All of us lose our patience at some point of time in our life. Some of us do it very quickly. For others it needs something big to disturb otherwise they are patient all the times. What is your patience? Have you thought about it? Certain ties in life, we can do nothing, but we still act impatiently. That does not help at all. It may hurt us.

What if you are stuck in a traffic jam? You want to reach for a meeting, but the traffic refuses to move because of some mishap ahead. Will acting impatiently help? No. it would be better to get cool and listen to some music or make notes of your work or plan of other things. Take this time as a gift and use it positively. This depends on us.

Success comes easily to those who understand their emotions and don’t let the emotions overwhelm them always. One who is always driven by emotions meets failures from time to time. We have to apply our mind and analyze every situation. We have to react after that. We have been given the ability to react by nature. Touch any hot object and you will get away immediately. That is natural. But reacting immediately in every situation can be bad for our career and home life. Patience plays a very important role in that.

TIME IS MY FRIEND
TIME IS MY ALLY
I HAVE ALL THE TIME I NEED
FOR EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO.

I received a lot of grateful responses and some questions, indicating just how hard it is to balance our time requests these days. I want to respond to a subscriber who said she is “too busy to attend to personal needs vs. work, work, work” and is looking for a way to take care of herself while meeting the requirements of her workplace.

Here are a couple of suggestions for anyone who is struggling to keep work and personal life in balance.

First, don’t judge yourself about where you’re spending your time. Wherever you are, be there 100 percent. If you’re working, try to notice why you said yes to the work and enjoy that part of it. Enjoy the moment.

Second, use your calendar or daytimer as a tool to give you what you want. Mark it with work and personal time, and attend to it. For example, I’m writing a book, and it’s very easy for me to let that time slip into something else, like answering email or returning calls. I’m getting better at blocking out the time in advance and sticking with what I said I was going to do with it.

Lastly, prioritize your values around time. If personal time is the highest priority, mark the personal time into your calendar first. Then fill in the other stuff in around it.

I hope some of this helps. Please write and let me know if any of the suggestions work for you. And let me know your ideas, too, because I need them!

Here are 3 easy steps to manage stress through your nursing day right now:

1. Plan your day. Write down the tasks that you need to do for the day. Use a day planner or a palm pilot. There are many types of day planners. Choose the one that works for you and
your needs. This will help you see what really is important to get done. And what is not important in your day. This can help reduce the stress in your day by half.

2. Schedule time for yourself. Every week take time for you. Whether it is a whole day or a few hours take the time for you. Watch a movie, take a walk, get your nails done or go get a massage. Do whatever you like to do to relax.Therefore it will help you focus and get more done. You will also gain more energy.

3.If you have too much to get done. Delegate tasks out to someone else. It is okay to get help. Ask for help from friends,family, or co-workers. Or hire someone to take some of the workload off
of you. When you do everything, stress takes over. Your life will start to collapse.

These actions are a start to take a handle on stress. Pick two easy steps and start utilizing it. It is time to get back a better career and life. It will tremendously help your physical body.

Some people view time management as a list of rules that involves scheduling of appointments, goal settings, thorough planning, creating things to do lists and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

But there is more skills involved in time management than the core basics. Skills such as decision making, inherent abilities such as emotional intelligence and critical thinking are also essential to your personal growth.

Personal time management involves everything you do. No matter how big and no matter how small, everything counts. Each new knowledge you acquire, each new advice you consider, each new skill you develop should be taken into consideration.

Having a balanced life-style should be the key result in having personal time management. This is the main aspect that many practitioners of personal time management fail to grasp.

Time management is about getting results, not about being busy.

The six areas that personal time management seeks to improve in anyone’s life are physical, intellectual, social, career, emotional and spiritual.

The physical aspect involves having a healthy body, less stress and fatigue.

The intellectual aspect involves learning and other mental growth activities.

The social aspect involves developing personal or intimate relations and being an active contributor to society.

The career aspect involves school and work.

The emotional aspect involves appropriate feelings and desires and manifesting them.

The spiritual aspect involves a personal quest for meaning.

Thoroughly planning and having a set of things to do list for each of the key areas may not be very practical, but determining which area in your life is not being giving enough attention is part of time management. Each area creates the whole you, if you are ignoring one area then you are ignoring an important part of yourself.

Personal time management should not be so daunting a task. It is a very sensible and reasonable approach in solving problems big or small.

A great way of learning time management and improving your personal life is to follow several basic activities.

One of them is to review your goals whether it be immediate or long-term goals often.

A way to do this is to keep a list that is always accessible to you.

Always determine which task is necessary or not necessary in achieving your goals and which activities are helping you maintain a balanced life style.

Each and everyone of us has a peek time and a time when we slow down, these are our natural cycles. We should be able to tell when to do the difficult tasks when we are the sharpest.

Learning to say “No”. You actually see this advice often. Heed it even if it involves saying the word to family or friends.

Pat yourself at the back or just reward yourself in any manner for an effective time management result.

Try and get the cooperation from people around you who are actually benefiting from your efforts of time management.

Don’t procrastinate. Attend to necessary things immediately.

Have a positive attitude and set yourself up for success. But be realistic in your approach in achieving your goals.

Have a record or journal of all your activities. This will help you get things in their proper perspective.

These are the few steps you initially take in becoming a well rounded individual.

As the say personal time management is the art and science of building a better life.

From the moment you integrate into your life time management skills, you have opened several options that can provide a broad spectrum of solutions to your personal growth. It also creates more doors for opportunities to knock on.

Have you thought about the benefits you will get from volunteering? If you consider the many benefits you will receive, you will be asking yourself why you aren’t more involved with helping a cause. Consider these 18 reasons to volunteer some of your time:

1. To make new friends
2. To build personal and profesional contacts
3. To build your self-esteem and self-confidence
4. To develop new job skills
5. To make a difference in the world
6. To increase personal satisfaction
7. To add experience to your resume
8. To develop people skills
9. To develop communication skills
10. To do something as a family
11. To explore career possibilities
12. To feel needed and appreciated
13. To share your skills with others
14. To be challenged
15. To do something different
16. To earn academic credit
17. To improve your health
18. To have fun!

You will get more out of your volunteer experience than you put into it. Don’t hesitate to identify and donate some of your time to a worthy volunteer opportunity. You will be glad you did.

The other reason, as everyone knows, is that during a vacation week there are no days beginning with the letter “T.” Now, you know why your vacation went by so quickly this summer. There are always reasons if you are willing to dig hard enough.

Now, if this is true, the question plaguing my mind is: where does all that time go?

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a hurry to go somewhere it usually takes twice as long to get there? It does not matter what time of day it is, or which day it is for that matter, for when you are running a tad late for some appointment across town, Old Father Time insists that you go through an intricate obstacle course. It is his way of having a little fun. After all, the old boy needs some kind of diversion.

For example, if I am leisurely driving across town with plenty of time on my hands, I never hit a red light. Every traffic light is green and there have been times when I have arrived at my destination 10 minutes before I left.

On the other hand, if I am in a hurry and running just the slightest late, this is immediately brought to the attention of Father Time. He rubs his hands with glee and begins his work. Immediately, every traffic light in town is on the alert for my arrival. Their instruction from Father Time is quite simple. “When you see Rev. Snyder coming, turn red.”

Sometimes all the attention Father Time gives me embarrasses me.

Then there is the train on 17th Street. I can travel this street for weeks and never see that train. There have been times when I have wondered if the train has ceased running.

Then, I am in a hurry and everything changes. It has yet to fail me. When running late, the train always runs slow and, on my honor, the longest and slowest train is reserved for me.

Perhaps the worse time trick Old Father Time plays on me is at the checkout counter. The checkout personnel are especially trained by Father Time. In one week alone, I found 17 days that I lost during my vacation in 1978, just at a checkout counter.

Last week my wife and I were in a hurry to some appointment. It really does not matter what the appointment was, we never really got there, thanks to Old Father Time. On the way to this appointment, I said something quite foolish to my wife. (What husband hasn’t?)

“Honey,” I said as innocently as any husband can, “I need to stop at the grocery store for something.” Right then a huge red light went off to alert Father Time of my intention. That wasn’t enough. I also told her, as I jumped out of the car, “This will only take a minute.” With that, I bounded into the store.

This put Old Father Time into hysterics. He lives for this kind of situation.

When I got in the store, I knew exactly where the item was that I needed. Voila … somehow, store management had a premonition that I would be coming in this day and that I would be in a hurry. They did the only thing they could do in that situation completely rearrange the store all in my honor.

Now, not only was I in a hurry but also I could not find the product I was after. If I wasn’t a man, I could asked for directions.

My wife, tired of waiting in the car, came in and found the item for me. Now all I needed to do was get it through the checkout.

Have you ever noticed that no matter what line you get in it is always the slowest? Even if I am the only one in the checkout, I have no better luck. Usually in that situation, I get the trainee on her first day working all alone.

Am I getting harder of hearing or are young people, especially young women, speaking a different language? It took me 10 minutes to realize that the young trainee was merely saying, “Hello, how are you?”

Of course, I wanted to pay for my purchase with a check. It was then that Old Father Time roared with devilish delight. To use a check at many places requires 16 independent forms of identification and a note from your mother. At the time, I only had 15.

By the time my wife and I got to our car, it was too late for our important appointment. Father Time won another one.

Time is important and often we are guilty of wasting it. The biggest area where people waste time is regarding their relationship with God.

The Apostle Paul warned of this in his letter to the Romans. “And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.” (Romans 13:11 KJV.)

David Perdew has just written a new book called “Bad Dad: 10 Keys to Regaining Trust”, is developing and teaching an online course, makes time for his family, and works a full-time job. Some students in his class have recently stated they don’t know how he does it all. I recently talked with David about his “secret.” It was no surprise that he has learned what I have.

You need to determine what your values and life purpose are and then spend your time doing those things that are most important to fulfilling them. Everything else should be delegated to someone else or not done at all. If giving to others is high on your list of values, you will make the time to do it more and feel great about it.

I spent the energy to determine my values and life purpose in my mid-forties. Some people might think I was going through a mid-life crisis (or man-o-pause as my friend Nick would call it). You are never too young or old to take your life purpose seriously.

The following two books were very useful to me and I highly recommend them both:

- “The Power To Be Your Best” by Todd Duncan
- “The Purpose-Driven Life” by Rick Warren

If you don’t know your life purpose at this point in your life, you need to take the time to discover it. It will be a life changing experience.

Instead of fully experiencing the moment and all it has to offer we tend to spend most our lives either dwelling on the past or projecting into the future. Very little mind activity is concerned with the now. Yet, isn’t this the only time things are done? If we are constantly being dragged away from the task at hand by subtle and intrusive time related thoughts are we not letting the mind control us rather than us control the mind? Isn’t our attention diverted from doing the very best we can do now? Holding onto the past keeps us in our habitual state. Constantly living in the future keeps us from ever getting to the place we dream about.

There is no doubt that to lead a successful life we should make our dreams big and design a plan of action to get there. We break the hold of our habitual condition by coming into the present and taking the action we know we must take to achieve our dreams. We don’t allow fear to enter our lives because we don’t dwell on future outcomes or what if scenarios. It is pointless trying to second guess everything. It will only lead to disappointment and failure. We can’t know everything that is going to happen so we should only deal with what does happen.

The degree to which we can alter our circumstances is directly related to how much power the mind has over us. We overcome that power by coming into the present. If you were to observe your thoughts for a moment by shifting into the present, you would notice that you are in fact not your thoughts. How can you be if you are observing them? You are the observer and have full control over that which you can observe. The more we think and act in the moment the easier it becomes for us to control the mind and to transcend the limitations of time.

When we shift from our current state into the present we look through the window of eternity. From out of nowhere comes now and here. The place from which all creativity springs and where we think and do our very best. Success can be found in the present, a gift from God to you.

I’m not certain where this statement comes from. I’d like to take credit for it, but I think someone much wiser than I am said this.

Most people consider fear an emotion to be avoided at all costs. Here, it is considered an indication of change and growth. Could that really be? Let’s break this statement down and see if it is true.

FEAR

Every human, and at least higher forms of all organisms, have felt fear. It is an innate feeling and one that has allowed individuals to survive by moving them away from danger.

Fear may not feel good, but it can be positive in that it can keep us away from harm. There are physiological and psychological parts to fear and I’m sure we have all had them. Sometimes they don’t feel attached to anything happening in our lives and at other times they are very specific to the situation.

When fear strikes, blood flows to the extremities, the legs and arms, preparing us to flee the dangerous situation. There is a momentary freeze, that cold feeling that flows through the body, while the brain processes the information in front of it, determining what action, flight or fight, is more appropriate. Hormones contribute to the reaction.

Thoughts play a huge part in the development of fear and our reactions to it. We play the worst case scenario in our heads and then our hearts begin to pump fast, our faces flush, perspiration begins, mouth dries, eyes widen, looking for the threat that may not be visible.

Being on your Growing Edge

What if you’ve been at the same job, same route to work, same schedule for the past five or ten years and you’re becoming bored? You think there’s more to life but you are not sure how to find it.

Suppose you’re going along your life’s road and this year you are given a promotion to a job which calls for skills you haven’t master, you also get marry, move to a new city, and get elected president of a service organization you’ve been a member of for some years.

Now suppose you become aware that you need to hone skills that are unfamiliar to you . You seek out a way to learn those skills. You could read books, observe people you know who have those skills, seek out a mentor or a life or executive coach, use trial and error. But in some way you target what you don’t know and develop a way to learn it all. Hard work ahead, but easier on the fear factor.

These are three examples of being on the growing edge. In the first example, growth hasn’t happened for some time. You’ve been comfortably living in the familiar, but after a time, this comfort level leads to dissatisfaction and a need to experience change.

This is good. It makes you want to grow. It might lead to developing new work skills or even a new career. Or seeking avocations that make “free” time more exciting. No matter what, your choice is to stay bored, and safe, or take a chance, sometimes many chances, experience some fear, and grow.

In example two, you can almost feel the frenzy of the life overextended, overwhelmed with change. It’s being on the growing edge in every area of one’s life. Not too many people will find this enjoyable or even livable. Something would have to give. Fear of change could easily take hold and become the most prominent emotion. Blood pressure rising? I would think so, and temper, too.

Stepping too far out on the growing edge can pose great risk of failure and can be just as bad in one’s life as avoiding fear by staying within one’s comfort zone.

Example three, how to keep some comfort while moving out, taking risks, experiencing some invigorating fear. Fear of the unknown is keep low and fear of failure is minimized. Recognition that some fear will exist helps keep emotions in check.

Fear is part of the growing edge

So, yes, fear is part of the growing edge. Just knowing that it is and that those who choose to grow experience fear helps keep it low enough to cope with it.

But there are other ways to step into the growing edge, facing the fear but not focusing on it.

1) Often we have assumptions about what it will be like to move into the growing zone that are not based on fact and, indeed, are untrue and frightening. Discover what part is causing you to avoid moving and find out if it is real or just part of your imagination.

2) Re-label emotions. Fear and excitement are so similar that we often confuse the two and moving into the growing edge will have both emotions firing like crazy. Re-label some of the fear excitement and see if that rings true for you. Think how it is to be on a roller coaster. Fear and excitement, right? And you still got on.

3) Focus. You can choose to focus on the fear in starting a new, unfamiliar process, or you can focus on the process itself. The second will get you much closer to your goals.

4) Limit stepping into the growing edge to just one or two areas at a time. Growth takes time, energy, and perseverance. Expecting to make many changes at the same time will increase the need for these as well as the fear that is a part of change.

5) Don’t diminish your accomplishments. I have worked with many people who, once they have accomplished the change, talk as if they have nothing to be proud of. They do, and so do you. It takes courage to face fear of the unknown and of things that can make you cringe, even if they hold you back. So be proud and aware of your accomplishments.

Where has the growing edge taken you? What fears have you had to face? Share them with us over the next months by writing to info@commuter-assist.com.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Be well,
Dr. M.

What problem is most dominant in peoples lives?

The answer is: FEAR!

People live every day in fear. Fear of losing their wealth, fear of losing their loved ones, fear of making the wrong decisions, fear of being themselves, fear of growing up, fear of making a commitment. The list goes on and on.

The leading cause of people not fulfilling their dreams is NOT the fear of failure – it’s the fear of success! The fear of actually accomplishing what they set out to do. The fear of living life to the fullest may have paralyzed you. This will cause you to never really try in your business, or if you do try, to sabotage your efforts so you never have to face your fear of success.

Most people live their lives in the grip of this fear and they aren’t even aware that it has control over them! The fear is the one thing that can turn your dreams of financial freedom, loving relationships, and a fulfilling and significant life into a pattern of habits including procrastination, self-sabotage and other bad habits.

Fear is the dominate problem in your life today. The two questions you need to answer to conquer your fear are:

Which fear has the most control over your behavior? Is it the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of success, or is it all of them?

How do I interrupt the bad habits that I have developed as a means of protection from this fear? How do I interrupt the programming I have within me?

These are the two most significant questions when it comes to overcoming your fears. If you can answer these two questions, your life will forever change!

The reality of fear is that it is human and is a part of life. It’s not going to go away. Some fear is even healthy! It is a gift given to you to keep you safe and bring you closer to your creator.

Every person is born with three instinctive fears. These are: fear of falling, fear of loud noises, and fear of abandonment. These three fears were given to you to help you monitor what is going on around you. Think about it; it is fear that gives you the adrenaline rush that makes you escape from a situation that is really, truly unsafe. It also gives you the same rush that causes you to fight to win.

Faith is born in fear. God knew in His infinite wisdom that fear is what would drive His people back to Him. Although sometimes it is only in times of extreme fear that we look to God and choose Him. Take a look at your own life and think about the times you looked to God for His power and wisdom. Those were probably times of extreme fear. True faith is born from fear!

So what caused the gift of fear to be the number one problem in society today? Why do people let fear control their actions, beliefs and lives? The answer is the difference between reacting to fear and acting in fear. It has everything to do with your belief system.

Children typically react instinctively to fear, which is appropriate behavior at this age. Most adults don’t make the distinction between reacting to fear, as when they were a child, and acting with their intellect when dealing with fear.

People react instinctively to fear by either denying it or running away from it. They miss the power that comes from acting with their intellect, never allowing the fear to become the gift it was intended to be. Learn to act with your intellect by exposing your true fears and the beliefs they represent and free yourself so you can move on with all you are meant to do, have and become!