Suddenly the sunlight broke through the clouds and flooded the area with warmth and hope. Birds appeared as if out of nowhere, and way off in the distance, the arc of a rainbow emerged, then slowly disappeared. I returned to the house to help the children prepare breakfast.

A little later in the day, I drove around the neighborhood. Trees were uprooted, power lines cut, and debris scattered all over, but fortunately, no one was injured. Within a few days, most of these unfortunate situations would be corrected. There would be a lot of complaining, and some who had sustained more damage than others would look around and ask, “Why me?” Every time I hear someone say that, I cringe. “Why me, Lord? Why not the other guy? Why did you let me lose my job or my home or whatever?” How selfish we can be at times. Is it less terrible if it happens to someone else but more terrible if it happens to me?

The point,I surmised, is not that things happen to me or to others, but that things happen. It is for us to learn from what is happening and to know that it will not continue forever.Life is a flowing river a river that’s always changing. All things change and today’s pauper could be tomorrow’s prince,or today’s indifference could be tomorrow’s mourning. Even the weather is an indicator of the constancy of change. Last night and this morning, heavy rains and gale force winds; now, beautiful sunlight and gentle breezes. There will always be changes in the world, but something within me was saying that a part of me a part of all of us is changeless and beyond the reach of storms. That part has been with us from time immemorial, and in our quiet moments, if we listen carefully, we can hear it speaking to us.

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What makes a person beautiful? Our society places an inordinate amount of emphasis on being thin, made up, wearing the “right clothes”, being seen in the “right places”, having the “right breast size”, and the list goes on. What happens to girls and women who subscribe to these societal beliefs? Plastic surgeons profit, the make up industry soars with increased sales, diet pills and diet plans, whether healthful or not increase to phenomenal sales levels. But what happens to the women? Men fall victim to this as well, but for whatever reasons, girls and women are the most susceptible. Depression, eating disorders, self esteem issues abound.

The driving force in a woman’s physical beauty is actually her health, not her breast size or cost of her clothing. Health including both her physical, and emotional health. When a woman is physically healthy, there is an attractive glow about her. When a woman is emotionally healthy, that glow is magnified and radiates for the world to see. There is a light, a spark, an energy that ignites.

A beautiful woman is kind, gentle, thoughtful, unselfish, and patient. Slow to speak so as not to respond in anger when provoked, she takes time to think before responding. She exercises wisdom and good judgment, she is humble, she works to continually learn and better herself and her abilities… Too good to be true? Not at all.

Well, what produces that kind of woman? The same thing that ultimately produces the highest level of emotional health. Thinking that is positive and life enhancing. After all, we are what we think! Actions follow the thoughts in the mind. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he”, Proverbs 23:7. The focus needs to be on thinking that is grounded in solid truth rather than swayed by the emotion of the moment. Where does that kind of thinking come from? Pop psychology, feel good therapy, drugs?

Actually that thinking and that kind of woman comes from a woman who lives her life for GOD first. That doesn’t mean someone who is a bible thumping judgmental hypocrite, that means someone who reads the scriptures and lives each day to the best of her human ability the way GOD intends for her to live. There are two ways a person can walk (figuratively speaking), “in the flesh”, or “in the Spirit”. When walking “in the flesh” the thoughts are of this world, satisfying whatever it is that is craved for at that moment. When walking “in the spirit”…Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts”.

God’s thoughts are higher than people’s thoughts. The trick is to aspire to think the way God thinks. “Whatsoever things are true, Whatsoever things are honest, Whatsoever things are just, Whatsoever things are pure, Whatsoever things are lovely, Whatsoever things are of good report: If there be any virtue, And if there be any praise, Think on these things.” Philippians 4:8. If you change your thinking, your actions will naturally follow. But it’s real effort. It doesn’t just happen, you have to MAKE it happen.

Have you ever questioned yourself or worried if you were a person that was about to accomplish something really big? Are you having doubts about your abilities on a regular basis? Are you comparing yourself a lot to people you admire? Thoughts like that are a sure sign that you are playing small!

Thoughts like that have the tendency to diminish your own inner power. The way you think about yourself is reflected in your everyday life. All depends on your attitude. Each one of us has these feelings about being worthless from time to time, and some of us have them their whole lives and they aren’t even aware of them.
Self-worth is a big topic in personal development issues. Someone with poor self-worth does not allow himself to see that he can achieve anything worthwhile.He will always find a reason to not follow the path of success just because he has to prove to himself that he is worthless.

This might sound kind of harsh but it is the truth and as long as this belief sits fast glued to his personality, a person will have difficulties to change her life. When you decide to start to work from home and create your own business you better be aware of your attitude. It is critical to watch what is going on in one’s mind and how you are dealing with challenges within your work from home business.

Are you setting goals, are you giving your full effort to them? How do you react in times of little or no success? Are you trying to better yourself every day in order to improve your abilities and chances for success without paying much attention to activities that didn’t work out so well? How badly do you want this success? Are you ready to do what it takes to obtain it?

A work from home business that is going to be successful requires some important character traits that you either already have or can obtain. It all starts with yourself. So you might want to take a deep and long lasting look at your “self”, and maybe you notice a few glimpses of what I have been talking here.
People with poor self-worth fail to see the incredible positive impact they could have on the world around them. They doubt their abilities, dismiss their talents and neglect opportunities to grow. In this way, they not only deprive themselves of valuable experiences, they deprive the world of the joy and abundance they could share.

Everybody in this universe is unique. Nobody is thought to be a copy of somebody else. Everybody deserves success and happiness in his life. The sooner you find out about your original self the faster you can get rid off the false attitudes that keep you on a low level of energy.

Do you resonate with some of these thoughts? Most of us do and it is nothing to be ashamed of. We are the only living beings on this planet who have such an incredible ability to learn and grow. Why do other “average” people succeed to work from home and make a decent income? Maybe they started out like you but then realized their utter potential and they got to work and started learning everything they needed to be successful in their work from home business.

If you think you are not good at something or don’t have the talent, sit down and learn it and prove to yourself that you can do anything you want. Just because you believe you don’t have any great talents right now, doesn’t mean you couldn’t develop some later.

Make a commitment right now to search and discover your natural abilities and share them with others. Let your dreams come true, don’t postpone any longer. Give yourself a chance and let your uniqueness shine. The world will thank you in a thousand ways.

I wish you all the success in the world for your work from home business.

Criticism is difficult to handle. None of us likes to hear the bitter truth about our mistakes and inabilities. But we face Criticism in life everyday and cannot escape it. We also v others so we know that it is a two way street. How to handle Criticism?

What To Do When We are Criticized?

Listen to the criticism and before you react to it, think about your strengths. That will give you positive input and make you ready to face the criticism squarely. Even if it is true that will give you the strength to face and do something about it other than an angry retort. Otherwise we may begin feeling angry and sometimes worthless.

Content of criticism-

Is the criticism true? Or it is misinterpretation of the facts? You may at times set aside your fears and emotions and look at the situation clearly. If need be ask the other person more details and their beliefs. Probably they believe something different than you. Once you talk to them and ask them about what can be done you will be on path to recovery rather than destruction.

The truth-

We criticize others. We believe that to be true. Similarly somebody criticizing us may feel that they are right and the criticism may well be true. What would you do then? What should we logically do when we know that we are weak in something? We should strengthen, right? So rather than worrying about the weakness, make that point strong in your life. Think of ways to improve and do it slowly.

Grudge and what to do about it-

Are you focusing on the person who criticizes you or on the content of the criticism? If you focus on the person your focus will shift to other person’s weaknesses and you will strike back with your list of criticisms. Instead focus on the criticism itself. Leave that person aside.

How to Handle Self Criticism?

There is a distinct difference between self criticism and criticism by others. Most of us are too happy to agree with whatever we bash ourselves with but when some body else tells us the same thing we attack right back. If I tell myself that I walk slowly that is Ok, but if my friend tells me the same thing, I take umbrage and tell them that that is not true at all. Why do we look at criticism so differently?

The trouble with this-

The trouble comes in two ways. If some body tells us something that is true we tend not to agree but if we criticise our selves wrongly we are too ready to accept that and go into a bout of depression. Expressions such as – I am no good, I am of no use, I always fail, no body appreciates me and so on are readily heard when some body criticizes oneself. The person believes them all and all efforts of self-help go to waste.

What to do-

If we treat both criticisms differently we will surely be in trouble. What should we do then? Let us look at this in another way to solve the problem. Remove the person who is making criticism from picture and only look at the criticism. Remove yourself or anybody else. That way you will only be paying attention to the criticism and will have no biased view. After this look at the criticism for truth. Is there any truth in this statement? Think logically and let no emotion enter the thoughts. With logic you will be able to analyze the situation clearly. If the criticism is wrong you will conclude that it is wrong and not true and vice versa. If you were to think about this any other way you would have reached a wrong conclusion.

Though many are afraid of change, our world today has made it decidedly clear that, like it or not, change is and continues to be a constant. Not only that, it is an increasingly consistent constant. Like it or not, there’s no avoiding this invitation to dance.

Yet if we have learned to flow with this dance, if we have found a way to see ourselves as a partner in the process of change, we have a chance. If we have been attuned enough to have caught a whiff of the winds of change even before it arrives, dreaming and planning and making ourselves ready, and if we are aligned with the Tao that is moving within the seemingly chaotic wind that change comes on, then the beauty in that change is ours for the beholding. We are not blindsided, we are a co-creator with a front-row seat.

To make matters better, we are not lost and tossed about when the storms inevitably come by. As a participant, we know when to hold still, and when to move. When to take cover, and when it is safe to come out again. We are intuitively strategic, gleaning the very best moments that arise while others who had expected only sunshine are running in circles, damp with fear.

But How?

Most of the time, we see ourselves as fixed. My name is Robin. I am a writer. I live in Annapolis, Maryland. I drive a gold Saturn four-door. I live with my partner Brian. My mother and father in-law are good friends. I eat mostly organic food. I can’t run anymore due to bad knees. This is my life.

This is what the folks in the Harry Potter books would call the Muggle view of life. Yet we are not fixed. Like Harry, there is more to us. More than even we know. And when we take on the role of dance partner in relationship to the changes that move around and through us especially the ones that seem forced upon us from an outside event that “more” is our god-send.

Doing The Two-Step

The first step in this new dance is to accept that we must become more than we thought we were, which includes letting go of more than we thought we could as well as offering more than we thought we had. In doing so, we draw on the inherent magic within for the creation of our true intentions. We step out of the role of victim, and determine ourselves to play with whatever materials we are presented with. With such an attitude, we can replicate the Taj Mahal with soda caps and Popsicle sticks.

Then comes the even more courageous step two. If we are going to find the beauty in being a creator in this life, and the mother of anything, we must accept that not only will we die, but what we create will die as well. (All of it will be reborn of course. That is just another layer in the larger creative chaos-to-harmony and harmony-to-chaos merry-go-round that is our existence.) The flower, the child, the businesses, the books, the marriages (even the ones that last until death), the name we carry, the car we drive all of it is going to go.

Yet even this has its inherent beauty. With death held respectfully in one hand, we have immediate access to how precious and beautiful all of life is. What is changing will never be again, and so our only option is to enjoy it in all its stages. To dance with wild abandon, as if this is all there is.

At what age do students have the greatest stress? Young parents might say preschoolers have the greatest stress. They are leaving their parents for the first time, and have many reasons to be afraid. Older parents say middle school students have the most stress, having just entered adolescence. Still others will cite secondary school as the time of greatest stress. Most agree, however, that the stresses of university life are very great.

Stress management among students in universities is a hit-or-miss matter. Some universities schedule optional stress management classes, but students often lack the time to attend. If they have the time, they lack interest.

Stress Management Keys

Specific keys will open the door to better stress management among students in universities. Some of those keys are being used, but others are lost or neglected. Without them, stress management is limited for the students. We will not attempt to list here every key, or to put them in any given order. Rather, we would like to suggest stress management keys that may be lost in the rubble of today’s society.

1. Clear definitions: Effective stress management among students requires clear definitions of words such as “stressor,” “stress,” “eustress,” and “distress.”

Students who do not understand clearly what stress is cannot be expected to succeed at stress management. They may be trying to manage stressors, thinking they are managing stress. The outcome may very well be increased stress rather than stress management.

Stress management among students in universities can begin only after they understand that the extra demands made upon them are stressors, not stress. They then must understand that their response to those demands constitutes stress. Finally, if they are to get a grasp on practical stress management, they will need to know that there are two kinds of stress. One, eustress, is beneficial. The other, distress, is detrimental.

Students who understand these concepts, and embrace them, have unlocked the first door leading to stress management.

2. Action Plan: With a firm understanding of the definitions, students are ready to formulate a stress management action plan. They are ready for the proverbial locking of the barn door to prevent the horse’s escape.

Armed with the knowledge that stress is the response to stressors, students can learn to control that response. They can determine to take specific, proactive steps to prepare for stressors. They can, in a sense, ambush the stressors as a step of stress management.

3. Stressor Identification: An important part of the stress management ambush is to learn to identify the enemy. A focused tertiary student will see stressors and know them for what they are. Every university student has stressors. All of us have unusual demands made on us. The key to stress management is to identify those demands as stressors.

In universities and colleges, stressors take the form of unaccustomed activities. Sharing a room with a stranger makes demands on a student. A new form of study is demanding. Financial resources and potentially new dating standards can be stressors.

Whether students are in Italy or Iowa, they are free of the constraints of home, and that freedom is a stressor. Freedom makes unusual demands on one who has not had it in fullness.

All of these and about 2000 more are stressors that a student must identify in order to engage in stress management.

4. Turning Distress into Eustress: Another key that helps unlock the doors to stress management is that of turning distress into eustress. Students often act as victims of their stressors. They believe they can do nothing but suffer. Stress management requires that they learn to turn a potentially negative response to stressors into a positive response.

Eustress, the beneficial stress, is what carries an excited, happy couple through the whirlwind of preparation for a large wedding. From the moment of the proposal, the couple may be surrounded by stressors. Extra demands, unusual demands are being made on them. Yet they are not depressed. The demands do not weigh heavily on them. They embrace them, and respond with smiles. They accept the challenge of getting everything done well and on time because they choose to accept it that way.

The same type of response can be enlisted on other occasions that call for stress management. Much of what students view as negative stress can be turned around, energizing them to excel.

Is this a false, rosy-tinted view of stress management? Not at all. Does this negate principles such as deep breathing, exercise, healthy diet, and regular sleep? No. As we said, this is not an attempt to provide every key to stress management. It is an effort to look at keys that are being neglected.

Stress management among students in universities can be stripped of many programs, drugs, and therapies if these keys are used well.

Dear Jane,

How can I let go of resentment towards my mother for being thin and lose weight myself?

I wanted to answer this question because, even if weight is not everyone’s issue, resentment and jealousy torture most of us at one time or another.

Jealousy is an indicator that we believe someone else has something that we cannot attain. We may experience jealousy about someone’s looks, their financial status, their popularity/success, or their personal life. But it all comes down to the belief that we can’t have what they have.

Why would we believe this unless we didn’t think we were equally deserving? So jealousy helps us recognize that we are feeling unworthy in some way. And unworthiness is the bottom line issue for almost all of us. The good news is that it’s curable.

To heal it, we have to change the question from, “How do I get what so-and-so has?” to “How do I get that I am worthy?” What I talk about in my book, Enough Is Enough!, is that we won’t necessarily wake up one morning with a belief in our own worthiness. Like any other belief, it takes repetition and practice to “get it.”

So how do you let go of resentment towards your mother for being thin and lose weight yourself? How do you get that you are worthy of having the body you desire?

Before eating or before opportunities to exercise, you ask what I believe is the most healing question you can pose:

“If I knew my worthiness in this moment, what would I do?”

Whether we want to lose weight or experience more love, success, or happiness, I recommend asking yourself this question at least ten times a day every day. You will find that as your sense of self-worth grows, you will suffer less from jealousy and resentment.