Monthly Archives: February 2010

What Have You Got To Lose By Reading One More Self Improvement Article… i.e. This One!

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There are a variety of self improvement articles available nowadays. You may be thinking that this is one of those, obviously.

What have you got to lose by reading one more self improvement article?

When you came the 40-year stage in your life, you will suddenly realize many things. You get to ask yourself questions. How will it be when I get to the end of my life? How do I feel about the life I lived?

Then someone gave you some self improvement articles while telling you that it is not yet too late. Does that mean anything to you?

You bet it does. The feeling of anxiety that will come next is just normal. Then you will feel confused because life had felt so good. You were happy, had a successful marriage, two wonderful kids, and a job you reasonably enjoyed. What was my problem?

It was your class ceiling. The “practical” and fear-based side that had convinced you all along that your passion and dreams had died.

Here are top ten shifts in perspective that can help you move your life to the next level. This self improvement article will assist you in breaking through your own glass ceiling to create the life you really want.

1. Give yourself permission to dream. You probably had no problem dreaming as a kid. What happened to your ability to imagine and dream about what you want and who you want to be? When was the last time you caught yourself daydreaming and appreciated it?

2. Stop looking outside yourself for happiness. Look inside. Increase your self-awareness. Get curious about who you are at the core. Cultivate and nurture a relationship with yourself.

3. Cover the basics. Take the time to address your personal needs. How can you focus on thriving in your life if you are in survival mode? Set up that meeting with a financial advisor, get your space organized, clean up the details that are wasting your energy.

4. Embrace your past and move on. Shift from “why it happened” to what I want to do about it now. Asking “why” is not a very empowering question. Asking what or how I want to proceed can be much more powerful and produce forward movement.

5. Remember that you are not alone. It is easy to feel overwhelmed with life. Seek support. Read more self improvement articles. They might help you figure about some things that are puzzling you.

6. Remember gratitude. Count your blessings. What is working right in you life? Make a list. Set aside a bit of time everyday to acknowledge what or who you are grateful for. The more you practice gratitude, the more you attract into your life things to be grateful for.

7. Court your passion. You still have your passions though it has been a while since you may have felt it flow. When are you the most alive and joyful in your life? Who do you most admire and what do they inspire in you?

8. Take action and take a risk. All the inspiration in the world is not enough to make you move your life to the next level. It takes inspired action to do that.

9. Keep breathing. You probably forget to take deep full breaths. We have all learned to constrict our breathing in response to stress. According to many self improvement articles, we not only need oxygen to stay alive, we need oxygen to give us energy and keep us healthy. Right now take 5 deep, full breaths.

10. Have fun. Call a friend, take a bubble bath, take yourself to an art museum or schedule a whole day out in nature. Put on some great music and dance till you drop.

And you thought this was just one of those self improvement articles.

Peers and Power Are a Potent Mix

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Excerpted from the forth coming “The Truth About Being a Leader…And Nothing But The Truth”

Have you ever walked into a high school locker room or a martial arts class? The smell that hits you is that of competition and sweat. In meeting rooms in organizations around the world, the dynamics, if not the aroma, are similar, as peers jockey for power in an adult version of sports competition.

It’s no accident that on feedback questionnaires of all kinds, peers tend to mark each other below scores received from bosses and direct reports.
When you enter a leadership role, it’s important to realize that the game has changed and your new peers may now see you as competition.

It’s usually not personal. A certain amount of distrust is natural, because, now or in the future, you and your peers will be in direct competition for roles, resources, and remuneration. And it’s okay, indeed healthy, to develop some caution regarding the motivation and moves of your peers. Otherwise, you could be in for a nasty surprise.

Consider Albert, who relied on another department’s research and fact finding capabilities. He soon found that their reports could be biased and that they did not give his group enough information.

Frustrated, he openly complained about the research department and refused to continue using their reports. But Albert soon realized he was burning bridges with his actions. He backed off and approached the problem differently.

Using feedback gleaned from asking his clients what they thought, he let the research department know how the biases and omissions in their previous reports had upset his clients. When the emphasis was on serving clients, not helping a peer and possible competitor, the research department recognized and responded to the need to cooperate.

Given that resources are usually stretched and the interests of departments often don’t coincide, developing trust with peers is tricky. Ideally, trust comes from knowing that a peer is able to put the organization’s interests before his or her own, and will give credit to other departments rather taking total ownership.

But don’t take it for granted that a peer will always act this way. Establish clear guidelines and expectations for your work together. For instance, if you have to split a commission, agree on the percentage split in advance. And constantly monitor your joint efforts, giving quick feedback about what’s working and what isn’t if your peers’ work diverges from the framework you set up.

In Albert’s case, he found that providing clear guidelines and expectations backed by others was the first step in creating a good peer group relationship. He also learned that he had to communicate constantly with and test the research team to be sure they were working toward compatible goals.

Remember, a peer today may be a boss tomorrow. See keep it clean and keep it clear and you’ll be happy that you did.

See more about Dr. Karen Otazo at http://www.globalleadershipnetwork.com Executive Coaching

The Importance Of Commiting To Your Goals

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How often do you see people who have succumbed to their current, sometimes ill-perceived, circumstances?

In extreme cases perhaps these people drink too much or take some other “home remedy” to self-medicate their feelings of inadequacy and/or hopelessness.

On a more conservative level, they may simply complain about being treated unfairly and/or feel deserving of something they think they’ve either earned or are entitled to.

When setting goals for future success, it’s imperative that you begin the process with a clear healthy mindset. One that empowers you with the realization that you, and you alone, possess the ultimate tool to improve your situation – Freedom of Choice is this tool.

No doubt you’ve heard others speak about the power of choice. The fact remains that in virtually all scenarios, each of us has the personal freedom to choose how we will respond to any given situation.

Those who choose NOT to choose will remain a self-imposed victim of his or her unique circumstances. Those who DO take control of, and responsibility for, their own situations have the ability to effectively prepare, respond, and take actions necessary to improve their lives.

So as we step into each New Year, new month, new week or new day, “STEP OUT”!

Take ownership of the challenges in front of you – and make some winning choices (which may not be easy choices, but will be the right winning choices) that will benefit you for the rest of your life.

Remember these important words by Leonardo da Vinci as you consider the obstacles in front of you. Make your New Year’s resolutions and conduct your goal setting with this in mind:

“Every obstacle yields to stern resolve.”

– Leonardo da Vinci

GOAL SETTING QUICK START

Goal setting doesn’t have to be a long drawn out process. While you should certainly take enough time to be thoughtful in your planning, the process itself is fairly simple.

Consider using the following “Quick Start” goal-setting process to start the year off with a clear vision of what is important to you and how you intend to achieve your New Year’s resolutions.

Reflect On the Prior Year

Note your achievements of the past year – list all of the good things that happened in the last 12 months. List names of new friends and people who have come into your life. Be as detailed as possible, listing the simple to the significant.

List the things that you are grateful for including Health, Friends, Family, Employment, Financial, Emotional, Spiritual, etc.

Note: If you have a job and live in a safe, warm place – you can be grateful that you have it better than a whole lot of other folks in this world. It’s a fact: Gratitude Improves Your Attitude.

Note your disappointments of the past year – list all the things that you did not like about the prior year. What caused you stress and unhappiness? Did you make choices that you wish you would have made differently? Did you associate with less than desirable people that limited your ability to achieve? Make the list as long as necessary – get it all on paper.

At the top of your list, write in big bold letters “Things I am resolved to never experience again!”

Create Your New Resolutions!

Determine what you want – not simply what you feel you need to do, but ask yourself specifically “What do I want?”. Ask this question under each of the following “Life Categories”: Health & Fitness, Family, Friends, Career, Financial, Emotional and Spiritual.

Why do you want it? – Get clear in your own mind why you want these things. Are these goals things that will serve you well? Will these goals help you to achieve a more fulfilling life?

If not, start over and get more clearly about what you really want for yourself and what your motivation or purpose is for wanting these things. You must understand why you want to achieve these goals, because the “purpose, is your ultimate motivation” to achieve your goal.

Every time you feel unmotivated, you will refer back to these statements and realize exactly why it is that you need to take another step toward achieving your goal. This really works if you apply it.

Create your M.A.P. – Master Action Plan!

Get specific! Write down the necessary action steps that you are committed to taking to achieve each goal. Ensure that you include at least 2 action steps that you can do “right now” that will get you on your way. Doing something now, or within the next 24 hours, will create instant momentum for you and you will be well on your way to achieving your goals.

Consider investing in a life management system such as FranklinCovey or Tony Robbin’s – Time of Your Life system. Tools like these are extremely helpful in teaching you more about yourself and how to effective set goals and maximize your time.

In addition, you’ll receive some wonderful tools (planner) that will assist you in connecting your everyday activities to your New Year’s resolutions and life-long goals.

Sound good? Then do yourself a favor and print this article and schedule some time (now would be good) to completing the quick start process.

Avoid the “Someday Syndrome”. Tomorrow never comes, and the road to someday always leads to nowhere.

Oh yes, almost forgot – remember that long list of disappointments you developed? Those things you said you are resolved to never experience again?

Make a point of destroying that list and celebrate your new goals and resolutions. (That “ugly” list isn’t anything that one little match can’t make quick work of.)

Unreasonable Requests

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“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” — George Bernard Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionists

It is probably the number two task of leadership — asking. You ask people to do things, and when they do — well, stuff happens.

But what really extends your ability to make big things happen is asking for things that are “unreasonable.”

What is unreasonable? Asking people for things you have no right to expect from them, which under ordinary circumstances, you would expect them to say, “no.” But asking anyway.

The trick is to expect them to say yes, and not worry about whether they do or they don’t.

Create a game in your business. The game is for everyone to continually be unreasonable in what they ask of each other. And not just internally — externally as well. Include all your stakeholders in this game. (You choose whether or not to tell them about it the game.) Do you think this game could rocket your project forward?

If making requests is not a normal activity for most people in businesses, unreasonable requests are doubly abnormal. Most of us don’t want to risk rejection — so we ask for small things, easy things, wimpy things, and make it easy for people to say yes.

Keeping your requests small is a good strategy if you are no-o-phobic, but it limits your results.

The action in your business is moved forward in direct proportion to the size of your requests, so to move things along quickly, you have to ask big.

Think of what changes would make your requests unreasonable. Whatever you were going to ask for, ask for more. Whenever you wanted it, ask for it sooner. Whatever you were willing to pay or trade, ask for it for less, or free. You get the idea.

Make your requests larger. Bigger. Faster. Cheaper. Outrageouser.

Make them unreasonable.

Learning New Things To Improve Memory

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Keeping our brains active can help improve memory performance. While the old tried and tested method of repetition is still an important part of memory techniques, we also need a bit of novelty to keep our minds awake and to stimulate our brains.

We all have times when we’d love to be able to improve memory for school tests, college exams, business presentations or even just in our day to day lives. Pregnant women are particularly prone to memory loss, and often seek ways to improve memory. Age is also a consideration; as we get older, our ability to remember things slows down and we find ourselves misplacing things or forgetting appointments.

By learning new information, we can help improve memory in the long-term. The part of our brain that produces the chemical dopamine responds better to fresh images, ideas and experiences, and can improve memory retention more effectively that simply repeating the same information over and over again. To improve memory techniques, there are plenty of things we can do in our day to day lives:

Improve memory with word games.

By simply doing the crossword or word game in your daily or Sunday newspaper, you’ll help improve memory by learning new words or phrases. Each day will bring a new challenge so you will be stimulating your brain regularly.

Improve memory with number challenges.

Sudoku is a popular number game, but there are many other number puzzles you can try to help your quest to improve memory. Again, you will be keeping your brain active and opening up your mind to new challenges on a regular basis.

Improve memory learn a language.

Exposing your brain to anything new will help improve memory function, but learning a language can be a particularly rewarding experience. You don’t need to go as far as taking classes, simply watch some of the foreign language learning programs on TV or learn a few words of Spanish or French, for example, each day.

Improve memory play an instrument.

This is another fun way to get round the problem of increasing memory loss. Picking up a guitar or sitting for an hour or two at a keyboard could be a great way to improve memory performance. You’ll be stimulating your brain function by practising new chords or melodies!

Of course, many of us lead very busy lives and don’t always have the time to take up a new hobby or pastime. We can still improve memory techniques in our day to day lives, simply by paying attention to the things around us. Instead of walking or driving home in a daze, we can help improve our memory just by looking around!

Love Addiction, Approval Addiction

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In my experience as a counselor for 40 years, I have found that love addiction and approval addiction are far more prevalent than any other substance or process addictions. We live in a love-addicted, approval-addicted society.

What does it mean to be love/approval addicted? Below is a checklist for you to see if you are addicted to love and/or approval. Believing any of these may indicate love or approval addiction.

I believe that:

* My happiness and wellbeing are depended upon getting love from another person.

* My adequacy, lovability, and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem come from others liking me and approving of me.

* Others disapproval or rejection mean that I’m not good enough.

* I can’t make myself happy.

* I can’t make myself as happy as someone else can.

* My best feelings come from outside myself, from how other people or a particular other person sees me and treats me.

* Others are responsible for my feelings. Therefore, if someone cares about me, he or she will never do anything that hurts or upsets me.

* I can’t be alone. I feel like I’ll die if I’m alone.

* When I’m hurt or upset, it’s someone else’s fault.

* It’s up to other people to make me feel good about myself by approving of me.

* I’m not responsible for my feelings. Other people make me feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, shut down, or depressed. When I’m angry, someone makes me feel that way and is responsible for fixing my feelings.

* I’m not responsible for my behavior. Other people make me yell, act crazy, get sick, laugh, cry, get violent, leave, or fail.

* Others are selfish if they do what they want instead of what I want or need.

* If I’m not connected to someone, I will die.

* I can’t handle my pain, especially the pain of disapproval, rejection, abandonment, the pain of being shut out – the pain of isolation and loneliness.

Living as a love or approval addict is a very hard way to live. You have to constantly make sure you say the right thing, do the right, and look right in order to get the needed love and approval. Your feelings are on a roller coaster from feeling the wonderful feelings that come from getting your love or approval “fix” to feeling the despair that comes when your “supply” the source of your love and approval – shuts down, gets angry or judgmental, or goes away.

THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF LOVE AND APPROVAL ADDICTION

Love and approval addiction is rooted in self-abandonment. Imagine the feeling part of you as a child your inner child. When you are love or approval addicted, you have handed your inner child away for adoption. Instead of learning to take responsibility for your own happiness by loving and approving of yourself, you have handed your inner child away to others for love and approval making others responsible for your feelings. This inner self-abandonment will always cause the deep pain of low self-worth, making you dependent upon others for your sense of worth.

The sad thing about all of this is that love is the most abundant thing in the universe. We live in a sea of love it is always within us and all around us. It is our Source. When you learn to open to Spirit/God/Source, you become filled with love, with peace, with joy. The empty place within that yearns to be filled becomes so filled with love that it overflows to others. You find yourself desiring to give love rather than always trying to get it.

As long as you make others your Source, you will not find the love, peace and joy that you seek. By learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach, you can learn to fill yourself with love and heal your love and approval addictions.Are you love or approval addicted? Most people are. The following checklist will help you to determine your level of love or approval addiction.

Rejection: Why Devastation and Paralysis Don’t Have to Follow

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We’ve all been there…we asked someone for something…a date, a job, a raise, a loan, help in doing something, forgiveness, love, a recommendation, and so on, and we were rejected. Or we started up a business…like a restaurant…but then not enough clients came…and so we felt rejected. Oh the devastation inside! The feeling of utter failure…and yes, rejection.

Rejection gives rise to many feelings that make us doubt our own self-worth, that cause us to put great big question marks around our value as men, women, human beings. The fact that we have been rejected makes many other accomplishments we may have under our belt pale in comparison. We arbitrarily give the rejection tremendous power over our own judgement of ourselves.

Inner Security

Inherent in this lies not only our sense of self esteem, self acceptance, and self love, but more importantly, our sense of self confidence, or to put it in slightly awkward, but more exact terms, our sense of inner security about ourselves.

In other words, if we have a strong sense of inner security, and if we believe with all our being in the essence of our value as a human being, as a man, or a woman, then rejection will merely appear to be a mild ripple in a pond on a warm summer day. If, however, our sense of inner security depends on validation from sources external to ourselves, then rejection may appear to be as overwhelming as a category 5 hurricane, and in its devastating and annihilating power, sweep us off our feet, robbing us of initiative and pro-activity.

Success After Rejection and Failure

This is the insidious power of rejection to paralyze us. We fear what we call failure, and failure is implicit in rejection for those who identify their self-worth and inner security with external approbation and acceptance. And yet, remember what you may have read on numerous occasions: how often was Abraham Lincoln rejected by the electorate, for Congress, for the Senate, and ultimately for the Presidency, before he was finally elected? Did this stop him from trying again? How often did Edison’s attempts at inventing a usable light bulb end in failure? Did this stop him from trying again? Beethoven was considered hopeless at composing by his music teacher…evidently this did not stop him from doing precisely that. The New York Times pronounced the idea of television as something the average family would never want in their homes, and Warner Brothers said talking movies would never be a success, and this clearly did not stop all those who were promoting these ideas.

Preventive Measures

We must be aware of the power of rejection, and therefore take preventive measures in order that when we meet up with it, it does not take the rhythm out of our lives. Clearly, no one is entirely impervious to rejection, and no one can totally ignore it. Indeed, on occasion rejection may indicate that steps must be taken in order to improve on something that is not giving the desired results. An author, for example, faced with numerous rejections from publishers, may consider some of their suggestions for improving the manuscript. An actor who is rejected after each audition, may consider taking some additional acting classes. A politician who is rejected in each election, may consider carefully examining the position he or she takes on specific issues.

However, and this is very important, even if the rejection causes a person to try to improve something, the fact of the matter is, that the worth and value of that person are no different before and after upgrading their chosen activity. And it is precisely this which people with a negligible sense of inner security do not see. Therefore it behooves every individual to work on building up and expanding this sense of inner security.

Life in the Fast Lane to Inner Growth

This means self-awareness has to become the name of the daily game. In particular, each and every day self talk must be observed. What are you telling yourself? How are you reacting in given situations? What are your feelings about the events that occur? Once you get a handle on what goes on inside of you at least for a portion of the time (because to become conscious of all of this all of the time, takes a while, and a bit of discipline), then you can get a feel for where your inner security needs some tweaking.

Recognition of Patterns Leads to Freedom

Try to see a pattern in your self talk, your reactions, and feelings. Remember to also take stock of your physical reactions at each of these steps…is your breathing suddenly more shallow…or is your solar plexus twisting in pain…or perhaps there is suddenly a lump in your throat. Become conscious not only of the pattern of your thoughts, self talk, reactions, and feelings, but also of the pattern of your body’s reactions.

Most likely the pattern will be dancing around the issue of how you tend to make mistakes, or how you are supposed to be perfect, or how dumb you are, or how you can never get it right, or how people just don’t seem to like you, or another variation of this same theme. Seeing the pattern will help you counteract it, because on those occasions where you actually catch yourself “in the pattern”, once you have established what it is, you will be able to bring consciousness or awareness, rather than blindness, into the reaction. So you will be able to turn the thought, or the reaction, or the feeling into something more positive, more self-affirming, something that, in other words, works affirmatively on your sense of inner security. Once you have begun this process, observe how you begin to feel differently when you get a new rejection. This is another step towards the inner freedom so often mentioned in these articles. Go for it!

The author grants reprint permission to opt-in publications and websites so long as the copyright and by-line are included intact and the article is not used in spam.

What Really Makes You Tick?

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Be all you can be, but it’s not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it’s hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we’re all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn’t even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?
The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?
Today’s generation has taken another level of redefining ‘self’, or at least that’s what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it’s the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn’t appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What’s the bright side in all of this?
With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I’m doing?
There’s always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn’t take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we’ll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?
Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you’ll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?
It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?
So maybe I don’t have an answer to that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?
I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it’s more on how badly you really need it. I’d like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?
What motivates you? It’s an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It’s not like you can’t have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that’s it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?
So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it’s something that you really want.

Find more self-improvement related info and similar program at http://www.selfimprovement.thegreat.info

To Realize your Dreams, Focus on Significance, not Success

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“The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success, but on significance.” – Oprah Winfrey

What if true fulfillment could be found not in what we achieve, but in the significance of what we do?

Often, when we think about setting goals for ourselves, we think about what we could have or do that would bring us great success. We dream of a promotion, being on TV, winning the lottery, going on exotic trips, and of the proverbial, shiny red corvette. All these things represent a form of success that we imagine being available for ourselves.

It seems reasonable that winning the lottery or getting a new car would increase our standard of living. After all, who couldn’t use more money or a better car? However once we’ve made it to one level of success, we rarely take a moment to appreciate it before moving on to the next. The material object we desire has been captured, and the chase is over.

It is instances like this where we have failed to make a true difference in our own lives. By focusing on objects of success, rather than objects of significance, we have created a continuous cycle of disappointment.

How is focusing on success different from focusing on significance?

We all have a slightly different idea of what success is, based on our own opinions of what it takes to have, be, and do ‘more’ or ‘better.’ In this sense, the things we feel successful about are measurable things in our life. Getting the promotion means we have succeeded in acquiring a measurable result. Winning the lottery is a measurable result, as is making it onto Jeopardy(tm), visiting Nepal, or owning a corvette.

We also have our own opinions of what is significant in our lives. Our families, friends, spiritual commitments, and health are just a few examples. Sometimes we sacrifice experiences and actions that would make a profound impact in what we would consider significant in our lives, because we are blinded by the more appealing, “successful” solution that will make us look really good.

If your dream is for your children to grow up to be healthy, have solid values, and be productive citizens, which would make a more significant impact in their lives? You getting a high-paying job where you travel a lot and aren’t home often, but have plenty of money to pay the bills, treat them to movies, and pay for their college tuition? Or would your dream more significantly be fulfilled by taking on a lower-paying job where you are home more, available to spend time with them creating memories, and allowing them to take on the responsibility of paying their way through school?

Neither of these options is “right” or “wrong”, but they will each have a very different results. Each year millions of parents make decisions just like this, and many opt to be financially successful, because they equate having money to being a good parent. They were brought up, perhaps not having a lot of money, and recognize opportunities that they can make available to their kids using money as a tool.

For another example, let’s say that since you started your marketing firm, your dream has been to help home-based businesses reach their market expansion dreams. Like all marketing and media firms, you are bombarded with opportunities to win awards and prestigious recognition for the work you do. The issue is that in order to win the awards and gain much desired exposure, you must alter the way you do business.

Will you continue to run your business in a way that significantly impacts the lives and futures of your clients? Or will you choose to chase the images of success that lie in awards and recognition? Is it possible to do both and still fulfill upon your mission?

If your dreams are a classroom, significance is the genuine learning experience, and success is a standardized test. While you are experiencing true learning and growth, you might learn what you need to ace the test, but when you teach only for the test, you miss out on a lot of wonderful experiences that aren’t related to the final exam.

Figure Out the Pebble in Your Shoe

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“By asking for the impossible, we obtain the best possible.” ~ Italian saying

If you are serious about achieving a more meaningful life then you’ll need a new perspective for viewing your life and your career. The following exercise is a new method for going through your day and your week. It’s a new sense of being alive being responsible, being at choice, and being the architect in your life.

Tomorrow, you’ll be totally conscious about everything you do, see, say, feel, smell, taste, and who you are being. Use your notebook, journal or computer file to capture notes, thoughts, and insights.

Exercise: A Totally Conscious Day

Notice everything! Write down your observations using 1-2 words or several sentences. There is no wrong or right way to do it.

As soon as you wake up, notice the first thoughts that enter your mind. Write them down. Go into the bathroom. Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Really look! Smile. Spend a minute looking into your eyes. Smile goodbye. Write down feelings or thoughts you experienced.

As you get ready for work, notice everything the rhythm of brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, the motion your arm makes as you stroke on your makeup, etc. Write down any thoughts or describe any pictures that come to mind.

On your way to work, notice your surroundings. What are the buildings like? What does your route to work smell like? Can you smell the restaurants, factories, etc? Do you smell trees in bloom? As you get closer to work, what sensations do you notice in your body? Write down every observation.

When the day is over, spend a few quiet minutes in bed reading your notes. Do you remember things you didn’t capture before? Write them down in a different color pen than your notes from earlier in the day. Finally, spend five minutes writing your impressions of what you captured and what you experienced being totally conscious.

This exercise provides a lot of perspective and insight, but you have to actually DO it not just read the directions and say, “That sounds like a great idea. I’ll try it later.” It’s really important to “get clear.”

This first step is critical to your success. If you make the decision to become conscious to become completely aware of what is really going on you become aware of what it is that you really want. We often become excited after participating in a workshop, attending a seminar or reading a book. We think, “Oh, this is it. This is the thing that’s going to change my life.” However, we don’t make the decision to start, to take action. Or we may think that by simply reading a book, it will somehow magically change our lives: “The information is going to float over me and my life is going to be different.”

When the pebble in our shoe bugs us enough, we pick up a book or attend a seminar. We briefly take off our shoe. We enjoy the comfort of the idea of not traveling with the pebble in our shoe anymore.

When the seminar or book is finished, we put our shoe back on over the pebble. Then we start our journey again. We feel a little lighter and more enthusiastic, because of encountering new material. So the pebble is barely noticeable. However, we never made a decision a conscious choice to remove the pebble or get shoes that keep the pebble from falling back in again.

We never really get started.

Whether you know what you want to do or no longer want that quiet, nag pebble in your shoe the realization that you need to make a change and take action is a great place to be. When you make the decision to move forward, it’s truly a momentous occasion. Today, you are finally awake.