We lose our love for those who want to control, suppress or use us when we believe that:

a. Others want to control me.
b. I must do what others want in order to have their love and be safe.
c. I am in danger if I do not do what others want.
d. I cannot love someone who does not do what I want and thus others will not love me if I do not do what they want.
e. I am the victim.
f. I will not be a good person if I say no.
g. I am weak and cannot protect myself.
h. …

I’ll admit it. I cry at movies sometimes. I’m comfortable with it and not ashamed in the least. Movies are stories and stories have been used to elicit emotions (either by design or accident) since the beginning of man. Some of the most fantastic stories are tremendously moving. This emotion can be manifested as a ‘feel good’ or a ‘tear jerker’, it can be uplifting or depressing, revolutionary, or merely entertaining. The most important thing to keep upper most in your mind a…

Effective communication is a vital tool for successful leadership. Being able to articulate clearly, to present and share ideas with others is extremely important. All too often listening becomes the poor relation everyone is busy talking but true communication does not take place unless each stake holder is listening activelty too.

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Why do we lose our love when others are behaving egotistically? What is the danger for us? We might answer that it is natural not to love an egotistical person. But what is our danger here? Are we losing self-worth, security, freedom, control or pleasure? Perhaps we are offended by our own egotism that reflects in the others’ behavior?

If the others were five years old, would we be offended and outraged by their egotistical behavior? Or would we continue to love them, whil…

A surprise attack is one of the hardest conflicts to handle. It’s a shock to the system. Often the first reaction (after your heartbeat returns to normal) is to blame the other person or to blame yourself and to get caught in endless internal dialogue about who’s at fault and what to do next.

In our society the default answer to nearly every question is “Yes.” Advertising is all geared towards getting us to say “Yes – I need that.” We phrase our inquiries looking for yes: “Would you like more coffee?” “Would you be interested in joining me for dinner?” “Would you help me move next week?” “Would you mind if I asked you a personal question?” “Do you love me?” With such a powerful default answer ingrained in us it can be very difficult to say anything else – often le…

For people who have been abandoned, either literally by actual physical absence, or emotionally a parent can be in the home and not there for us the abandoned child syndrome may remain years later, showing up through insecurities and fears, clinging behaviors or its opposite walls to intimacy.

If you’re in the world of sales, it is quite likely you have gone through traditional sales training and learned that there is ‘a way’ or maybe ‘one way’ to sell. Maybe it was the Carnegie method. Maybe you learned ‘features and benefits’. Maybe you learned some other easily definable, package-able way to sell to affluent clients or prospects which sort of hammers away at their defenses and attempts to corner them into buying your product or services. These techniques are res…

Here is a description of what people want in a leader. How do you compare?