Monthly Archives: May 2010

Storytelling: Pure Emotional Persuasion

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I’ll admit it. I cry at movies sometimes. I’m comfortable with it and not ashamed in the least. Movies are stories and stories have been used to elicit emotions (either by design or accident) since the beginning of man. Some of the most fantastic stories are tremendously moving. This emotion can be manifested as a ‘feel good’ or a ‘tear jerker’, it can be uplifting or depressing, revolutionary, or merely entertaining. The most important thing to keep upper most in your mind as you think about stories, is that they are an opening, a hole, so to speak, that you can fill with a message, your message.

Stories tailored for business and sales need to consider the emotional state of mind that they will put your prospect our client in. In persuasion, we’re really simply using stories to control these emotional states. The value of stories is in the state in which it puts our audience.

When I tell stories I want to both make a point and put my prospect into a profound emotional state, carry them away, so to speak and open to accepting my message.

Ideally, we should have an arsenal of compelling, persuasive, powerful stories at our ready for any given situation. Think about ‘respect’, for example. For our affluent and perhaps elderly client

You Have a Gift, Release It

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Every person on this earth has a special gift. The gifts may not all be equal but they are all special. What is your gift?

It may be singing, acting or craftsmanship. Or you may have an eye for detail, allowing you to turn an ordinary space into a wonderful haven, where people would want to spend their time.

It’s never too late to make a change and find a path that will allow you to be true to yourself. You just need to recognize your gift and take it out from where it is hidden.

The time has come for you to let your light shine and to do what you truly enjoy. Do it for yourself and for nobody else. But when you do, your light might just lighten up somebody else’s way.

Before I started my business I thought I had no special talent and that I therefore had nothing worthwhile to offer. I know that many of you are at that place right now. I want to encourage and tell you that you have got something. What it is I don’t know, only you do. But I know this, it is something special.

Not sharing it with the world will be doing a great disservice to yourself and to the entire world. Nothing is appreciated until it is released for all to see, hear and treasure.

Imagine a world without a Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, Bill Gates or a Picasso. It’s almost like imagining a world without music or computers as we know them. By sharing their talent with us, these individuals have certainly made our world a better place.

There are others you can think of, who have appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and have redefined our worlds. They have changed the way we eat drink and relax, even the way we do business. But before they took that step to show us what they had, nobody had even an inkling as to what was coming.

What about you. Who knows how you could change our world. You could be the next big thing, but even if you don’t change the world like Bill Gates, you could still change your world, in a million ways. And ultimately that’s the most important part. Changing your world.

If you don’t do something about it you’ll never know, what you’re capable of. You’ll never know how it could have been. By taking that first step you’re making a declaration of your independence.

What caused me to take that first step? I was sick and tired of living for weekends. I was tired of working for a living, of always not having enough money. I got tired of getting up in the morning and going to work even if I didn’t feel it. I was tired of being told what to do and how to do it. I wanted my freedom and independence.

I realized that there are so may people all over the world who need someone to tell them that they can achieve their dreams, just as I needed someone to tell me that.

I knew that when I made it I would inspire so many others who thought they couldn’t make it. When you make your dreams come true it may be only for yourself, but there are hundreds and maybe thousands who’ll be inspired. Especially in your own community.

They’ll say if so and so could do it, I can do it too. People are not as much influenced by people from afar as they are by those close to them. Your success becomes their success.

So go out there and follow your dreams. Don’t be afraid to become the first in your community. Take it little by little, day by day, step by step. As you accomplish the one step the next step will come into view, and will be that much more manageable.

Leadership Skills: Managing Meetings

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Analyse Strategic Level Meetings Needs, by: considering the strategic direction and objectives, and senior level operational objectives; identifying an appropriate structure of meetings to satisfy the communication and decision making needs in these areas. Evaluate The Current Meetings Structure, by: analysing the current structure and format of senior level meetings: identifying and evaluating the frequency, format, attendance, and outcomes of current meetings; comparing these findings with the needs identified in the previous stage. These two stages are critical. In all areas, and at all levels, leaders of organisations must not allow the status quo to remain in place without regular and rigorous evaluation against current and forecast objectives. The same is true of senior level meetings. The attendance, format, frequency, and outcomes must be regularly evaluated to ensure that they meet the needs of the current strategic direction and objectives.

Establish Agreed Meetings Structure, by: informing and discussing proposed changes with all senior level stakeholders; agreeing and implementing the revised or new structure; providing training for new roles and approaches, where necessary. Changing the existing framework and format of senior level meetings will inevitably cause some disruption and possibly some conflict. However, it is essential that the organisation has structures and processes in place, at all levels, and in all areas of activity, that support and contribute to the strategic direction taken by the organisation. Meetings are a key part of the communication, information management, and decision making processes, and must therefore be shaped and managed to meet the needs of these functions. Any difficulties that change in this area brings, must be dealt with and overcome.

Planning for meetings for the leader, by: discussing and agreeing with colleagues, when appropriate, the purpose of the meeting; deciding on the purpose of the meeting; setting clear and precise objectives, as outcomes of the meeting; deciding on who should attend, though this might be a by-default list it is still necessary to review this regularly; set an appropriate date, time, and place for the meeting,again a default may apply, but should be reviewed regularly; issue an agenda to all participants and to all other stakeholders; issue supporting information in time for participants to become familiar with it; arrange pre-meeting discussions where necessary; ensure that necessary administrative arrangements will be made; complete personal participation preparation. Planning for meetings for the participants, by: ensuring that all participants are made aware of their obligations to prepare professionally for the meeting; ensuring that participants are provided with all necessary information to enable them to contribute to the meeting effectively; arranging for pre-meeting discussions with participants with particular concerns or needs regarding the meeting; adjusting the agenda to take into account legitimate specific needs of individual participants. In ensuring that each individual meeting is effective, planning is the most important stage. As with all key activities, appropriate preparation is the key to success. Even regularly scheduled meetings should be prepared for in the manner described above. The most common reason for regular meetings losing their credibility and influence is that each meeting is not given sufficient individual attention. The purpose, the desired outcomes, attendees, format, frequency, timing, location, should all be reviewed regularly. The leader must ensure that each meeting is managed professionally and that its purpose is not diluted by lack of preparation, not on the part of the leader, or chairperson, nor on the part of any of the attendees.

Chairing Meetings Effectively, by: being fully prepared, as described above; arriving in advance to oversee final preparations; welcoming participants as they arrive; starting the meeting at the agreed time; introducing new participants; summarising the format of the meeting; reiterating the purpose of the meeting; reiterating the agenda; shaping and controlling the nature and direction of discussion on each agenda item; ensuring that each participant is encouraged to contribute appropriately; remaining as objective as possible; summarising progress and decisions, at appropriate intervals; managing the time spent on each agenda item and overall; reviewing key discussion points and decisions made; confirming individual and collective follow-up actions; thanking participants for their contributions; reminding participants of the next scheduled meeting; formally close the meeting. When taking the role of Chair, the leader is highly visible, and the way in which they manage the meeting will be judged by the participants and add to or detract from their opinion of the leader’s capabilities. For this reason, the leader must ensure that when they personally chair meetings, they do this in a professional, firm but fair manner. Although some would argue that the Chair of a meeting should remain unbiased and act purely as a facilitator, this is not possible when the Chair is also the leader, or one of the leaders, of the organisation. Nevertheless, when acting as Chair, the leader should make every effort to facilitate effectively, whilst also presenting their own views when appropriate. A difficult role, but one that must be carried out well.

Follow Up Effectively, by: ensuring that all key discussion points, issues raised, decisions made, actions agreed, are recorded accurately; distributing the minutes of the meetings to participants; requesting action plans from participants who have agreed to take follow up actions; monitoring the progress on follow up actions; obtaining feedback from participants on their view of the effectiveness of the meeting; adjusting the approach to future meetings as necessary.

In Summary: although managing meetings at a senior level can appear to be technically straightforward, these meetings play a critical role in the strategic level communication process, and if ineffective will seriously damage the quality of this activity. In addition, poorly managed meetings can damage relationships between the leader(s) and the team and between team members. The objective of senior management meetings are to inform, discuss, make and confirm support for decisions, and agree continuing support for, or changes to, the strategic direction of the organisation. The role of the leader is to ensure that these meetings are planned and managed effectively, are productive in terms of outcomes, and contribute to maintaining the quality of communications at the senior level.

Create More Romance In Your Life

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Ah, romance, that wonderful and exciting feeling, that most glorious intertwining of two hearts. So intense, such a high, but so fleeting, and so often for so many once gone never to return. But does it have to be that way? Can we intentionally create and sustain more romance in our lives?

Most folks profess to want more romance in their lives. Indeed, for some, romance is a goal unto itself, or at least high on the list of goals for their love relationships.

But if having romance in our committed love relationships is a highly prized goal, and if so many people want more of it in their lives, how can we create, cultivate, and encourage it? What concrete steps can we take to make sure that romance takes seed and flourishes?

The purpose of this article is to explore the idea that romance begins in your heart-center and grows outward, and is, to some significant degree, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself first you can create the conditions that allow you to experience and express romance with another more easily.

Listen: your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others. The same can be said for romance: your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship.

True romance isn’t just about flowers and poems. Flowers and poems are great, of course, but are really just an extension of a feeling that comes from within, something that starts in, and flows from, the heart. Without that heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are but an attempt be to romantic, not an expression of true romance.

So how do you create more romance in your life? Begin by romancing yourself. Love, accept, and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself with respect and understanding. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a poem. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. And remember: if you don’t love yourself first, you can’t truly love another.

And remember that it is far more important to be the right person than to find the right person. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Romance, too, is a reflection of that inner state. By first creating romance within, you’ll be well on your way to creating more romance in your life.

What Is Your Role As A Parent To Help Prevent Drug Abuse?

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The drug called Ecstasy/MDMA is just one of several that children as young as 8th graders are abusing. Ecstasy is a human-made drug taken orally as a capsule or tablet. The short-term effects include feelings of mental stimulation, emotional warmth, enhanced sensory perception, and increased physical energy. Adverse health effects can include nausea, chills, sweating, teeth clenching, muscle cramping, and blurred vision.

If you suspect or find out your child is actually abusing this drug or is involved in any kind of drug abuse what steps can you take to help them overcome the addictions?

A family-based prevention program should include:

1. Enhanced family bonding and relationships;
2. Education for parents to learn parenting skills;
3. Developing, discussing and enforcing family policies on substance abuse;
4. Training in drug education and information.

What is family bonding?

Family bonding is the foundation of the relationship between parents and children. You can strengthen your family bonds through skills training on parent supportiveness of children, parent-child communication, and parental involvement.

One of the cornerstones for drug abuse prevention is parental monitoring and supervision. As a parent you can enhance your parenting skills with drug prevention program training.

Benefits of participating in a drug prevention program are:

Being able to provide consistent rules and discipline for your child;
Ability to talk to your children about drugs;
Techniques of how to monitor your children’s activities;
Techniques of how to get to know your children’s friends;
Techniques of how to understand your children’s problems and concerns;
And becoming involved in their learning.

The importance of this parent-child relationship continues through adolescence and beyond.

Below are some resources to help you find drug prevention programs:

National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)
National Institutes of Health (NIH)
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS)
Center for Substance Abuse Prevention (CSAP)
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), DHHS Phone: 301-443-9110
Centers for Disease Control and

Prevention (CDC), DHHS
Phone: 404-639-3534
Phone: 800-311-3435 (toll-free)

Safe and Drug-Free Schools Program

U.S. Department of Education (DoE)
Phone: 800-872-5327 (toll-free)

Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA)

U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ)
Phone: 202-307-1000

Knowledge Exchange Network, SAMHSA, DHHS

Phone: 800-789-2647 (toll-free)

National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and

Drug Information (NCADI), SAMHSA, DHHS
Phone: 800-729-6686 (toll-free)

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), NIH, DHHS

Phone: 301-443-3860

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), NIH, DHHS

Phone: 301-443-4513

As a parent you need to educate yourself as much as possible about drug abuse, stay in touch with your children’s activities, and listen to their problems and concerns.

This article is FREE to publish with the resource box.

Self-Help Books Instead Of Pills

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According to the US National Committee for Quality Health Assurance, more than 11 million Americans (about 1 in 20) have major depression. Interestingly, only about half of these are still taking medication six months after being diagnosed. If these wonder drugs are so great, why do so many people stop taking them? Could it be that they are not getting the results they want or people are getting fed up with the unwanted side effects?

As no single antidepressant has been shown to be any more effective than any other, the choice of which drug to prescribe is often based on their different side effects! These often include weight gain, headaches, nausea, stomach pain, loss of libido and the list goes on.

All forms of depression affect a person’s thoughts, actions and physical health, and this is a condition that is experienced by an ever growing number in our society.

Fortunately, today, more and more people are turning to other (healthier and less expensive) options to overcome depression (& other debilitating conditions), including relaxation methods, exercise, enjoying music, reading inspiring books, doing their own research to find out what works for them, counselling, and natural medicine.

The habit of taking pills to make oneself feel better – to have more energy, to relax, and to experience a general feeling of well being is now a widely accepted, daily habit/ ritual in many Western countries. The downside is that the underlying condition or reason behind the need or desire for drugs does not change or get better as a result of taking pill, and of course all the unwanted side effects. However, there are alternatives, and the good news is that these options come without negative side effects, and are not habit forming!

The Physical Side

While it is true that conditions in our physical bodies sometimes need prescription drugs, (or natural alternatives) to counteract the effects of imbalance which lead to high levels of stress, organic weaknesses, painful muscles, and even disease, it is also true that there is much that we can do to help ourselves and our bodies feel and work better. Much of this is related to the way we think, the daily choices we make, and the emotions that we regularly experience.

Mental & Emotional Health

As humans it is natural to desire the good things life has to offer: vibrant health, energy, good communication with others, a great job, financial abundance, the home, the car, wonderful vacations, and of course the ideal relationship. However it is difficult to be successful and reach our goals when our mind and emotions are out of balance; when we don’t have clear goals, or a system in place to reach those goals once we clarify them.

Taking Back Control

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” –Walter Bagehot

The first step in gaining control of one’s life, one’s health physical, mental and emotional and one’s destiny is a very simple one… to make the decision to do just that! The good news is that you don’t have to do this on your own; others have trodden the same path, faced the same (or similar) challenges and triumphed; reaching goals they previously thought were only pipe dreams, and living the life they thought was only possible for others who were more privileged, clever or got the right breaks. And many of these individuals then chose to share the methods they found worked best for them, to inspire and genuinely assist others to achieve a much higher level of happiness and success in their lives on every level.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” –Henry David Thoreau

One such person is Genevieve Dawid: international consultant and mentor to both individuals and blue chip corporations. To achieve the wonderful success that she now enjoys today though, Genevieve first had to overcome far more obstacles than the average person born with feet both the wrong way round, orphaned at birth, dyslexic (difficulties in correctly reading and interpreting written words) and dyspraxic (severe difficulty performing tasks requiring fine motor skills such as drawing or writing) and diabetic to name just a few of her challenges.

With a wonderful support system from her adoptive parents, and a true indomitable spirit and inborn highly positive approach to life and all it threw at her, instead of giving up, or resorting to drugs (by far the easier option!) with great persistence, Genevieve overcame her many challenges. Later on she also experienced harassment from some senior executives in response to her dyslexia when working as a consultant in London, the deaths of several close family members, including her own triplets, and the severe depression that followed, which she described “like being down the darkest of holes.” In spite of all this, she always “knew” there was light at the end of the tunnel…

Instead of throwing in the towel she continued to look to the future, learned how to think differently about things, and developed a unique blueprint for going beyond daily obstacles, and most importantly, attracting everything that she wanted to have in life boldly following her dreams.

Now she has the luxury lifestyle she previously only dreamed about; including the man, the car, the houses, the vacations…!

If you have a desire for change, but feel you need some direction and inspiration from someone who is not only highly successful and happy, but truly empathises with your situation; someone who can point you in the right direction and provide tried and tested methods for achieving the lifestyle you really want I invite you to have a look at ‘The Achiever’s Journey,’at www.theachieversjourney.com

A Scientific View Of The Law Of Attraction

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Since the airing of “The Secret”, thousands of people across the globe have come to understand a little about the law of attraction. Tens of thousands of people search the Internet every single day for more information on how to use the law of attraction to get more of the things they want in their lives. Perhaps you are one of them.

But there are also people who have misunderstood the basic premise behind the law of attraction. In truth, the law of attraction is still not fully understood, even by the big teachers. Those who have misunderstood the law of attraction, state that there is no such thing as magic or supernatural things. That is not what the law of attraction is about.

The law of attraction is more along the lines of something called electromagnetic attraction. In physics, this is what holds the planets in our solar system in place. In the mental world, it’s what attracts people to each other, in friendships and romantic relationships.

In your every day life, every thing that enters your experience is there by attraction. You literally attract events, circumstances, people, and things into your experience. It’s more than what you’re consciously thinking and feeling, and it is a conglomeration of the deeper levels of you as well. In fact, you may not be aware of much deeper levels of you that are overriding your conscious awareness.

This is why the law of attraction has been so difficult to grasp and understand. In ancient times, people thought that the sun would go into the ocean at the end of each day. Now we know better than that. We know that it is an illusion due to our frame of reference. The same thing goes for each of our lives. We tend to think that things just happen to us by chance or that perhaps someone or something outside of ourselves is rewarding or punishing us. Many people have strong beliefs around this, and whether they realize it or not, they are responsible for everything that is going on their lives.

In quantum physics, scientists have discovered that the tiniest particles of matter seemed to defy all logic and rules that we have come to know in our physical world. We just couldn’t figure out what was going on there. But then we started to notice that these tiny sub-atomic particles behaved differently when they were being observed. The mere act of observing caused these particles to behave differently. That is significant. It shows that what we think of as being ‘set in stone’ can actually be changed according to our own inner vibration.

Quantum physicists have also discovered that everything in this universe is energy. At our core, you and I are pure vibrating energy. We just interpret certain frequencies as a table, hand, or computer. But in reality, it is nothing but energy. Think about that for a moment…

Law of attraction states that like attracts like. Your frequency, vibration or tune attracts like frequencies and tunes. Although, there is still much to learn about quantum physics and the law of attraction, it is evident that these concepts can be used to overcome limiting beliefs and obstacles.

How to Make People Like You by Being a Good Listener

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The most significant skill to develop is how to be a good listener. Being a good listener doesn’t mean being a shoulder for people to cry on. A good listener is someone who lets the speaker know he/she’s listening. Here’s what being a good listener can do for you:

You get more facts
With good listening skills, you can learn more and get more information. With more information, you also understand the situation better.

You don’t waste time”just listening”
Pretending to listen or barely absorbing any information is just a waste of time. Instead, listen fully and seek more information to make the most use of your time.

You are seen as an intelligent and successful person
By listening fully, the speaker will also appreciate your attention and will see you as an intelligent and successful person. All intelligent and successful people have good listening skills.

You will be caring and likeable
This has been said many times over and over, but it is one of the most important reasons for being a good listener. These traits can create a relationship and bond with the speaker.

Being a good listener requires more than just listening. Here are some expert method to how you can have good listening skills:

Say encouraging words
I’m listening, tell me more, hmm, go on. Those are examples of encouraging words to tell the speaker that you’re listening and you care.

Give your full attention
Look at the speaker’s eye. Do not wander looking at something else, even for a split second. If you get nervous looking at someone, you may look away to an inatimate object as if you’re profoundly thinking about the speaker’s words.

Repeat key words
“7 on Friday. Got that”. Repeat back bits of their words. Don’t make them feel like they’re talking to a doll.

Ask for repetition or clarifiation
For any parts that you dozed off, don’t understand, or think is important, ask them about it. Do not wait till a minute later when you don’t understand anything that he/she is desribing. If there is an important point that requires your interest, ask them to confirm what you heard. For example, “9 on Friday?”.

Ask for their opinion
When the speaker describes something that happened to him/her, ask what he/she felt about. Let the speaKer know that he/she is important and that you care about what he/she is talking about.

Write down notes
I’m not telling you to write down everything they say as if you were attending a class. Write down key points and if you need time to write it down, ask them to pause for a second. Make sure you remember what was being discussed and ask the speaker to resume.

Learn to Be Self- Confident

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Many of us are not satisfied with ourselves, with some particular features of our character or the results of our own deeds. Psychologists refer to such phenomenon as low self esteem. So, why don’t we value ourselves? First of all our self esteem depends on how other people perceive us. We are inclined to base our self esteem on other people’s opinions. It is especially typical of children. Little children are not able to analyze their activity and their confidence depends on adults’ estimation of their behavior. Besides during all our lives we always compare the image of our ideal “ego “with our real “ego”. And if our real “I “is too far form the ideal our self esteem suffers from it. But in most cases thee are no reasons for that, as our ideal image may be too perfect and unreal.

People with low self esteem do not hope for success in their activities and they are more likely to act, just trying to escape from our failures. And even when they attain positive results, they attribute their small victories to external factors (the task was too easy; it was just luck). And the feeling of discontent with themselves is growing dramatically. It is a kind of vicious circle: people cannot achieve success, because they are dissatisfied with themselves and on the other hand, they are dissatisfied with themselves because they have never managed to succeed. We should remember that every success starts with your self confidence, with the belief that you will achieve what you intend to do.

To improve your self confidence I’ll share an efficient exercise with you. You are expected to make a list of positive features of your character (not less than forty). I know that it is not that easy. But you are not limited for time and you may write when you wish to. Once the list is completed, you are to enrich it with new strong points of your nature every day. Soon, you will see that such a person as described in the list surely deserves respect and you will like him/her.

From Basics To Mastery

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For all of us, emotional intelligence encompasses five basic areas of mastery. They are:

– Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions you can live with.

– Being able to manage your emotional life without being hijacked by it — not being paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away by anger.

– Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling your impulses in order to pursue your goals.

– Empathy — reading other people’s emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling.

– Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony – being able to articulate the unspoken pulse of a group, for example.

The scope of these skills means there is indeed room for all of us to learn, grow, and improve. There is a lot to learn here. Learning about emotional intelligence, learning about the tools for energy efficiency; that’s only the beginning. It’s like reading all the books on sailing and small boat sailing. You then have the theory mastered, but you have no hands-on practice. It’s only with practice that we gain mastery of anything. That’s true of our feelings and emotions too!

The scope of these skills means there is indeed room for all of us to learn, grow, and improve. There is a lot to learn here. Learning about emotional intelligence, learning about the tools for energy efficiency; that’s only the beginning. It’s like reading all the books on sailing and small boat sailing. You then have the theory mastered, but you have no hands-on practice. It’s only with practice that we gain mastery of anything. That’s true of our feelings and emotions too!

How do you address so many broad areas?

– Assessment tools are a great way to learn to identify your emotions

– Energy efficiency tools are invaluable in helping you tap into inner wisdom and resources to manage your emotions and understand what the best choices are when you are making life decisions.

– Persistence can be learned. In fact, providing challenges and hardships to children, to give them an opportunity to develop persistence and stick-to-itiveness, is intrinsic in many cultures. Goal-setting and the 6 Most- Important-Things List are just two tools you can apply immediately.

– Developing empathy is powerful in critical business situations like a sales call, a closing, your management style, etc. Using your energy efficiency tools will allow you to pay attention to your instincts in this area instead of second-guessing yourself.

– Once you learn to be the manager of your feelings, it becomes an easy habit to apply in any business or personal relationship.

Mastery of all the basics does not occur overnight. But with practice it comes very quickly – just like learning to ride a bicycle. Once you experience how it’s ‘supposed to work’, how energy efficiency is ‘supposed to feel’, it’s easier and easier to reestablish in a variety of circumstances. That’s where mastery is achieved. That’s where you and everyone in your business benefit from your mastery.