Getting a good night’s sleep helps us to be happier, more productive people, so here’s some tips to help you get a good night’s sleep:

1. Avoid drinking tea or coffee late at night

2. Stop smoking nicotine is a stimulant and so can make it difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep

3. Go to bed at the same time each night so that you set a routine

4. Only use the bed for sleeping and sex

5. Use dimmers on your light switches, and dim the lights in the hours before you go to bed to mimic the change from daylight to night time

6. Avoid taking exercise in the evening exercise early in the day to promote restful sleep

7. Try using affirmations, such as: “I let go of the day, and enjoy restful, peaceful sleep” repeated several times while you prepare for sleep

8. If you can’t get to sleep after a while, get up keeping the lights low and do something boring until you feel sleepy

9. Alcohol may help you get to sleep, but you are more likely to wake during the night feeling thirsty and needing to go to the bathroom

10. Try relaxed breathing: breathe slowly and deeply concentrating on your abdomen rather than your chest

11. Get your allergies checked out, particularly if you wake craving particular food in the middle of the night

12. Avoid paying bills and similar jobs just before sleep

13. Try a herbal tea – chamomile, passion flower, lavender flowers or valerian are good, or take a herbal supplement such as scullcap or valerian

14. Put the essential oils lavender and clary sage on your pillow and inhale their soothing vapours as you sleep

15. Try some flower remedies – there are lots of different types. In the Bach flower remedies you might like to try ‘vervain’ if you find it difficult to switch off from the
day; ‘holly’ if anger and resentment keep you awake; ‘white chestnut’ for persistent unwanted thoughts; ‘aspen’ if you wake because of nightmares

16. Try holding your frontal eminences (the bumps on your forehead, about half way between your eyebrows and hairline) if you are awake because of stress

17. Try taking supplements magnesium and calcium can work well

18. If you suffer with hot flushes/flashes, try some natural support for your endocrine system at this time. I personally recommend Neways wild yam and chaste berry cream

19. Many alternative and complementary therapists have success with people with sleep problems. Find a local therapist and ask them if they have experience in this field

20. Sleep problems can be a sign of an underlying medical condition (e.g. thyroid problems or depression), so get this checked out with a suitably qualified health professional

Ok, ok, so I admit it, I have watched one or two episodes of celebrity big brother on the TV here in the UK in past couple of weeks. I am not a reality game show fanatic, however, I find it fascinating.

One thing that I have found fascinating is how different people react to others just because of what they believed before they entered the house rather than treating individuals on the basis of how they have experienced them first hand.

There is a young musician from a fabulous band in the Big Brother house called Preston and he voted for a lady called Faria to be evicted from the house simply because of the fact that she is famous for a kiss and tell story with England football coach Sven Goran Erickson. The first evictee, Jodie Marsh, was also cold and unpleasant to Faria on the first night for the very same reasons and expressed that to Dennis Rodman in the house. Neither of them judged Faria on how they found her or on their own personal experience of her.

Jodie and Preston both openly stated beliefs that they thought she was not a “proper celebrity” (whatever that is) because of how she was famous and Jodie Marsh actually said, when she was evicted from the house last week, that she thought Faria was lovely!! Amazing stuff. When she got to know her beyond what she originally believed, she discovered something that was liberating and kind instead of to the contrary.

Your beliefs are pretty much the rules of your life, well at least they are the rules that you will no doubt be living by. These rules may be what sets you free to achieve things in your life and live the way that you think is important. These beliefs may well also be restricting you and holding you back; they may even be creating the belief that you are incapable of achieving your goals. Or as in the case of contestants from Celebrity Big Brother, stop you from being agreeable to someone!

I wonder how many of you are already losing sight of your New Year goals or resolutions? Your beliefs may well be affecting your degree of success.

I believe in gravity and am guessing that you all believe in it too. Gravity is not influenced or altered in any way, shape or form by my belief in it. However, our relationships, abilities and possibilities are all influenced by our beliefs about them.

We tend to form our beliefs as the result of our experiences and then we act as if they are true. In one sense they are self-fulfilling propphecies. If you believe you are a likeable person, you will act that way, approach people openly and enjoy being with them. They will warm to you and so confirm your belief. We think that beliefs are formed by experiences, but equally experiences are the results of beliefs.

So this then means that you can choose your beliefs!

Understand that the belief that beliefs are changeable is in itself a challenging belief to many people because they tend to think of beliefs as possessions. People talk about ‘holding’ and ‘having’ beliefs, ‘losing’ or ‘gaining’ them. No one wants to ‘lose’ something. It would be better talking about them ‘leaving’ or ‘outgrowing’ beliefs rather than ‘losing’ them.

What’s more, we all have a personal investment in our own beliefs. When the world confirms them, then they make a lot of sense to us, they are then predictable and give us a sense of security and certainty. We even may take a perverse pleasure in disaster, providing we have predicted it; how many of you have used the term ‘I told you so’ and found it to be a satisfying phrase? Not because you necessarily wanted anything to go wrong, but because your beliefs were proved correct.

Limiting beliefs are the major offender stopping us from achieving our goals and living our dreams. They act as rules that stop us from getting what exists within us as potential and we all have so much potential that we do not tap into nearly enough. Limiting beliefs hold us back from achieiving what we are actually capable of and what we deserve.

So have a good think about this question; “What is stopping you from achieving your goal?” and know that the answers are very often your limiting beliefs.

Early limiting beliefs may come from childhood influences such as parents or teachers or people whose beliefs we deemed worthy of believing ourselves. These early beliefs often stay hidden and we do not consciously evaluate them as adults. We also pick up limiting beliefs from the media. The numerous soap operas that take up so many hours of TV time set up situations where the characters have to act out ridiculous limitations, otherwise there simply is no drama to compulsively view!

Here are some typical limiting beliefs that are amazingly common;

“No pain – no gain.”
“I need to have lots of money to be happy.”
“I can’t trust anybody.”
“You can’t get over a bad start in life.”
“I am too old to learn to use a computer.”
“I never get what I am after.”
“Other people are better than me.”
“I do not deserve to be successful.”
“I have reached my limits.”
“I need to work very hard to have enough money to live.”
“Success takes a very long time.”

These and similar beliefs are only true if you act as if they are. Suppose they are mistaken? what difference would that make?

In the process of achieving your goals, sometimes just being able to articulate any existing limiting beliefs and in turn noticing their effect is enough to alter or dissolve your old unwanted belief and therefore change and update your own reality.

It has certainly been my experience that the majority of people are not usually aware of their limiting beliefs. So the first step is to put them into language or to write them down. Then they are exposed and can be examined and ideally let go of. There are two simple ways to do this:

The first way is to simply ask yourself what the reasons are that you are not currently achieving your goal. What do you think is holding you back? Ask yourself that question and answer as truthfully and thoroughly as you can. The answers will reveal what it is that you perceive to be limitations. More often than not, these limits will be more about you than about the world. When they are about you, they are something that can be changed or updated.

Now, I have found that when people do ask themselves these questions in their own mind, they are rarely honest with themselves, so here is another approach that I use a lot with my one to one clients to discover what, if any, limiting beliefs you have;

Step one: Take a piece of paper and write down an important goal. Have a good look at that goal and really think about it.

Step two: As you think about that goal, assess and score each of the following statements;

Score each of these statements by giving it a score out of 10. Where 1 means you do not believe this statement and 10 means that you believe it without a doubt at all.

I deserve to achieve my goal.

I have the skills and abilities necessary to achieve this goal.

It is possible to achieve my goal.

My goal is clear and defined.

My goal is desirable to me.

My goal is worthwhile.

Look at the lowest scores for any of your answers and begin to explore them. This can be wonderfully enlightening. Low scores highlight and indicate a limiting belief or that you have not thought about the goal sufficiently. If you have discovered some doubts in some areas of your goals, now begin to ask your self about the reasons you are doubtful or what could be making you doubt this?

When you begin to question and examine your beliefs you can unearth what might be limiting beliefs and then you can begin to heighten your awareness of whether or not your beliefs are preventing you from achieving your goals.

It is within us to explore and draw upon our inner resources to heal. Some wounds are embedded so deeply that no amount of professional expertise can cure, much less heal.

A famous Yale surgeon says that as a surgeon, he cuts into the body, but he can not order the wound to heal. Ultimately, it through our efforts that healing can occur.

The path to healing is a personal choice. It is a path where you choose to piece together the fragments and make it” whole” again. It paves the way to self-discovery, to open the door to your inner self and experience inner harmony. And ultimately, come to meet the child within that has longed for your love, care and attention. The child within that is forgotten, pushed to the background, lurks in the shadows, but waits patiently.

What needs healing?

Childhood trauma:
The imprint of childhood experience is a powerful force. An expectant mother who lives through a stressful situation during pregnancy shares the burden with the unborn child.
Years ago, domestic matters were never discussed openly, especially issues about abuse, violence, neglect, abandonment and other related matters. Today, society is more aware of the potential or actual existence of abuse and violence in the home. Tragic that the innermost and safest sanctuary society depends upon can be the most dangerous.

These are issues that take its toll on the young victims. They grow up with wounds, carry them around like a heavy load on their shoulders. Some never get over their trauma, it turns up at the most unexpected moment to haunt them; yet, there are those who are lucky enough to confront it and use it to propel themselves to a healthier and successful relationships and life itself.

When love is a venom:
How many hearts have known pain all in the name of love. It invades lives from all walks of life, social status, add to that race or creed. No one wants to suffer pain, but it does happen. Healing a broken heart, picking up the pieces of broken hopes and dreams, suffer the betrayal, endure shattered self-image, re-live the haunting nightmares, the violation of one’s innermost being, soul and spirit.

The most traumatic of all is the violation that comes from those who are supposed to provide a nurturing environment to those who are entrusted to their care. All in the guise of love.

Grief
The loss of a loved one can be most devastating. Sometimes one did not have a chance to bid their last farewell. It was all too sudden. Or one passes away after a lingering illness, with the relief that the suffering is over comes the grief of the loss. At one point and time in one’s life, grief is a reality.

Guilt
Wrong turns, wrong choices, wrong decisions. We all take wrong turns, make wrong decisions and choices. This is a human trait that not even the saintliest of the saints has not experienced. We stumble, we fall, but many of us manage to get up and get on with life. The losses incurred at times are life-threatening,
or at the cost of financial comfort and security or worst, relationships are threatened, lost or innocently or unconsciously sacrificed.

Wearing guilt on your face, in your heart, in your being invites negative vibrations and digs you deeper into the mire. Take a look at those sad eyes, the window of the soul, and you’ll know. However, this is not a dead-end!

Unfulfilled dreams and hopes
Live your dream,ride on the wings of hope; this will not always work out. One day you wake up and realize your dream never materialized and languish over the many years you spent trying to pursue that dream! In the meantime, time, opportunities and life passed you by. Hope can lead to disappointment- realize this. When all hopes are dashed, what have you got?

Path to healing:
Healing is a complex matter.
Who has never felt the pains of suffering, be it physical, mental, emotional, material and spiritual. Even our dear Mother Earth is in desperate need of healing from the abuse inflicted upon her through man’s recklessness, negligence and lack of respect.

There are avenues open to healing. One may choose to spend time with a professional, seek comfort from related groups, but always, healing has to start with one.

It is important to acknowledge the pain, to recognize the cause, to be able to integrate the fragmented pieces and be willing to take it to the next step to be “whole”again.

Healing extends beyond the physical state- when one hurts deeply, the spirit; the soul also bears the pain. It is a pain that comes in hauntingly in the dark of the night, it fills a once loving heart with venom, it could ravage a once healthy mind and body beneath a once beautiful and graceful soul is the mask of vengeance.

Blocks to healing:

But, sometimes, the path to healing is full of potholes. Indeed, the path is covered with blocks, where healing can not be accomplished, it almost out of reach. Impediments on the path:denial, apathy, self-absorption and self-indulgence, addiction, putting up walls and barriers, busy-bee syndrome, compartmentalizing, isolation, withdrawal from society, cynicism, loss of faith, trust and compassion, self-pity, poor me syndrome, anger, fear of getting hurt again, martyr complex, neurosis or psychosis, aggressive/ oppressive, confrontational, guilt complex,
resignation

Disclaimer:
Sometimes, we hurt those we love most deeply; likewise, we bear the pain they cause. This is a personal essay, it does not in any way deny the importance of seeking professional help when indicated. However, it is acknowledged that one must want to heal, must understand what needs healing, must be willing to accept the need to heal – all the expert advise and professional help can not be effective otherwise.

END

Does subliminal perception really occur? Can anyone be able to observe something involuntarily without being conscious about it? These questions were raised to challenge the scientific validity of such claims. Experiments were conducted to prove that subliminal perception was indeed a fact.

Messages were flashed briefly and fast to the test subjects by the researchers. The subjects did not report seeing any of these. The subjects were asked whether they ‘saw’ the material that they did not ‘see’. The subjects appeared to ‘see’ what they actually did not ‘see’. But then this could neither be confirmed, nor could it be verified whether the subjects were either mistaken or even lying about seeing the flashed messages.

For example of subliminals, running on your computer screen (designed for self-help) you can search on Google and download program named Subliminal Flash (by Ded Pyhto, Inc).

The experiments came to be considered comical due to the difficulties encountered in both methodology and semantics. But the few devoted researchers continued their search. ‘Subliminal perception’ after all these was concluded to be an oxymoron by the scientists who were researching perception.

Charles Eriksen, a leading important critic, pointed to a number of flaws in the concept. However, though upsetting, the critique was inconclusive. He concluded that subliminal perception, rather than a question to be proved empirically, was actually illogical. He also did not take into consideration the distinction between the conscious awareness and verbal reporting of the stimulus itself.

According to him, if the subject was able to discriminate the stimulus in a test and therefore become aware of it, then the experiment was treated as failed. That the subject did not see the stimulus was considered by him as not pertinent. However, this critical factor becomes important subsequently to the understanding of illusions, perceptual bias and subliminal perception. On the other hand, these disapprovals by Eriksen and others led to methodological improvements later and finally to the very recognition of the experience.

Though these experiments were unsuccessful in some ways in terms of behavioral and introspective measures. The experiments were not lacking in results but were failures due to the weakness in their integration with available conceptual models and interpretations that lacked clarity.

The earlier Vicary’s “eat popcorn” projector studies had exaggerated claims. These claims were acknowledged by many in the beginning of subliminal research despite the fact that Vicary himself considered it to be a weak technique. In the 1960s the debate over subliminal perception was considered dead by the discerning students of psychology. Rather than alarming claims, these were closed as a debunked hoax. However, this was not to be.

N.F. Dixon brought out an inclusive review of the research till then after a decade of Eriksen’s upsetting assessment. Dixon, though relying on the same data that Erikesen depended upon, gave a different conclusion. He pointed out that though the information processed were devoid of awareness; the responses were in reaction to external stimuli which were not acknowledged.

Dixons’ review gave impetus to Wilson Bryan Key who had laid claims to subliminal perception that led to a wave of fear particularly by Vance Packard, a social reviewer, who cautioned the creation of advertisements by advertisers using psychoanalysts. Key worked further following upon this social critic. This fear exists to the present day.

In subsequent years, the research on subliminal perception took a turn with the acceptance of the fact of unconscious information processing of the human mind besides the conscious information processing. The unconscious information processing differs from the conscious in some respects at the level of cognition (thoughts) and affects (feelings).

We see a figure against the backdrop of a scene that we are watching. At any point of time we observe only one interpretation. This has been established with the use of different perceptual illusions, for instance, reversible figures. The scene is then brought to the level of consciousness. The stimuli are grouped by the mind into outlines in line with how we interpret the scene as established in psychology.

Experiments in subliminal perceptions initially indicated that we see patterns and figures in the ground though we may not have observed these patterns. The processing of conscious and unconscious thoughts is different. This is because the level of patterning of figure-ground organization that is required in conscious processing of features in perception is not required in the unconscious or preconscious processing.

The unconscious or preconscious processing is carried out by connecting resemblances of features instead of interpreting the meaning that we might observe in the background image that we attribute it with. Psychoanalysts interpret this as the ‘primary process’ of the ‘unconscious mind’.

Unnoticed words or images then go through limited semantic and lexical analysis activating temporary motivational states or influencing preference in unclear decisions which then become visible as associated images in free association or dreams. This reasoning is behind the claim that advertisers are likely to implant pictures in ad for influencing the viewers. The important issue is to what extent this is possible and with what impact.

The New Look movement emerged in the 1970s based on the efforts of Jerome Bruner amongst others during the 1940s and 1950s in the studies related to the effect of values and needs on perception. This movement provided the basis for a revival of interest on the topic.

Marcel’s string of experiments on subliminal perception in cognitive science was perhaps the most significant. Marcel used demonstrated semantic priming with the use of pattern masking. The methodology deployed in these studies was subsequently improved with the criticism of Marcel’s studies. This later led to the critics’ acknowledgement of subliminal perception as a distinct reality.

However skepticism abounds with the allegation that advertisers sold subliminal audiotapes which could not be substantiated. There have also been the ridiculous allegations that there is a global plot to conceal the positive research data on these.

But the possible influence of unheard or unseen messages can also not be out rightly discounted. Though this may sound cynical, yet this is not sufficient reason not to continue building upon the present studies.