theater enjoying your show when somebody shouted, “FIRE!” Do you think you would jump up and run for it? Well, if everyone else did, you would, too. If everyone remained seated, you would remain seated also.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

— Elisabeth K

Clinical depression is known to impact the lives of one out of every six people in their lifetime. But the sad reality is that the medical community still does not entirely understand exactly what causes depression to occur in one person and not in another.

Yes, we do know that depression is hereditary.

Depression can often be found to run throughout the generations of the same family invading the DNA molecules which make up a particular family’s genes. This causes the family members to be more susceptible to depression.

However, there is another school of thought that says perhaps the real reason we see depression run in families is that it is also environmental in that it all depends on how the children are raised. If they see the affects of depression encroaching on the lives of their family and they see the results then they will learn to deal with life the very same way.

Even though we are quite clear that depression runs in families, depression is also seen in those without any family history. Stress resulting from a variety of issues, trauma, or even prescription medications or illegal drugs have all been known to cause depression.

Riding the ups and downs of depression can leave you even more exhausted that the last wave of depression you faced. Depression is known to run in cycles. You may feel completely fine one day and the next day you may be completely and utterly unable to get yourself out of the bed and out of your night clothes. The dramatic ranges of emotions are well documented in cases of depression.

Many healthcare providers and scientist alike believe that many suffering with depression manifest a chemical imbalance of Norepinephrine and Serotonin which are the feel good neurotransmitters found in the central nervous system and in the brain.

These neurotransmitters work to help control feelings of happiness and well being. The neurotransmitter Norepinephrine is thought to be a stress hormone; while Serotonin is thought to control hunger, overall moods, sleep and sexual feelings.
When these chemicals get out of whack they are thought to cause depression.

So if you think about it, when these neurotransmitters are out of balance it only makes sense that the roller coaster ride of depression would result. As these levels of these chemical rises and falls thereto go the emotions and feelings associated with them.

The real question is why do some people experience peaks and valleys with their chemical make up while others seem to be more stable. Again, it begs the question is it really the environment in which you were raised or is it truly the ebb and flow of the neurotransmitters that alter feelings causing the dramatic impact of depression.

Do you mirror your family because that is all you know how to do, it is the only way you know to respond or is it that you are genetically and chemically bound to your family and because of that simply have no choice of being impacted by depression.

We need more research and time to study this issue before there is a definitive answer. What we do know is that regardless of the reason why, we do know that depression tends to run in families and if you have a family member that has dealt with the issue then you should be aware of the possibility that you too could be fighting the same battle one day.

Be aware, seek help early and learn what you can do in order to prevent depression before it takes control of your life.

The holidays have been making me think about things that truly make me happy. Appreciation of things that I value brings me happiness. One thing I appreciate is my freedom. I especially am grateful for my freedom in these days of trouble and uncertainty. Our country is in a state of war. We may choose to look away or forget it but the truth is we are at war with an enemy that can not be easily defined or easily seen. We are not at war with Iraq. It is a war against terrorism, and that includes many countries. A major part of the war is being fought on Iraqi soil, but this war we are waging is with terrorists in Afghanistan, in Lebanon, In Israel, In Iran, In India, In Saudi Arabia, in Indonesia, in places too numerous to mention. It is easy to become discouraged, especially if you have a son or daughter fighting in one of these countries. But Instead of letting this war steal away my happiness and personal empowerment, I find encouragement in little victories I achieve every day, victories that satisfy my senses in some small way. I remember Ayn Rand’s words about achieving being tied to happiness. She said: “Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of ones values.” So I sprinkle little bits of happiness in my life by achieving things that satisfy my sense of values.

For example, there is a bulletin board in my church that has among other things listed there, the addresses of men and women from our church serving in the armed forces. I have my own boy serving in the army and what a nice idea to write to these boys from time to time to encourage them. My own son tells me how encouraged he Is when he gets mail from the family. What a way to make them and yourself happy at the same time..

You may not be Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt but have you considered adopting a child from one of these third world countries where children are starving to death and don’t have homes or parents to care for them? This may not be for everyone but what a wonderful feeling it must be to be able to save a child from a terrible destiny by reaching out to help in some way. If you can not adopt, have you thought about just contributing dollars to the cause. My wife and I contribute 10% of our income to our church which uses those funds to help victims of war, weather, or some other natural disaster. That is what that fund is for, and I am happy every Sunday when I get a chance to make a money offering to help these children in some way or another.

Those are huge commitments and some of us may not be in a position to do that, but are there small things we can do to make the needy happy? Sure. As with any gift, it is not the magnificence of the gift that brings joy to the receiver; it is the thought that counts. So why not busy yourself with small things you can do. Here is a list to start with:

Call someone you know who is ill
Call everyone in your family including those who you haven’t in a while
Write a poem and send it to someone you know that needs encouragement
Send birthday cards to family
Send birthday cards to friends and acquaintances and new people you have recently met
Start a money collection for an injured coworker
Pick up someone who needs a ride to the store, or church
Help someone pack who is moving
Visit someone who is sick
Visit the elderly
Visit widows and widowers
Get children in your church involved with programs such as boy scouts, swimming, etc…
Visit lonely people who you know
Make a meal and give it to a sick one next door

The above are just some examples of how you can help the needy. You may not be able to help someone in Indonesia get their freedom. Then again your contributions towards that cause may help to accomplish that. I myself prefer to see how my money is at work so I stick to local campaigns to help the needy except for my tithing money which I permit the church to use at its discretion. There are plenty of local campaigns to go around where ever you live. They are all around us; we don’t have to go to a third world country to find them. If happiness proceeds from an achievement of my values, as Rand said, then finding ways to give in my way is critically important to my happiness. I believe that true happiness comes when you empower others.