Get A Handle On Teenage Stress Management

In today’s performance driven society people are forced to deal with stress at very a young age. Teenagers are constantly driven to compete for the best or the highest at school, amongst peers they are constantly fighting for acceptance usually based on how “in” they are with today’s trends. The way they talk, dress and act are all governed by standards set by the media and cultural icons.

Introducing Teenage Stress Management at Home?

Children are motivated and driven, even bribed to perform well from a very young age. Course materials and parental expectations usually work up a great deal of stress that neither the child nor the parent recognize or address. As soon as the child enters into his/her teens, there are a lot physiological changes that take place which adds a great deal to the already existing load of stress. Let’s look at three very important aspects of teenage stress management.

1.Communication

The first step towards teenage stress management is that you establish and keep communication lines open. You should be able to talk with your teenager at any time you need to and he/she should be able to do so, too. This habit should be cultivated right from childhood when you should establish a feeling in the child’s mind and heart that you are there any time he/she needs to talk with you.

2.Prefatory Counseling

Preparing the child for the changes he/she will face is another extremely important step in teenage stress management. This prefatory counseling should happen well in advance. For example a child should be told about the changes in their bodies when they are around 11or 12 years old; they should also be assured that everything is normal and expected.

3.Telling the truth

Teenagers usually suffer greatly when parents do not pull along. When there is a divorce in the family they tend to blame themselves for the fall-out between the parents. Keep the children in the loop if you are not pulling along and try as much as possible to keep your arguments private.

In the case of a divorce teenage stress management would involve telling the truth. Never lace up the truth or try to give it some sort of artificial flavor. The children deserve to know the truth.

Get A Handle On Teenage Stress Management

Self Management to Stop Stress

Not enough time, boss pushing for work to be completed, children are annoying you, bills to pay, shopping to be done, housework to do, partner asking for your help…

Does this seem like a familiar scenario in your life? Stress is always with us controlling what we do and how we feel. If you’re stressed you do things faster and in an unhappier way. You either become aggressive towards other people as a form of releasing the stress or you become submissive by hiding the stress.

By being submissive and hiding your stress, it internally eats at you hurting your emotions and your relationships. By being aggressive towards another person, you temporarily feel relief, but then reality kicks in as you feel more stressed from hurting the other person.

You need to learn ways to manage your stress and not let it get the better of you and the people around you. Stress motivates us to take action but it too often works against us. I’ve come up with the best ways and techniques to manage stress:

1) Leave others alone – If the other person is not involved, leave them alone. It is so tempting to release your stress on other people. Do not treat people inappropriately. By treating them the way they do not want to be treated, you build up their stress which they will be happy to put back on you. If someone is causing stress, you need to address the person explaining to them how you feel, why you feel that way, and what can be done to solve the problem.

2) Responsiblity – When you take responsibility, you live in truth. You do not become a victim of others. You begin to control and create your feelings. You stop blaming others for what has happened to you and you become proactive controlling thoughts, feelings, and stresses. By accepting responsibility as way of managing stress, you begin self-control.

3) Stop worrying – worrying is extremely dangerous for your health. By worrying you increase the chances of having a heart-attack and you become miserable which damages your relationships. Worrying is about anticipating what’s to come and doing nothing about it. If you did do something in anticipation of the future, you would then be planning and not worrying. You try to think what will happen in the near future, but nothing more then unnecessary thoughts occur. “What if…” “What will happen…” . STOP LIVING IN THE FUTURE and think about what you can fully control now. That is, think about today!

4) Self-control – You are in complete control of your emotions. Its learning to manage your mind that you correctly manage your stress. This is where your self discipline kicks in. Other people do not have access to your mind unless you give them the authorisation. You have complete control of your emotions and actions. However, you’re ability to be in control of your emotions and actions is dependent on your desire, discipline, and skill set.

5) Self understanding – You need to manage yourself and control your emotions. You need to be aware if you are treating a person in an appropriate way because of the stress. You need to know that you are stressed, why you are stressed, and ways to manage the stress.

6) Don’t stay still – When feeling down, it is easy to throw in the towel and give up. Winston Churchill said “If you are going through hell, keep going.” Don’t stop and give up. I encourage you to stop, relax, and be smart, but do not lose the perserverance to keep going. If you are going through a bad patch in life, by stopping there you remain in the bad patch.

7) Get away – You may just need to go away for a bit to refresh your mind. If you can afford a holiday, go for it! For those who can’t do that, go for a walk or work-out. By being active you release hormones that counteract stress. Also, by being away from the stress it clears your mind by taking it away from the problem.

Stress is not meant to make us miserable. We are given the ability to produce stress to complete tasks otherwise we would be sitting on our lazy backsides. Learn these ways to manage your stress, and you’ll have stress working for you and not you for it.

Self Management to Stop Stress

Getting Help For A Friend Who Struggles With Fear And Anxiety

Getting help for a friend who struggles with fear and anxiety can be tricky. He or she may be reluctant to get help or they may be scared. This is the time that your friend needs you the most. With this in mind, here are some suggestions on how a person can help his or her friend with their anxiety.

The first step a person should do is to convince their friend to get professional help. Explain to them that they must decide to get the help they need to overcome their anxiety. Nobody can do it for them. Explain to them that seeing a professional will really help them in the long run and that it is in their best interest to get this help.

Remind them that is hope and there are solutions to their anxiety problems if they seek treatment. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. Try to convince your friend that there are ways to manage your persistent anxieties and fears, however they must make the effort to learn these techniques.

When your friend is struggling, be there for him or her. Be supportive of your friend and try to help him out during his struggles. Dealing with fear and anxiety can be tough so give your friend a break when he struggles with his fears and anxieties.

One technique that you can use is to learn from your fearful and anxious situations. In every stressful situation that you experience, begin to learn what works and what you can do to improve. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a stroll around your local park. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a short walk.

Taking advantage of the help that is available can go a long way in managing your fears and anxieties. When you are with your friend, you need to remind him or her of this fact.

Getting Help For A Friend Who Struggles With Fear And Anxiety

Refine Your Work Life Balance by Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is essential for a healthy work life balance. That sounds true, but what does it mean? What do healthy boundaries look like, and how can you know where and how to set them?

I notice a tendency among small business owners and free agents to think of boundaries as ways to keep something or someone out, as if they could achieve work life balance in this way. This emphasizes protection of their time, energy, and resources. This kind of boundary is a line in the sand. When a customer, colleague, or vendor crosses the line, an alarm goes off, signaling the business owner to say “No.”

Because most owners want their businesses to be accessible and to offer excellent service, they are naturally conservative in setting this sort of boundary. After all, they want to say, “Welcome” to prospective customers and partners, not “Keep Out.” As a result, they set boundaries at the last possible point to keep invaders at bay.

I’ve done this, by the way, so I know of what I speak. I know how confining this sort of boundary can be. There is no room to move. There is barely room to breathe. The longer this boundary stays in place — even if no one ever tries to cross it — the more confined, cramped and edgy those inside the boundary will be.

After working inside this boundary for a while, it is natural to become unbalanced, impatient, cranky, even resentful. It is uncomfortable inside this boundary, and it feels as though this is the fault of those pushy customers, colleagues, and vendors out there. After all, if it weren’t for THEM, you’d be out in the fresh air.

But wait — a client is not an invader. A vendor is not a spy. A business is not a castle on a hill, placed there for strategic advantage against enemy forces. Let’s take a big breath and take another look at this business of setting boundaries.

What if boundaries were not last-ditch protections against marauders? What if you set them so that they were lovely, sturdy fences defining a spacious and resource-rich territory in which you can do your best work and enjoy your life at the same time? What if boundaries created a pasture rather than enclosing a cell?

Further, what if boundaries were designed to let in light and air? What if you could see out and others could see in? Working inside of these boundaries is quite a different experience. For one thing, there is plenty of room to move. When someone approaches your boundary, you have lots of choices about how to respond.

Maintaining these healthy boundaries feels entirely different, too. With what pride of ownership and delight in the scope of our pasture we walk the fence line. How pleasing it is to oil the latches on the gates, to replace broken posts, to trim the hedges.

Check in with your boundaries this week. First, notice what constitute the fence posts and gates in your business. Are they the hours that you work? The rates you charge? The terms you offer for special services? Get familiar with the structural elements you can use to build your beautiful fence and gate.

When you have identified those elements, look at where you have set them. Do your rates give you room to do your best work? Do your working arrangements give you breathing space? Examine your boundaries, and notice if they are giving you room to live and to do your best work or cramping your style. Experiment with moving your boundaries out a bit, not to keep your customers away, but to create a bigger space from which you can serve them wholeheartedly and well, maintaining a healthy work life balance.

Refine Your Work Life Balance by Setting Healthy Boundaries

Spirituality Information – Journey In The Fields Of Forever ( Part 15 )

“Well,” I asked, “what are you doing in this neck of the woods? I know you just didn’t happen to be passing by? You must have something specific in mind that’s why you’re here.”

“He seems to know us only too well, Marla,” Gideon said with a wink. “But then again, John, we don’t always need a reason to see you.Friends, no matter where they are, love to get together just for the fun and enjoyment of each other’s company. You’re a dear friend of ours and we love your company.”

“If you love my company so much, how come I haven’t seen either of you in years, except for last week, of course?” There was a noticeable edge of sarcasm in my voice.

Marla responded, “It’s like this, John. Both Gideon and I were temporarily called away on another assignment.There were others who remained to assist you when needed, but we had to leave for a while. We did keep up on the reports about you and learned that you’d managed to come through some very difficult times. However,weknewyou’dalwayscomethroughanydifficulty.” “I always assumed you knew about my situation. And of course, the moment I finished struggling with one problem, there were bigger and more difficult ones to deal with.” I looked from one to the other waiting for a reply.

“That’s how life is, John,” Marla said. “You finish one grade and then you pass on to another. You learn to count from one to a hundred, then from a hundred to any number. Then they teach you the multiplication tables followed by simple but basic principles of mathematics. Later come algebra, geometry, calculus and others. You could quit school if you wanted to, but you’d still have to go into something else. Anyway, why are we spending this gorgeous afternoon discussing such things? Tell him what we had in mind, Gideon.”

To read the rest of the story visit http://www.spiritual-simplicity.com

Spirituality Information – Journey In The Fields Of Forever ( Part 15 )

How To Improve Short And Long Term Memory – Some Simple Exercises

Learning how to improve short and long term memory is a common quest for many people journeying along the path of self improvement.

As you read through the whole of this article, with attention to detail and without skimming, you will discover some simple but effective tips. You will also discover a web resource that you will want to visit in order to get your free memory improvement guide.

We’re aware that its possible to strengthen our body through physical exercise but do we also know that its equally possible to improve the brain and consequently the short term and the long term memory, through regular, planned and increasing more challenging exercise.

Common research suggests that we can all improve our memory through simple daily brain activities.

Try these simple brain exercises right now and see an immediate improvement:

Can you remember 15 details of your life at the time of the death of Diana Princess of Wales? Or can you recall where you were when the news that Elvis had passed away was announced? Don’t force yourself to remember. It’s not a case of racking your brain. Indeed that would be an absolute hindrance to what we are trying to achieve. Simply relax and allow your mind to wander and for thoughts to come and go as they please. If possible close your eyes and allow the subconscious to paint its own colorful abstracts.

This activity is simple and is ideal if you desire to know how to improve short and long term memory.

How about trying this if on a long journey: relax again and set your mind a simple exercise and try to think of as many words with the letter as possible. Maybe choose a specific topic, such as names of people or animals, or minerals, or whatever. Then simply progress through the letters of the alphabet. Again there’s really no need to strive but just relax into the activity and allow your mind, the deeper thoughts to come through. You’ll be astounded with how much surfaces when you’re not trying.

Tat seems to be the case with our memory doesn’t it? In the frantic search for the car keys, something each of us has experienced we can’t for the life of it, find them. But as we stop the search and begin to relax the memory or the thought about where we might possibly look next comes up trumps and we find what we were so diligently seeking. Amazing, isn’t it!
Stress and Memory Improvement Techniques

Perhaps the greatest threats to our capacity to improve our memory is stress. You see when you are suffering from stress, in whatever form, your system will release high levels of cortisol into your bloodstream. Cortisol has the effect of destroying glucose – and, quite simply, glucose is the brain’s only source of food. So if your brain is not getting the nutrients it needs then it will not function as well.

There are many resources on the web that will teach you how to improve short and long term memory. All it takes is a simple Google search. More specifically you should also go to www.immensememory.com and enrol into the FREE University of the Mind Immense Memory Course. Peter Wellington is the author of “Immense Memory – University of the Mind.”

How To Improve Short And Long Term Memory – Some Simple Exercises

Cannabis Culture

During the 70s, smoking pot or cannabis was very popular. Since cannabis is a natural herb, people believed that it could not pose any ill effects on their health. People who smoke cannabis exhibit different physiological and behavioral effects. Most feel drowsy but generally happy, making this herb a favorite among teens. But of course, anything that is consumed in huge amounts is not good for you. Since there are evidences of cannabis abuse, many countries have considered the herb illegal.

Cannabis addiction, like any other addiction, causes changes in a person’s behavior. Majority of the people who become addicted to cannabis have issues of depression and low self-esteem. By smoking cannabis, they feel more uninhibited and their moods are also improved. Because of the wonderful feelings associated with smoking cannabis, these people end up addicted to it.

Becoming addicted to cannabis can also be as destructive as other addictions. When the effects of the herb wears off, the person experiences this uncontrollable urge to smoke pot again to regain the lost feeling. Soon, you will feel like you are unable to accomplish anything if you are not under the cannabis’ influence. You will begin having mood swings, feeling euphoric one moment and depressed the next. Aside from these, cannabis addicts also display behavior like disappearing for hours, lying about where they have been and stealing money to buy cannabis.

Treating cannabis addiction requires intervention. In most cases, a family member or a close friend would be the one who will arrange for the person to go to rehabilitation centers. It is very seldom that these cannabis addicts would volunteer to undergo treatment. At the rehabilitation center, cannabis addiction is treated thru counseling and medication, if necessary. The withdrawal stage is the most difficult part since it is the time when your body returns to its normal functions.

People who have completed treatment in rehabilitation centers for cannabis addiction are most likely to relapse because their personality shows a weakness to the herbal substance. Unless the behavior is changed, you can expect most of these people to pick up the cannabis addiction once again as soon as they get out of rehab.

If you have a friend who is visibly becoming addicted to cannabis, you could try hypnotherapy before resorting to rehab centers. There have been evidences that hypnotherapy is effective in treating addiction, fears and phobias by targeting the subconscious.

Cannabis Culture

Qualities of a winner

Out of millions, comes one big winner and out of billions, comes a winner who overtakes every other winner in the world. Look at the history of the world, and you will always find few individuals during a certain period who were winners of that time. Lincoln, Gandhi, Churchill, Roosevelt, were all winners of their time. Today we have winners in business field, but no one in the political arena. Mandela can be called as the winner of today’s world in politics. The question is not, who is the winner of a given time, but what makes a winner.

Even in a small classroom, one student outclasses every other. In a dance performance, one troupe member performs much better than others and the same is true in movies. We always find one actor who lived the character, while others only acted. Who is a winner and what qualities are needed to make a winner?

Overcoming Obstacles

Winners come across same obstacles as everybody else. But they take them as challenges. An obstacle can be treated as a hurdle or something that challenges the mind to overcome it. Winners take them as challenges and rather than getting frustrated, thrive on obstacles. Every new obstacle makes them sharper and better, while a large majority surrenders in front of the same obstacles.

Focus

The winners have focus. Rather than giving away their energy to small ideas, they focus on the larger objective and work towards that. It is like walking on a road. The winner keeps walking, whereas other mortals try to explore smaller streets that connect to the road. Walk towards the goal.

Hard work

Winners are not afraid of hard work. To achieve their objective, they work ceaselessly. There is no word such as tiredness in their dictionary. The objective of working towards the goal gives them so much energy that the tiredness finds no place in their scheme of things.

These are some of the qualities that define a winner. Many other qualities add up to make a true winner in the millions. Why shouldn’t all of us become winners?

Qualities of a winner

The Tao of Breathing

One of the impressions I have gained recently in speaking to Zen friends about practice is a certain attitude towards breathing in zazen. For the sake of brevity, and just for fun, I wish to refer to it as “samurai breathing”. I think it has its origins in the martial arts.

The “samurai breath’ goes like this: one must push down hard on the outgoing breath, concentrating on the hara (solar plexus) and in doing so, push aside any thoughts, feelings, sensations, that get in the way, smashing through them like a karate expert would smash their hand through a brick.

If you practise like this, it will give you a considerable feeling of power, like winning a contest (with yourself), and also give you a sense of purpose in a goal-seeking way (like paying off the mortgage). This type of straining zazen creates a heroic struggle out of zazen and a sense that you are trying very hard, but it is ultimately self-defeating. Perhaps it is part of the process of learning that we have to go through this struggle before we realise it is not productive.

When I see people practising like this, I have a mental picture of someone on an exercise bike peddling furiously, somehow believing that they are going to get somewhere if only they try hard enough. I then imagine someone coming up to them and whispering in their ear, “Excuse me, it doesn’t matter how fast you peddle, you won’t get anywhere on that bike. ” This is like the story of polishing a tile, believing if only it is done hard enough, it will become a mirror, or believing that one will become a Buddha after years and years of zazen, rather than realising that we are Buddha right from the very beginning.

When I began my zen practice many ago in Japan with Kabori Roshi, I was like the person on the bike furiously peddling to get somewhere. I listened with keen interest to other students talking about various breathing techniques, which I berlieved, if only I could get them right, would propel me towards realisation in no time. Needless to say, I tied myself up in knots trying to breathe the “right” way, even making myself sick in the process. After several months of this, I went to Kabori Roshi and told him about it in sanzen (Rinzai for dokusan). All he said was “Just breathe naturally”. I remember feeling a mixture of relief, confusion and disappointment at his comment. How could it be that simple?

Kabori Roshi was like the kindly person whispering in the ear of the stationary cyclist, “Excuse me, no matter how hard you try, you won’t get anywhere on that bike.” The message got through a little but, looking back, I wasn’t quite prepared to really give up my belief, that if only I pushed harder, I would get somewhere.

This happens all the way along in zen practice. Teachers keep telling us there is nothing to attain, but we don’t quite believe them, even though we may mouth the words to others. In everyday life we see people all around struggling to find happiness and peace, believing it will come when they finally get what they want, without seeing that this very moment holds all that one could desire. It is easy to see this delusion in others, but can you see it in yourself?

Coming back to the analogy of the excercise bike, it is not the practice of peddling we have to give up but the belief we are going to get somewhere if we do fit. As we give up this belief, (which is underpinned with the fear of failure) we can enjoy just peddling, and in zazen if we give up this belief, we can just breath naturally and our breathing includes the breathing of the currawong warbling in the crisp morning air.

The “samurai breath” after all turns out to be conceptual breathing, a fixed notion of what breathing ought to be, unlike the breath of the Tao which is open and just comes and goes of its own accord. When our breathing attempts to fit some conceptual pattern of how we ought to breath, we interfere with it, and are out of touch with ourselves. The mind/will should take its lead from the breath, rather than the breath taking its lead from the mind/will. When the mind/will takes its lead from the breath, then the mind/will and the breath are in harmony. When sailing, you trim the sails according to the strength and direction of the wind, not the other way round.

Aitken Roshi, when he was a student of Soen Roshi, asked him “When I do zazen should I use effort or not?” Soen Roshi replied, “The question reminds of Joshu’s question to Nansen in Case l9 of the Mumonkan – ‘ordinary mind is the Tao'”.

Joshu asked Nansen, “What is Tao?” Nansen answered, “Ordinary mind is the Tao.” “Then should we direct ourselves towards it or not?” asked Joshu. “If you try to direct yourself towards it, you go away from it”, answered Nansen. Joshu continued, “If we do not try, how can we know it is the Tao?” Nansen replied, “Tao does not belong to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is illusion, not knowing is blankness. If you really attain the Tao of no doubt, it is like the great void, so vast and boundless. How then, can there be right and wrong in the Tao?” At these words, Joshu was suddenly enlightened. Mumon, commenting on this said, “Even though Joshu may be enlightened, he can truly get it only after studying for thirty more years.”

Should we direct ourselves towards it or not? Should we use effort or not? Does Nansen mean just “go with the flow of the Tao” as this cliche has become known, as on some personal growth weekend where everyone lies around drinking herbal tea, looking dreamy-eyed and talking about the oneness of the universe? I remember Aitken Roshi once saying to a student, “When are you going to stop going with the flow and get into action?”

“Going with the flow” is just the conceptual opposite of “samurai breathing”. Dull and complacent zazen with no vitality or resolve, which is more accurately going with the flow of Taoist fantasy and natural therapy mysticism.

What is the right attitude then with which to breath? The right attitude is to have no fixed attitude. However from a practical point of view it can follow certain guidelines. I think of right zazen as like holding a baby in one’s arms. You hold a baby gently otherwise you will hurt it. You also hold it firmly otherwise you will drop it. Light but steady. Should you use effort or not? Try holding a baby.

The Tao of Breathing

Managing The Anxieties And Stresses Of Dealing With Your Finances

Many people get stressed out in managing their investment portfolios and their finances. In some months, your investments are doing good and the next month you may be losing money. The good news is that there are ways that a person can reduce their anxiety and stresses in taking care of their finances.

Get sound advice from a good financial professional. There are many financial professionals that can give you good advice on how to manage your finances. Listen to what they have to say and decide for yourself the best route you can take in terms of your investments and finances.

Develop a budget to manage your expenses. A budget will allow you to distribute your paycheck that will pay all of your bills and will prevent you from spending your money on things that you do not need.

Plan for any emergencies that may come up. Put aside a small amount of money from your weekly paycheck into an emergency fund. The purpose of the emergency fund is to provide instant cash for sudden, unexpected events. When something happens, you will have something to fall back on.

Learn to manage your spending habits. The more you spend on things that you do not need, the less money you will have for the future. There is nothing wrong with buying things that seem nice at the time. The point is that you need to spend your money wisely.

Stay out of debt. Pay off your credit card bills and try to get rid of your debts. There also many credit counselors you can talk to that will help you develop a plan to get out of debt.

These are some of the ways to manage your anxieties and stresses of dealing with your finances. Even if you do not make a lot of money, there are ways to reduce your expenses and develop a sound budget. The key is to knowing how to manage the money you do have.

Managing The Anxieties And Stresses Of Dealing With Your Finances