I was boggled as to what exactly I wanted to share with my article lovers tonight. I had a plan, then one of my members commented in my self esteem website. Well, in short, my mind would not let her comment rest. It was a sentence regarding, “CONTROL”. Here it is:

“If I can’t trust my spouse to keep their sexual promise to me why am I in this relationship? I don’t ever want to “control” another person’s life. I choose to believe in the promise until prove otherwise. Positive attracts positive.”

My first thought was,”WOW”! Does one really feel that they are controlling their mate?

How does wanting them to just be with you, become a control factor?

How does your wanting to be just the one, become a control factor?

How does not wanting them to look, or talk personally to another person, become a control factor?

How does making them feel like you are suppose to be the only thing on their minds, become a control factor?

How does checking their phone logs, or their computer logs, become a control factor?

Is wondering what they are doing at every minute, a control factor?

Is questioning them on their every move, a control factor?

Is going through their pockets, looking for anything that might lead you to believe they are breaching their commitment to you, a control factor?

Is deleting messages, they may receive on their computer, a control factor?

Is asking their friends about a certain night out, a control factor?

Is tasting them with a kiss when they have been out, a control factor?

Hmmmm, how many of these questions, or worries, have you been guilty of?

I really have to wonder who it is, that is being controlled with these jealous worries? You or them?

I totally feel that jealousy is controlling you; if you can say yes to half of these questions, it is controlling you in a very, very destructive way. You are becoming caught in a vicious circle. You will search, and through that search you are allowing yourself to be controlled each time you apply any of the above thoughts or actions.

It’s one of those “you are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don’t” situations. To not question and search, you are left to trust and have faith and believe in your relationship. Trust is a hard thing to do when you allow weakness to control your thoughts. To become skeptical with your heart is a very long, lonely journey to nowhere. You have to allow your mind to rest and trust the one you have chosen to give your heart to. Yes it is risky, but that’s what love is. Trust, believe, do not control, and most of all feel like you are that special person they chose as a life partner.

There are going to be times when your partner will be involved with someone that may feel threatening to you. This is when your partner will know the line. They will know to keep their personals in tact. They will know that to cross that line will only set your relationship up for complication. Another good point that was made by a member of my website was this:

“Most of us at some point are sexually attracted to someone other than our spouse but, it’s whether or not we act on that attraction that defines our relationship.”

AND

“I have to ask myself though…is it reasonable to control my significant others’ friendships, “just in case” they develop a sexual attraction?”

This is when the line has to be drawn by both parties. “To be human is to error”. I know that sounds like an excuse to fail another. It may be in some instances and it may not be in others. There are so many situations in life, that I can only generalize.

Again, “CONTROL” is the word that comes to mind here. The control mentioned above, is of oneself again, but in a positive way. We choose to control that moment of lust or interest; there are many words for it. The choice of control is really what matters in a relationship.

The worry of “What if”, will always be hovering. This is where our true commitment lies. It is through belief and trust. Is it not sweeter to feel good about the,”US” in our lives? Is it not finer to feel that we can control the negative thoughts and only allow positive thoughts rule our actions? Well then take a positive, “CONTROL” on your thoughts.

Let your love guide you. Let your love show you the way to a life of smiles and happiness. Oh and HUGGZ. You all know I am big on those. Huggz are a very nice way to control ones body. It can send messages from one to another in the most pleasant way. So, why I ask, is that not something you would do every second you can? It’s like someone saying, “OK, you can eat as much of your favorite food as you want and never gain a single pound”. HA, like as if we would not all take advantage of that in this world of restaurants at every foot of the road, that are full every day . Think about that people.

So, my question for you to think on tonight is,” Do you want to be controlled by you, or do you want to control, you? I will leave you with that thought to ponder and a couple more… HUGGZZZZZZZ plz!!

If you CONTROL your thoughts,

(your feelings come from your

thoughts) then you control your feelings!

********************

You can’t control

what goes on outside,

but you can always control

what goes on inside!

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- [email protected]

One of the biggest challenges that most people face in the exiting times we live in, is the feeling that their lives are just spiralling out of control. They feel like the events and circumstances of their lives have lead them along a torturous route and that they have no control over all the misfortunes and wrong doings that brought them to this moment in time.

The truth is that your life will not change until and unless you assume full responsibility for it. Responsibility, or your ability to respond, is not a way of accepting some form of blame as most people think, but rather a way of accepting your ability to respond to any situation. It is absolutely critical to realize and accept that it is never the actual events of your life but only your responses to these events that will shape and create your life. You are never the creature of circumstances and you have the ultimate ability to consciously decide what things mean and how to respond to it. You are the only one that can and the only one that will take you where you want to go in your life.

Responsibility is not some skill you need to go and find outside of yourself but it is something you already possess. All you need to do is to assume this power that calls on you to stop blaming any and everything other than yourself. Most of us have been conditioned to blame someone else for the parts of our lives that don’t work. When you take full responsibility for your life you put yourself back in charge; you get back in behind the wheel of your life and now you have the ability to control and direct your life the way you choose to. Ultimately it is not the conditions of your life but rather the decisions about what things mean and what you are going to do about it that will create the real conditions of your life.

When you are fully responsible you recognize that you are the creator of your life. At some level you were responsible. If not by your conscious actions, then by the meanings and emotions you attached to the events and experiences. Only when you accept responsibility for creating everything in your life can you start to un-create and re-create it the way you truly want. If you keep blaming someone or something else you will remain bound because you will always rely on something or someone else to be responsible for the way you feel and ultimately someone else will be responsible for the state of your life. You have to consciously unfold your arms, get out of the back seat and get back behind the wheel and start directing your life towards where you want it to go, instead of just going with the flow.

See, there are only two real choices in life, the one conscious and the other unconscious: you can either choose to be directed by the events and circumstances of life and let the river of life take you wherever it’s going or you can have both your hands on the steering wheel and decide that you are in full control. You get to decide where you go. Although you can’t control all the events of your life, you can always decide what the events mean to you and how you are going to respond. Whenever anything happens to you, you have to respond to it in order to create the outcome. Most people have fallen into the cultural hypnosis that just passes the responsibility on to someone else. This is why their lives feel out of control, because it is. They have not taken responsibility.

You create your world. When you assume your responsibility you are in charge and this is an internal shift in your thinking and behaviour. Your psychology is not just a big part of your life but it is “everything.” Winning and loosing in life is an internal game. By learning to control and direct your mind you get to choose what things mean and therefore you get to choose your response, also known as your responsibility. No one can ever give you responsibility. It is an internal process and a switch that only you can turn on or off.

Being fully responsible doesn’t mean you live in blame and self pity. It means that you live life from a place of power where you know that on some level you are fully responsible for what happened and you will be responsible for everything that is to come. Be careful how you utilize your past experiences. With responsibility comes a new emotional territory that reinvents your past. You want to use your past as a place to learn from and a place to pull pleasure from. Right, wrong or indifferent, there is a gift in there somewhere. You just need to find it. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood you have the ability (and response-ability) to find an empowering meaning in whatever life gives you.

Responsibility means that you are in charge. You call the shots. Nobody and nothing is in control and to blame other than you. This is how you turn problems into opportunities and how an ordinary life becomes extraordinary. Helen Keller, who was both blind and deaf, said that life is either a daring adventure or nothing. What is it going to be for you? You can either let the environment steer your life or you can get behind the wheel and take responsibility for every aspect of your life. Life is one amazing adventure, but only if you perceive it as that. By being responsible you can take yourself anywhere you want to go because you are the only one who gets to steer your ship and direct the course. You can’t control the wind but you can most certainly direct your sails.

Let us start our search for happiness from the very beginning. That is from the beginning of the universe.

The most plausible and widely accepted theory of the creation of the universe is the “Big Bang” theory of creation. According to it, the universe is created from an explosion in the super condensed material and consequent expansion of material. However, even if all the conditions for the creation of the universe were right at the beginning, many factors had to be right for the consequent formation of the universe. For example:

Our universe is expanding like a polka dotted balloon which is being blown out. Each dot (representing a star or a galaxy) on it is distancing itself from each other. Now, if the rate of expansion of the newly created universe had differed even very minutely from what it were actually, there would have been no universe. A little slower and the cosmos would have collapsed back, a little faster and the cosmic material would have long ago completely dispersed.

If the density of the universe were a little more, the universe would not be expanding but, due to the force of attraction of atomic particles, contracting, ultimately collapsing. If the initial density were a little bit less, then the universe would be expanding far rapidly than now and no stars and no galaxies would ever have formed.

Both the mass and the volume of a proton are incomparably larger than those of an electron; but strangely enough, these two particles have equal (though opposite) electrical charges. Because of this fact atoms are electrically neutral. If the atom was not neutral electrically, each atom would repel the other and the entire universe would explode.

The four fundamental forces in the nature, in decreasing order of intensity, are Strong nuclear force, Weak nuclear force, Electromagnetic force, and Gravitational force. The difference between the strongest and the weakest is about 25 followed by 38 zeroes. Still within that great range the individual and the comparative magnitudes of the forces are delicately balanced otherwise the universe would not have existed.

If the creation of the sustained universe was a miracle, the evolution of life on it was also the same:

Had our sun been 30% larger it would have been burnt out in four billion years, too short a time for intelligent life to evolve. Had it been smaller 95% of stars are smaller than the sun other difficulties would have followed. Similarly, had the sun not been a source of steady energy for billions of years, had the orbit of earth around sun been a bit narrower or wider, had planet Jupiter been too close or too far to save earth from the rain of steroids, had moon not been so improbably large to stabilize the tilt of the Earth’s axis to around 23 degrees, had the solar system’s position in the galaxy been too near the edge or too close to the middle, advanced form of life would have been impossible.

Carbon based molecules can only survive between the limits of 120

The alcohol and drug problem in this country is huge and most of the standard addiction recovery and treatment programs aren’t working. Consider the following

CRIME: 25% of all prison inmates are there for drug related crimes. 16.4% are in prison for committing crimes to get money for drugs. 47% of crimes were committed while a person was on drugs or alcohol.

SEX: A lot of the sex outside of marriage wouldn’t happen if it weren’t for alcohol or drugs being used to try to drown out guilt and fear (which are nature’s feedback to try to stop us from doing something against its perfect order). And nature does other harsh things to try to stop sex outside of marriage. USA Today reported that shockingly, 1/2 of everyone under 25 years old in the United States has had an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease). The U.S. Dept. of Health reports that there are 1.1 million current cases of AIDS/HIV in the United States. (So obviously, it needs to be recognized that nature is hostile towards sex outside of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage, which is the only sexual setting that nature doesn’t try to stop via harsh consequences). 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare, costing this country $7 billion annually. And a University of Georgia study reports that of those individuals who experienced unwanted sexual intercourse in the last year, 92.1% had been under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

ACCIDENTS: Alcohol is involved in 50% of all driving fatalities. In the United States, every 30 minutes someone is killed in an alcohol or alcoholism related traffic accident. That amounted to 17,488 people last year alone.

MENTAL ILLNESS: Fifty percent of the mentally ill population has a substance abuse problem. In fact, 22 million Americans suffer from substance dependence or abuse due to drugs, alcohol or both, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

EMOTIONAL HEALTH: The general emotional health of the public is very poor, as is evidenced by the high divorce rate and a teen suicide rate that is higher than the other 26 industrialized nations combined. Other indicators of the general state of the heart of America come from its entertainment industries: the shocking and harsh experiences in the movies, the rampant dysfunction on television, and the high percent of bad feelings (and the big void of good feelings) that come out of the music industry.

Now that’s the bad news. The good news is that there is a solution to all of this. That solution starts with understanding what the basic problem is. The basic problem behind alcoholism and drug abuse is that people aren’t finding happiness and fulfillment naturally. So then they attempt to achieve happiness and fulfillment (or escape their unhappiness and emptiness) by using alcohol or drugs. But those bandaids usually end up leading to a lot more unhappiness, health problems, financial problems, relationship breakups, legal problems, etc. A lot of hidden damage is done while in a stolen euphoria. But obviously those risks aren’t enough to outweigh the problems in a person’s emotional state or the lacking in their life that cause them to overlook the risks and dangers of alcohol and drug use.

So then, WHY are people so unhappy or unfulfilled that they would make that choice? The answer is simple: they are not operating in harmony with the natural design of their being. It starts with the fact that if a person has his or her natural drives unsatisfied for more than a normal period of time while searching for satisfaction, over time the frustration and lack of hope from this can cause them to become more dulled and depressed and even sleepy and prone to drugs to try to make his or her self feel good and not feel bad.

But, the good news is that the continual unnaturalness that led to this bad state can be reversed. And the process that will awaken them, enliven them and make them even feel good and excited about their life. The reason is that they are given hope that there is a real solution for their problems…and then they actually get satisfaction by carrying out that solution.

Teaching a person how to be happy naturally and in harmony with the real design, meaning and purpose of their life is the key to how they get the strength, joy and deep fulfillment that is necessary for them to have no inclination for alcohol or drugs. But, that’s easier said than done, and can only happen within THE natural design of how we were made to be. That means first knowing what that design is. That can be a difficult thing to do in this world because there is a great amount of debate and disagreement as to what that design really is. But ‘the world’ in general, obviously has it wrong if there exists such a huge drug and alcohol problem and poor social statistics.

Having been in the top echelons of the music business as a former member of Sly & The Family Stone and The Elvin Bishop Group, I know alcohol and drug abuse well. But after experimenting with 22 approaches to lifestyle and personal growth, I became free from alcohol and drugs 24 years ago (after 18 years of use). I finally realized that fighting nature is not a battle that anyone can win and be happy. Therefore why even try?

Understanding and flowing with the natural order is how to make inner, outer and social life work at their best. But like I said, that is a task that is easier said than done, given that the mainstream culture in general is not in harmony with the natural order and is tolerant of a lot of dysfunction. Therefore, if a person wants to be free from a weakness for alcohol or drugs, they will have to go through a re-orientation of how the mind, heart and body are designed to function, and they will have to know how to have the strength and vision to transform into that design. My self-help Addiction Free Forever program shows how to do all of those things.

Five-time gold medal-winning figure skater, Jenny Kilmer, has won the women’s Olympics since she was 16. At 36, she is attempting to win her sixth straight gold medal. Kilmer has been blessed to have such fame and fortune with sporting equipment endorsements and TV contracts. She has gotten everything that he has set out to get, except for one thing: love.

Love is what has been eluding her. She has had many relationships, but none that have transpired into anything beyond just a relationship. Her latest relationship with Scott seemed to be destined to the same scenario.

Since two years old, Jenny’s life has been all about skating. Her intensive training has obviously paid off professionally because of her gold medals, but personally, even her trainer, Yon, cannot stand to be around her. It was five days until the Women’s Olympic medal competition.

Yon asked her, “Do you think that you’re gonna find that special guy like that girl did in that movie, ‘The Cutting Edge?'” he said in his Russian accent. “You are ten times the spoiled brat that she was.” “Absolutely,” said Jen. “I’m Jenny Kilmer. America’s Sweetheart. Every man wants me.” “Until they get to know you,” Yon retorted. “But they get together in the end.” “Actors get together in the end, not skaters!” “Whatever, Yon.” “You know I am right. Scott is on to you like the others. You don’t need anybody. No one is gonna tell the great Jenny Kilmer what to do! What has it cost you?” “Allright, allright, Yon.” “Have you not learned anything about love since we’ve been working together? Since you were 16? When it comes to love, you still talk like a 16-year old. Your mother and your father are at their rope’s end with you. Your agents put up with you because you make them money.” “Why are you still here, Yon? You can coach anyone you want. You’ve got your five gold’s with me. What’s keeping you here?” “I want to see you come full circle. You’ve got nothing more to prove in skaing. The pressure is totally off of you in this Olympics. I am partly to blame for you being the way that you are. I have pushed you too much for too long.” “So, what are you saying?” “I have made my dreams into your dreams and I am sorry. I want you to win the Gold Medal…in love.” “But, why are you saying this now? After all this time?” “Scott loves you with all of his heart. Do you remember when you broke your ankle two years ago at the Nationals when you tried the quadruple lutz? He went on to the ice and carried you off. He doesn’t care about your skating. He cares about you! He cancelled a multimillion-dollar building project to be with you for two weeks after your injury. He lost dollars after dollars for his company, got demoted and risked getting fired for you. He slept in the chair in your hospital room for two weeks! That’s love! Scott is one of the greatest things to ever happen to you and you cannot see this. You are headed to becoming a bitter old maid! You’ve got another half-hour till practice is over. Skating- it’s what you’re best at. Go on!”

For one of the first times in her 36 years, Jen Kilmer was silenced, but not without tears of sadness and despair. She could not stop crying…even after practice ended.

The next day, Kilmer fell time after time attempting to do a quadruple lutz. Very few skaters have ever successfully done the quad lutz.

Yon coached Kilmer, “You are not falling because you don’t know how to do the quad lutz. You are falling because Scott has not called in a week.” “What else am I gonna do, Yon?” Kilmer asked. “Call him again and apologize to him for real this time. At least you’ll know you’ve tried. If you don’t see him again, so be it.”

The day of the Women’s medal event arrived. Several of Kilmer’s competitors had subpar performances, which eased the pressure even more for her. Still…her pressure was not on the ice. She could probably do a very safe program and still win the gold.

Jenny and Yon were in the locker room. Kilmer was stretching as part of her warmup routine. She spoke apathetically to Yon. “Scott’s not gonna show, Yon. I’ve pushed him away like all the other guys before him. I’ve been the biggest bitch to him. He put up with so much of my crap. I won’t be able to show any of my children my gold medals because there won’t be any husband to start a family,” she said confessingly as she started to cry. ” I AM gonna be a bitter old skating commentator for some TV network and I’ll smile my typical smile and show to the world that Jen Kilmer is the happiest woman in the world. I’m such a phony.”

Kilmer’s name was announced on the public address, which meant that it was time for her two-minute warmup before her program.

Kilmer skated gracefully and confidently as usual. She was a skating legend. In her mind, she was just going through the motions. She nailed some practice double and triple lutzes, which she could do in her sleep.

As she skated toward her coach, she formed a puzzled look on her face. Yon was smiling and laughing next to a man who had his back turned to her. Jenny braked and as the man who was laughing with Yon turned around.

“Scott,” Jenny said straining to say his name. She was finally able to get her breath. “Why? Why are you here? I thought I lost you.” “That’s what Yon thought too until I called him,” said Scott. “You called Yon, but you didn’t call me?” “Don’t push it.” I love you, Scott,” she said. “Thank you for being with me after I broke my ankle. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve treated you like crap. Like I told you on your message-phone, I am so sorry.” “All is forgiven, my dear. You can thank Yon for it.” Kilmer smiled at her coach. “I’m doing the quad lutz. And I’m gonna nail it!” “Are you insane? If you wanna win a sixth gold, don’t go for the quadruple lutz! You were lucky four years ago, but remember what you did last year in the Nationals? You fell flat on your ass!” Yon reminded her. “I’m gonna have fun this time, Yon. For the first time in the Olympics, I’m gonna have fun because I finally got everything that I’ve wanted. This is it. After this skate, I’m done. I’ve won the gold this year.” Yon nodded his head with approval and a slight smile. Scott had a puzzled look on his face. “You haven’t skated yet.” “Oh yes I DO HAVE the gold,” she took Scott in her arms. “He’s right here and I’m never gonna let him go,” she sniffled. “I have five gold medals. Now I want some babies. Will you marry me?” “Yes!” said Scott surprised. “I love you, Jen with every bone in my body.”

Scott and Jenny kissed passionately as a couple of Olympic officials walked up to Yon to let him know that his skater was next. When they were done kissing, Yon tapped Jen on the shoulder. “Well then,” said Yon, “You’ve got one more skating duty. As you said, have fun.” He smiled widely. As her named was announced, Kilmer skated onto the ice with the biggest grin she ever had on her face. The crowd’s applause had never been louder for America’s Sweetheart. Kilmer could not hold back the tears of joy. She knew it was her last skate. Jenny Kilmer had won the gold even before her program. She won the gold medal in love.

Waking up as a little boy the excitement for the day’s adventure pumped through my veins and lit up my eyes. I’d look out the window at the bright sunshine, the hay fields, and the expansive blue skies and magical clouds. Once out in the freedom of the day, with no responsibilities, I’d hop, skip, jump, and run with joy, wonder, and excitement. Somewhere along the way, I began to remember and learned about cause and effect. Suddenly some limitations came into existence. Continuing to grow and mature, I learned to reason and apply my own critical thinking to situations that may or may not happen. I was creating a new reality within the context of my mind and my past experiences. The horror!

Now, with another level of awareness that has developed, the spiritual awareness, it’s like walking the tight rope between this world we live and work in, and the uninhibited freedom of a child at play. There is something more to this experience of life. We are not just conditioned beasts of labour and love. We are not just confined to living a life sentence in suburbia. There is, and always was, so much more available to us. It exists everywhere, including suburbia, at work, in the mundane, at the most extraordinary and ordinary. The only way I can explain the discovery is to dance.

One day hopeful, the other day destitute, one day in love, the next day hateful, one moment playful, the next moment serious, and one day success, the next day failure. We’re constantly moving and changing. The only constant is the silence, the stillness, the quiet place deep inside where spirit connects spirit. We feel it in the closest moments of intimacy with family or significant others. It is experienced in the greatest profound moment of joy and all words, all senses, all comprehension has escaped us. There is nothing left to figure out, there is only to forget.

Everyday we would do well to forget many of the happenings of our yesterday. No bias, no fear, no limitations, no expectations, just wonder. Wonder and curiosity accompanied by joy and love. This intrigues me greatly. How would tomorrow look? How would my world interact? This ideal leads me to believe that more is available for all of us. As an idealist, many things I say may seem unattainable. This is the peak possibility, of that there is no doubt. While the ideal is beautiful, any measure or occurrence of that ideal is welcome. A grain of salt to flavor each day for a fantastic experience of life. Each day, I need to be that grain of salt too, and dance!

Human beings first used natural colors centuries ago. During those times synthetic colors were not available. Flowers were the main source of color. This article does not intend to go into how the colors were extracted and so on, but how colors of flowers can make our life a better living experience. Let us examine.

Look at flowers. You will find a range of colors -from purest white to black. Some flowers are single colored while many have colors so beautifully mixed that no painter can do something similar. The first observation we can make is – all colors look good on flowers. We may hate a color, for example you may dislike yellow. But if you pick up a yellow colored flower, you may not dislike it. Why? Because the color merges so well with the structure and texture of the flower that it does not remain separate but merges totally in the flower. I hope I am making myself clear. What I mean to say that even if you hold a yellow colored flower, you will not be noticing only the color, but the touch, the shape, the fragrance and the symmetry of the flower. Color has merged itself with other qualities to create something beautiful. Is this making sense?

I have been talking about the colors. But I could have been as well talking about any other quality of the flower. My contention is simple. If a quality does not overpower other qualities but merges with them the result can be great. We as human beings can do the same – as the members of a family, a team or a part of business group or as citizens of our nation. Instead of overpowering others with our qualities, if we try to merge and create a whole, the outcome will always be much better. The focus is to dissolve one’s individual ego and work together in tandem.

Welcome to the bridge of Manifest life. Don’ t let any situation take the control. You are the second master of the game, under the universe master law, what you think is what you get. Can that be possible?
Yes it can be, you got to be in a manifesting state, your mind, your body is one, not two.
The flow of energy that is rotating in the universe can break you if you are not going in the right direction. You must follow the law of the universe, and be happy. Do not worry about what is happening, but accept it and act toward a positive trend if it can be done, but never stay without acting when the bad situation, the non lucky time frame is falling on you, this is definitivly a law of the universe, and it will happen again and again, you got to do something, but the thing that will put you on the right track…

You must understand that; be careful, the universe can’ t be redirected, rather you should follow the same direction, and profit from the tremendous flow of vital energy coming from the six directions.
Good force are there, but you must know how to avoid the bad forces. Although the positive forces are stronger, it is easy to fall in the wrong wave, and quite difficult to focus and stay on the right way.
So how can you be positive all the time, you think: nobody can do that.
No, a lot of people do it, what is the difference between them?
Two kind of people: The sleeping, and the awake.
It is not the real sleep here, you should understand what the sleeper is: in fact, he is awake like everybody, so why is he a sleeper?

Just look around you, and try to find out: is that man awake or he is a sleeper? Do that exercise, and you will be astonished with the results, you will be able to feel people, to feel the energy, like you feel the wind touch on your skin…
He is a sleeper because he can’ t control, he doesn’ t see… Everyday, he wakes up like every people in this world(law of the universe, nobody can change it), however, he is not satisfied with his life, it is just a matter of doing things because they got to be done, because everybody is doing that…
The sleeper act, eat, do everything without vitality, without energy, without love, without passion, he is a sleeper, his life is empty.
Worst he doesn ‘t know what is life…
We will complete the sleeping case, and start with the awake, the enlighten case…

Enlightening PERSPECTIVES on conflict resolution have been inspired in me by sacred animals, Jessie Justin Joy , the feline teacher and dolphins. Does peace ever occur in the outer or is the idea of “peace” the ego’s way of saying, my way? Perhaps peace has been here now eternally and is simply waiting for us to dissolve back into her-his arms in all circumstances.”

I lived in an apartment by the ocean for many years and often came home to a party of cats. Jessie the feline was very social and while I was away, cats would come in the cat door and hold gatherings with each other. I enjoyed the way the cats breathed in rhythm with the near by ocean. All immersed in unique and personal life tasks, each dreaming up a unique perspective, individually encountering different levels of evolution, the cats could sit comfortably together in harmony.

Years later I was holding Unconditional Awakening Seminars as a therapist. I put a vase of flowers in the middle of the circle. If we each took a photograph of the flowers from where we sat, using the best of equipment, we would each have a different picture…all correct pictures…all lovely pictures. Can humans sit in circle and celebrate each others’ individual perspectives without needing any of them to be right or wrong?

Humans may have trouble with simply witnessing each other in the awareness that there is room for each of us and that each of us is here now to be unique. The most harmonic sound I ever heard was many birds all chirping at once. Many species of birds sang in dissonance but in the dissonance was a harmony. In higher frequency awareness so it is with humans. Each in our own learning process, engaged in our soul purpose we emit a note. All the notes together are one beautiful chorus in the 13th realm.

Each animal, human and nature being is a Divine spark of One LOVE! When I asked everyone at the Unconditional Awakening Seminar to express gratitude the room jumped up to a very high frequency and everyone realized they loved each other by design! People practiced hearing and being aware of each other as gifts instead of advising, changing and trying to alter each other. That altering technique often used in conversation, is a technique of the mind, to get everyone to replicate the mind in one being. A more sure & pleasurable route to security and happiness is to choose to turn whatever you find inside your heart back into peace within yourself. Offer up a need for anyone to be any way and suddenly, all there is to experience is LOVE. All beings are gifts. The beings that appear to cause you distress are great blessings for they give you the opportunity to find deeper peace within, based only on PEACE itself. Turn your thoughts, your physical experience and your entire energy filed back into peace. Soon you find your body is a friend to your spirit, a devoted servant available for great peace and bliss. Next you find that your spirit is simply a devotee to the ONE SOUL LOVE: ALL THAT IS!

When in conflict with a loved one, a country, a religious order, your ,mind, a neighbor, your body or a professional colleague take these steps.

1) Focus on gratitude in your heart
2) Choose to BE JOY!
3) In place of a complaint, identify your request.
4) Identify what you essentially desire in one word (example: resolution, joy, peace, love, abundance, health). Most likely, you and your opponent desire the same thing but assume that the thing has to come in different ways.
5) Allow your essential desire to be more important that the form in which you first thought it would need to appear. The universe has a plethora of ways to create what it is you seek.
6) Assume your conflict mate has appeared to give you an opportunity to be peace instead of impose your mind’s idea of peace and this blessing of grace can potentially liberate you.

Notice how the dolphins may play and cats’ may choose breathe together in all circumstances. As a dove, Jonah, once told me, “It’s easy.” To create peace, be peace.

What is Perfectionism? Perfectionism is defined as a meticulous drive to attain excellence. A perfectionist is one who has this characteristic.

‘Perfectionism’ is a most prevalent belief in our civilization. Notice that I used the word ‘belief’.

Everywhere in this world of ours, perfectionism is regarded as good and desirable while imperfection is deem as bad or negative. Everybody wants everybody else to be perfect. Bosses want their employees to be flawless on the job. Parents want their kids to be the best. Perfectionists want their work and themselves to be perfect.

Since it is so strongly regarded as being positive, is Perfectionism really an absolute or universal value? In my opinion, it is not so.
To me, it is relative and is born of human conception. Perfection is an idea. It is an idea of a perceived ideal state of affair. However, things are the way they are. For every circumstances, the truth is what is at each instance. Perfection and imperfection are therefore merely attached values.

I am not suggesting that perfectionism is not good. I am suggesting that perhaps perfectionism can cast a controlling net over our expression of happiness. One can reach the required goal with or without being a perfectionist. To be a perfectionist, on the other hand, leave very little room for one to accept and love oneself unconditionally when a desired goal is not met. And when our desires are not met, we feel unhappy or cannot be fully satisfied. However, the truth is we only have each moment of the Present Moment to live in. By being perfectionist, our mind will be forever planning and thinking about the future or lamenting about what went wrong in the past. Because of these tendencies, many perfectionists are unable to feel satisfaction because in their perception they never seem to do things good enough to warrant that feeling of contentment.

From this, we can see a paradox of life. That is:

“How can one have perfect peace, self-love and joy when one is a perfectionist? “

Thank you for reading.