Chances are it is because you want something which you do not have, objects or conditions. This is probably not a good enough reason and a review of your situation and perceptions may be in order.

You may have seen video of children in very poor countries laughing and playing, unconcerned that they should have more to be happy about. They are happy because they are playing, because they have their friends and family, and some food to eat that day. Everyone has the right to be happy, and if they can be in their situation, shouldn’t you?

“Happiness consists more in small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.” – Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

Happiness is inside us, in our minds, in our thinking. It is not external material things or experiences, but the enjoyment of our thoughts and feelings. This is good because our thoughts, and therefore our happiness, are up to us.

Start by reviewing the things that you have to be happy about and dwell on these. Don’t overlook the little or basic things that you take for granted.

Make a habit of substituting unhappy thoughts with happy thoughts. Whenever an unfavorable picture enters your mind, eject it and replace it with a pleasant one. We all have some nice experiences to recollect and there are usually little pleasures around us most of the time. You can even imagine enjoyable experiences, and it will have a similar positive effect.

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)

Establish good principles and conduct yourself according to these principles. Love, or at least be tolerant of, your fellow humans. Don’t strive too hard for that which, in the end, will not make you happier.

“Why are we here?”

“What is our purpose?”

“Does the world follow some rhyme or reason?”

And check out the great books and authors that elaborated on the idea: Summa Theologica, The Egyptian Book of the Dead, The ‘Quoran, The Bible, Jean Paul Sarte, Socrates, Paulo Cohello, Donald Trump.

Okay, I arbitarily inserted up that last name.

But seriously. You never realized you were in the company of such eminence! Give yourself a pat on the back, Mr. Philosopher.

Stop, and consider how, after all that rheotoric, prose, and giddy exhortation, few of these dissertations truly arrived at some enlightening, jaw dropping Meaning of Life that literally gave you the golden answer to your personal existence. (people still keep searching!)

And Life, well… life just kept lifing along. nu ni nu ni nu

Step outside for a moment. Just humor me on this.

What do you see. Really drink in the detail now.

Okay. There’s a car passing by. Or maybe a tree with some bird poop on it. A cat (hopefully white) passing the street. Oh look! A dog spilling your garbage for you to clean up later!

What did they have in common?

Nothing.

Check again.

Okay… Nothing. Just a bunch of disjointed events.

But one of you might say, “ah I disagree. What I saw was a spirited sports car driver showing off to his girlfriend and experiencing a thrill burning gas and polluting the environment.”

Ah. Sounds like you just gave meaning to some meaningless event.

Or another would say “Man, that dog is out to get me. He spills trash everyday so I have to clean it up”

Oho! Looks like you colored some other event with yet more meaning.

What am I driving at?

Brace yourself.

Here’s the cold hard truth: every event on this planet is meaningless.

Got that?

Life is meaningless. In fact, life has no purpose, no rhyme, no reason. Your life, my life, everyone’s life is empty and meaningless- a void existence formed from an infinite strand of disjointed events that branches out into infinite possibilities based on decisions made every moment.

Squirming? Hear me out.

Take yourself out of the Life equation. Just blink out of existence. Stop. Ponder this: do you think Existence, Destiny, The Universe would suddenly weep and grind to a halt? No way! Life just goes on….. lifing along.

This is the meaning to life: that LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. With or without us, reality endures. But what gives all this some iota of value is that we give it significance. We give it subjective meaning.

You, I and everyone are simply Meaning-Making-Machines that ascribe meaning to what we observe around us.

Got that? Life is empty and meaningless AND everyone is a Meaning Making Machine. That’s the ultimate formula to life.

There is no meaning to the car rushing down the road, to the ferry crossing the channel, to the rocket landing on the moon, to George Bush taking a dump on the royal throne.

There is no inherent meaning to your trudging to work, eking out a living, raising a kid and throwing dishes at your spouse.

These are all events. Random events with no inherent meaning.

I bet you want to strangle me now. Or jump a bridge. After all, if life has no meaning, what’s the point of suffering through it (ah! another meaning)

But let me finish. Put away that .45

So… what’s the point to all this? To life? To these empty events?

Remember what I said earlier?

You are a Meaning Making Machine.

and Life is Empty and Meaningless.

Ask yourself:

What do you do when something is empty? YOU FILL IT UP!

Since you are a meaning-making-machine, you have the mandate to forge your own personal meaning out of all these meaningless events. Simply fill life up with a meaning that is so powerful, so inspiring that you simply must bound out of bed every morning.

It’s that simple. Life is inherently empty, but YOU have the Power to give it meaning.

And do you already realize what kind of power that is? You suddenly open up a whole new world of possibilities!

Think about that.

Did you once think that because you got fired, lost your wife, or got mugged, that life is cruel and demonic?

Or did you think that because you won a million bucks at the lottery that God out there must love only you?

NO!! NO!! NO!! Life is not inherently cruel and demonic. Nor does God favor you any more than the average Joe.

These are rich meanings you ascribed to life simply because of random events.

But wow… how those arbitrary meanings shape your future for all eternity.

Think of how a rape victim would live the next 20 years. “It’s hell. Every man is a monster”

Or imagine how Kiyosaki arises every morning. “Life is great! I earned $200000 more in royalties today”

Get what I’m driving at.

Life Is Empty and Meaningless, but You Have to Power to Give it Meaning.

Positive or Negative.

And how you choose to view life shapes the rest of your fleeting existence on this planet. You literally wield near God-like powers to reinvent your tenure on this world. Did you realize that?

It all depends on the Meaning Life Has For You.

And the best thing about it is: You Chose That Meaning.

David sought my help because of chronic feelings of inner emptiness. David is very successful in his manufacturing business, has a good marriage and two adult children. Like Vera, everything seemed fine. Yet the feelings of inner emptiness drove David to overeat, overspend, and indulge in porno on the Internet.

While both Vera and David were successful in their careers, neither loved their work. They worked to make money, but their work had little meaning for them. Yet when they looked inside, neither could discover what did have meaning for them. Both reported that they had never experienced a sense of meaning in their adult lives, and that the emptiness and depression had been with them since adolescence.

As I worked with Vera and David, it became evident that each had made a decision early in their lives to shut down their feelings to avoid the deep pain of unbearable loneliness. Vera shut down because she was unable to tolerate the loneliness of her mother’s behavior toward her. Her mother would say she loved Vera, but Vera never felt her love. Instead, she felt her mother energetically pulling at her, trying to suck the life out of her. As a very sensitive child, Vera could not tolerate this confusing experience, so she put her feelings in a box and decided to live out of her head instead of her gut.

David, also a very sensitive child, shut down because he was unable to tolerate the loneliness of being with two emotionally unavailable empty parents, and the loneliness of rejection from peers.

As adults, both Vera and David were still shut down from their feelings. They were still afraid of feeling the pain of loneliness a feeling that is actually an everyday fact of life. Loneliness is present when your heart is closed or another’s heart is closed, or when there is no one with whom to share love. Loneliness is the primary feeling when we want to connect with another and the other is unavailable. If you were completely open to your feelings, you would feel moments of loneliness throughout the day. However, most people never feel this feeling and are completely unaware of it, because the moment there is a twinge of emotional pain, they move instantly to various addictions and addictive behaviors, such as substances, activities, thoughts, shame and blame. Yet when we shut out pain, we also shut out joy and a passionate sense of purpose.

Pain and joy are in the same box. Vera and David could not discover what has meaning for them and what brings them joy while keeping a lid on their feelings. And the very act of keeping a lid on their feelings was creating their depression and inner emptiness.

Imagine that your feelings are a child within. If you ignore this child by ignoring your feelings this child feels abandoned. Our refusal to feel and take responsibility for our own pain is an inner abandonment and results in anxiety, depression, and/or inner emptiness.

It is our child within our feeling self that has the blueprint for what has meaning for us, for our passion and purpose. Each of us comes to this planet with a deep purpose to express, and when we don’t express this purpose, we end up feeling empty and depressed. Yet we cannot discover this purpose when we keep a lid on our feelings.

Learning to manage the pain of loneliness is essential to discovering your passion and purpose. There is no way of managing loneliness without a deep and personal connection to a spiritual source of love and wisdom. We cannot manage loneliness from our mind alone.

You will find deep meaning in your life when you decide to open to and learn from your feelings of loneliness rather than continue to shut them down. And you will open to these feelings only when you do not feel alone inside due to experiencing the love and wisdom of your spiritual Guidance. Opening to Divine Love and opening to your feelings will bring you the fullness, joy, passion and purpose that are the yearnings of your soul.

Attitude changes typically take place when something monumental happens in a person’s life that suddenly makes them see everything differently. This may be a near-death experience or some kind of tragedy that they weren’t expecting. People begin to see that life is extremely fragile and they begin to think that maybe the real meaning of life is contained in something other than the things they used to value so much. They begin to change their values to and to approach life from a new perspective about what is truly important. It doesn’t have to be a tragedy or a near-death experience, however, which brings this about. An attitude change can take place simply because you decide that you want to make yourself into a better person and you are determined to make that happen.

One of the most common reasons for bringing about an attitude change, besides a tragedy or near-death experience is the simple fact that a person becomes fed up with the life they have been living. They no longer see themselves as a worthwhile individual and they want to feel good about themselves again. Maybe it was just a little thing that went wrong in their life but it was somehow the straw that broke the camel’s back and now they are ready to really change their life. How do they get serious about this plan and make themselves actually stick to the new changes that they have in mind for themselves? What do they need to do to actually make this attitude change a reality?

One of the best ways to really make your attitude change stick is to join a group and make a commitment to go to that group several times a week in order to remind yourself about the changes you are trying to make. Other people can do wonders for your attitude and make you stick to the promises you have made for yourself simply because you feel more support from other people when you join a group. It really doesn’t matter who the people are in the group and whether you like them or not. This is not how an attitude change works. The change takes place because you make a commitment to make friends with some new people who are trying to do the same thing as you are trying to do; i.e. improve you life! You go to the group, not because the people are so great or you love them so much. You go to the group because you are trying to make yourself a better person and you know that you can’t really do it on your own. This is called humility and it is a primary ingredient in bringing about an attitude change in anyone.

You have to be able to admit that you can’t do everything on your own. People don’t become educated doctors or lawyers on their own. They go to school and classes to achieve this. Similarly, you can’t change your attitude and become a new person on your own. You need other people! If you are serious about making an attitude change in yourself, you will make a commitment to join a group and start working toward your goal with others who are also interested in the same thing. There are thousands of groups out there and you can find one that fits the interests you have to make a change. Attitude change is easy but it takes concerted effort over a long period of time. What better way to devote yourself to this long term goal than to try out a new group and make a commitment to help out each week. You will surely be on the road to success once you have made that decision!

I don’t make a habit of reading the obituary columns in the newspaper but occasionally I read about strangers. Many have experienced a long and full life, contributed to society in a meaningful way, were visible within their community. I think how proud their family must be, I also imagine the hurt and grief they are experiencing. I read about the 42-year old father who has succumbed to cancer and leaves behind a wife and two children and I wonder how this is fair. My heart aches when I read about the young child tragically killed in an accident as my eyes fill with tears.

I’m no stranger to death. It scares me and I don’t deal well with it. I find death emotionally overwhelming. It is hurt, compassion, sadness, pain, empathy, love all rolled together that hits like a tsunami.

I’ve lost high school friends to accidents, drugs, and disease. I’ve seen first hand the impact on a family when their young daughter took her own life. Like so many others, I have said goodbye to relatives only after they have gone.

I don’t know why I’m so impacted by death. Its not that I think about it all the time. Maybe I subconsciously fear the loss of a parent, a sibling, a family member. Perhaps I’m selfish, a coward who doesn’t want to die.

Young people seldom think of death, they are to busy living life as if they are invincible. Old people tend to prepare for death and accept the event as a natural and inevitable occurrence. Experience and reality have tempered their emotions. The grief and hurt is still there, so is the reflection on the positive aspects of the individual’s life. For some, their biggest worry is if they will out live their friends, who will attend their funeral.

Maybe this aging process will help me to become less sensitive to the loss of not only those I love, but to those I have only read about in the newspaper. I am thankful my fear of death is more than offset by my passion for life. So it should be.

So where does this discussion of death take us? It could be to the end of a journey, or the beginning of a new one depending on your beliefs. If you were to have a tombstone, what would it read? Here we are back to the question, what is our mission, our purpose, our goal? One accolade might read, “Here lays an honest person who cared about the people around her, respected others and made a positive difference in the lives of everyone she encountered.” If we envision how we want others to remember us, it might provide a valuable compass to aid us down the path of life.

In a perfect world, perhaps caring and understanding might extend well beyond our community and our country. Imagine a common bond based on a desire for truth, justice, peace, and mutual respect.

We can’t do a lot about death. We can very much impact life – our own and others.

Life as you know it today can change tomorrow, and be what you always imagined and wanted it to be. I’m not talking about just dreaming about it, but actually living the life you want day in and day out year after year until you leave this earth. Your imagination, and thought pattern control every aspect of your life, from what you wear on a daily basis to whether you marry a particular person. Most people do not realize this and allow their thoughts and imaginations to run wild and wreck havoc on Business, social, and family lives. This chaos takes shape in many different facets, such as eating to much, drinking, smoking, high stress levels, drug use and the list goes on and on.

The good news is that we as individual beings have the ability to use our minds to take full control and immediately change our circumstances and situations by the way we view the situation at hand. It’s just like the saying “you can view this glass of water as half empty or half full”. How a person chooses to view that glass of water is totally up to him or her because of our ability to think, rationalize, and make the final decision of how we perceive or interpret the circumstances at hand. That final decision we make on how we interpret the circumstances will also determine the overall outcome of whatever situation we are dealing with at that present moment.

So my friends you can began to see how this one simple concept of “Is the glass half empty or half full” can have a major impact on the outcome of any situation you are dealing with. By changing our view of the circumstances from “I could never do that, to if I learned I could do that” will ultimately determine what course of action we will take. We make decision everyday with negative outlooks or negative perceptions not realizing we are limiting ourselves as well as our confidence in our own abilities. As we do this over long periods of time we train our minds subconsciously to have negative outlooks and perceptions without realizing the mental road block we have built up over the years. You can take control as soon as you make up your mind to do so, now ask yourself “Is the glass half empty or half full”.

“I’m too busy living to worry about that now.”

“What’s the point in worrying about it? I can’t change anything.”

Generally though, these are lies we tell ourselves to protect us from our fear of the unknown. And while these lies may appear to work on the surface, deep within your subconscious they just build on that fear.

Well, enough is enough! It’s time to stop lying to yourself. There is great freedom to be gained by considering and accepting your own mortality.

Life has a way of making you think about it eventually, whether through the death or illness of a friend, family member or loved one, or perhaps through your own life being placed in danger. So why wait till the last minute when emotions are high and the fear is intense. Take the time to consider your mortality now, and come to terms with it.

If you’re still not sure then consider this- how do you react to any other potential interruption to your life? If you were faced with a potential retrenchment, for example, how would you react? Most likely you would not just hope the problem goes away, but would rather take the time to consider what exactly this situation means to your life. How will this affect you and your loved ones, and your lifestyle? What options do you have, and what path will you choose to minimise any negative impact and maximise any gain in your life?

And yet do we do this when faced with the most inevitable change of our life, our own death? No! We ignore it and hope the issue goes away.

Well, no more! Considering and coming to terms with the meaning of your life, and your death, is essential for your peace of mind and your happiness.

So if you really want to live, then you need to ask yourself some questions:

“Am I ok with the fact that I’m going to die?”

“What does this mean to me?”

“Why am I dying?”

“If I died today would I be happy with how I’ve lived my life?”

There are a million different questions you could ask. Only you can choose the questions relevant to your own life. And only you can provide the answers.

So ask yourself these questions. You may not have answers just yet, but keep asking and considering the question until you are at peace with your own mortality. Peace of mind is essential for a happy fulfilling life.

Now, once you’re at that stage, you’ll find there’s a second thing that you must do before you die. Thankfully though, the fact that you’re comfortable with your life and imminent death will make this second part really easy.

You must now live your life to the fullest.

I can’t tell you how to do that, but once again you can find the answer through questioning your subconscious.

“What can I do right now to live a fulfilling life?”

“What do I want to do now, more than anything else?”

“How can I contribute to the world?”

There is so much life to be lived. Get out there and enjoy yourself. Time is ticking by. Don’t put off living till tomorrow, when circumstances may be better. Tomorrow never comes. Live now.

Skydive, travel, volunteer your time to a charity, watch the sunrise and sunset, grow a prize winning garden, learn to fly, learn to scuba dive, meditate, paint, sing, or play an instrument.

The world is yours. This life is yours. Get out there and live it! Now!

Before it’s too late, make these two things a priority in your life:

1. Consider and accept your mortality.

2. And live your life to its fullest potential.

Lance Beggs
Copyright 2005 Lance Beggs. All Rights Reserved.