What Is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

One thing that is coming up more than ever is the condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Some were aware of it before this became the common name and remember it as shell shock. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a disorder suffered by rising numbers of people today.

It starts with events that are so traumatic for those suffering, that they can’t deal with it all at once, and shouldn’t be expected too. In wars, many soldiers experience horrors that were extremely beyond anything they could ever prepare for. This has been a strongly noticed issue on the rise since the many soldiers returned home from the Vietnam War.

It’s definitely not solely experienced by soldiers either, rather many have experienced post traumatic stress disorder from acts of violence around crime scenes, devastating losses, repeated abuses beyond imagination, and yet many more situations. The key factor often being the result is severely traumatizing to them.

The Many Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Whatever the cause, untreated, those with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder stand to deal with many side effects including sleep trouble, anxiety, depression, flashbacks, and even blackouts when these occur. While they came back, the issues of their trauma are still buried deep in their mind in full force. Often under lock and key to dwell on, or seemingly forget; though unlike other matters of life it’s far from forgotten. Hidden are vivid details and in this state it will simply show many other symptoms throughout everyday life.

One of the more extreme side effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is another disorder called Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), in which studies indicate all cases have PTSD as well. Split personalities seem to be one of the ways the human mind can deal with the trauma hidden back in.

How to Deal With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
It’s very unlikely that any individual can deal entirely with their own Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; however they will indeed need to be the major player in it. Professional Counseling is a good start for those believing they have PTSD.

First will be the diagnosis which will determine if Post Traumatic Stress Disorder exists in their case. This can be tricky at times though the steps professionals use become more refined from experience and studies. With a positive diagnosis treatment can begin.

Treatment can be a mix of counseling, support group, and quite possibly treatment for a number of other conditions that may be found. These may include anxiety, depression, insomnia, and more. For the patient, it’s important to try to keep up with it all.

One thing that will definitely be necessary when treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is unraveling the layers of emotional feelings, fears and other things that may have long been hidden and attempted forgotten. Learning to deal with these feelings and fears is the most important thing. Being able to find someone they can open up to about them and get the word out of their head will indeed bring long-term progress

In The End
Hopefully this article has informed you of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If you believe you or someone you know has this disorder, it would be very wise to find out. Hopefully not, though those that do, need help to get past their trauma. Once past it there is a lot of hope for a better life.

What Is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

An Attitude Change Is The Biggest Change You Will Ever Make

You may have heard it said before that an attitude change is easy. All you have to do is change everything about yourself. As crazy as it seems, it’s the truth. A change in your attitude will eventually involve everything about you. It’s easy and yet, the fact that you have to keep at it day after day after day is what makes it really hard. An attitude change requires a long term perseverance that few people have. That’s what makes it the biggest change you will ever make.

Attitude changes typically take place when something monumental happens in a person’s life that suddenly makes them see everything differently. This may be a near-death experience or some kind of tragedy that they weren’t expecting. People begin to see that life is extremely fragile and they begin to think that maybe the real meaning of life is contained in something other than the things they used to value so much. They begin to change their values to and to approach life from a new perspective about what is truly important. It doesn’t have to be a tragedy or a near-death experience, however, which brings this about. An attitude change can take place simply because you decide that you want to make yourself into a better person and you are determined to make that happen.

One of the most common reasons for bringing about an attitude change, besides a tragedy or near-death experience is the simple fact that a person becomes fed up with the life they have been living. They no longer see themselves as a worthwhile individual and they want to feel good about themselves again. Maybe it was just a little thing that went wrong in their life but it was somehow the straw that broke the camel’s back and now they are ready to really change their life. How do they get serious about this plan and make themselves actually stick to the new changes that they have in mind for themselves? What do they need to do to actually make this attitude change a reality?

One of the best ways to really make your attitude change stick is to join a group and make a commitment to go to that group several times a week in order to remind yourself about the changes you are trying to make. Other people can do wonders for your attitude and make you stick to the promises you have made for yourself simply because you feel more support from other people when you join a group. It really doesn’t matter who the people are in the group and whether you like them or not. This is not how an attitude change works. The change takes place because you make a commitment to make friends with some new people who are trying to do the same thing as you are trying to do; i.e. improve you life! You go to the group, not because the people are so great or you love them so much. You go to the group because you are trying to make yourself a better person and you know that you can’t really do it on your own. This is called humility and it is a primary ingredient in bringing about an attitude change in anyone.

You have to be able to admit that you can’t do everything on your own. People don’t become educated doctors or lawyers on their own. They go to school and classes to achieve this. Similarly, you can’t change your attitude and become a new person on your own. You need other people! If you are serious about making an attitude change in yourself, you will make a commitment to join a group and start working toward your goal with others who are also interested in the same thing. There are thousands of groups out there and you can find one that fits the interests you have to make a change. Attitude change is easy but it takes concerted effort over a long period of time. What better way to devote yourself to this long term goal than to try out a new group and make a commitment to help out each week. You will surely be on the road to success once you have made that decision!

An Attitude Change Is The Biggest Change You Will Ever Make

New Age Spirituality Morning Has Been All Night Coming ( Part 95 )

The following week was spent catching up with all the little tasks I had left undone. The memory of my visit with God was fresh in my mind, and I made even greater efforts to practice being in His Presence. I regretted not being able to obtain any specific information about Mardai, but I was content with the thought that I would soon find out more.

Saturday arrived and I found myself experiencing a strong undercurrent of excitement. Upon closer examination, I couldn’t find any reason for being so happy and, yet, it was a feeling I couldn’t shake. Sometimes I become miserable when I’m apparently happy for no reason, except that I rationally figure there is nothing to be happy about. It was only recently that I realized you don’t need a reason to be happy. In the middle of my reflections,the phone rang. I picked it up and said, “Hello.”

“Hi, John, this is Gideon.”

“Hi, Gideon. I’ve missed you and Marla,” I said.

As usual, he got straight to the point. “Today, you’ll have a visit from the Almighty. Remember our last meeting when He promised you a treat? Well, this is the day.” “Hold on,hold on, Gideon!” I bellowed. “Start over again from the beginning. What’s all this about?”

Gideon paused for a long moment, then said, “God’s coming to your house today. Marla and I will be with Him, of course.”

“God’s coming to see me? Why would He do that?” “You went to see Him, didn’t you? Why shouldn’t He come to see you? After all, you are trying to get closer to Him, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I know, but this all sounds so strange. God is coming to my house? I can’t believe it!”

“You’re probably wondering what the neighbors will think. Well, don’t let that bother you. He visits their homes, too, but most of them never see Him or acknowledge His Presence. What with all that concern about yard work, the cleaning, cooking,laundry and, of course, the children, who has time for God?”

To read the rest of the story visit http://www.spiritual-simplicity.com

New Age Spirituality Morning Has Been All Night Coming ( Part 95 )

The Hypnotic Voice The Vocals Of Hypnosis

It’s impossible to state with certainty whether a particular vocal level or tone has more success in hypnosis. There have been no scientific studies as far as I am aware. However, I think that naturally, people are more receptive to suggestions delivered in a neutral tone, and they’re less receptive to any information delivered as a command or in an authoritarian tone. It’s human nature. We don’t typically like to be told what to do. But this is not to say that either method doesn’t work.

Of course I am talking more about the use of hypnosis for therapy. For let’s not forget that stage hypnotists invariably use a stronger, more powerful tone of delivery. They have to. They’re putting on a show a for the benefit of hundreds of spectators. Plus they’re often talking to a group of people at the same time. In this forum, there is the entertainment factor which dictates the approach. The firm delivery of the stage hypnotist doesn’t seem to compromise the success of the hypnosis. A soft mellow voice or Mickey Mouse cartoon type voice would not work in this context.

As a hypnotherapist I personally prefer to speak in a normal voice, slowly, and use a soft, clear tone. This is the same regardless as to whether it is one on one in my office or on a self hypnosis recording. I want to use a voice that is conducive to relaxing. Certainly, I’ll stress certain words to emphasize them or have a word stand out, but I do this with a slight shift in tone or pitch, or by using a pause before or after a certain word. I don’t believe in barking out commands. I believe a subtle shift in tone or pitch will deliver the desired emphasis subliminally, without the risk of agitating or winding people up.

Interestingly, women tend to seek male therapists while men typically seek female therapists. There is no study or conclusive information explaining this. I would speculate that maybe men seek that nurturing motherly tone to which they are accustomed to listening and obeying, while women perhaps seek the comfort and safety of the protective fatherly figure. The conclusive point to take away from this is that there is no greater or lesser success rate whether the voice is male or female.

I believe that the tone is important indeed, but it’s really a combination of the tone and the message, isn’t it? It’s not what you say or how you say it. It’s really both. It’s all very well having the perfect voice, but it’s no good if what you say is garbage.

The right balance of message and tone will achieve hypnosis quite easily, but there is nothing suggesting precisely what the balance has to be. Each hypnotist has to work out how to use their own voice to maximize the results of hypnosis, be it on stage or in the consulting room, and great care must also be taken on the actual content of the delivery. Getting both aspects right will only benefit the listener and achieve the wonderful results that we know hypnosis can bring.

The Hypnotic Voice The Vocals Of Hypnosis

Captivated

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

There’s a song which has dominated my attention for the past couple of weeks. From the first time I heard it, I began to play it so many times I’ve lost count. I think it’s a beautiful song, of course, but there’s so much more to it than that.

The song is titled “Captivate Us.” It’s on a CD by the group Watermark. It’s a simple, quiet song with two voices and an acoustic guitar. I’m sharing the music with you here but I really want to suggest it not as a song, but as a prayer–a prayerful preparation for a conversation with our Heavenly Father. Not only have I listened to the song many times on the way to and from work but I’ve also used it to prepare my heart to commune with the Lord and to practice His presence as I begin to have conversation with Him.

For the purpose of prayer, you can change all of the us pronouns to me. As you become familiar with the words and are able to close your eyes as you speak them–out loud, preferably, I pray that He will, as the words say, draw you closer to Him.

“Your face is beautiful
And Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
There inside the scars

Your loving arms they draw me near
And your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer, oh my Lord
Draw me closer, Lord, to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And Rushing River draw us nearer
Holy Fountain consume us with You
Captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You

Your voice is powerful
And Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide

You whisper love and life divine
And Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And Rushing River draw us nearer
Holy Fountain consume us with You
Captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You

Let everything be lost in the shadows
Of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
As I’m bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy
Your burden is light
You’re full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And Rushing River draw us nearer
Holy Fountain consume us with You
Captivate us, Lord Jesus, with You”

I am a lover of words–their meanings, colorations and shades. This song sent me to various dictionaries, as well as the Bible, to see all the meanings of some of the words and phrases used in this song. I wanted to see what God intended to say, what He wanted us to ask for, when He inspired the writers, Christy and Nathan Nockels.

First, look at the word captivate. It can mean: attract; fascinate; charm; enchant; cause to be enamored; beguile; entrance; hold the attention of someone by being extremely interesting, exciting, charming or attractive; subdue; overpower; capture; or enslave.

In praying “Captivate me, Lord”, I’m see myself asking Him to do everything from attract me to enslave me.

What’s that? I want Him to enslave me? But He told us through Paul:

“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin – because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.” (Romans 6:6-7)

Yes, freed from slavery to sin, but then divinely enslaved to Him:

“But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:22-23)

The lyrics make reference to Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

For generating word-pictures in my mind, I love the references to the Lord as a Rushing River and Holy Fountain.

And we can read in Psalms:

“How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give the drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.” (Psalm 36:7-9)

…And in Revelation:

“To all who are thirsty I will give the springs of the water of life without charge!” (Rev. 21:6b)

And directly from the mouth of Jesus:

“‘If you are thirsty, come to me! If you believe in me, come and drink! For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water will flow from within.'” (John 7:37b-38)

Another word which had an impact on me, but which surprised me, was devastate. I knew of its usage only in terms of laying waste to, or to ravage. But what a great word and a great request for me to make of God! It also means: arouse; elicit; kindle; evoke; fire; raise; provoke; overwhelm; overpower; sweep over; overcome; overtake; confound; stun.

I say “Lord, arouse me to You, and then proceed to overwhelm, sweep over, and all the rest. Just do it, Lord! And, Lord, while You’re at it, go ahead and lay waste to and ravage everything You see in me that is not of You.”

If you take the words as your own and pray them as you commune with our Heavenly Father, I’m sure He will lead you to other words which have the most meaning for you; which draw the clearest picture; which bring you into His presence the closest and prepare you for conversation with Him.

The sweetest times of concentrating on being in the Lord’s presence are those when we come not to ask for anything–no matter how important and precious those requests are to Him–but those times when we say,

“Father, I don’t come to You now to get anything. I’ve prayed about my needs and desires already and Your Word says they’re met according to Your riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now, I just come to be with You. If you have anything You’d like to tell me, I’m ready to listen. I want You to know that whatever I see in Your Word or hear from You, I’ll do.”

Then sit or kneel in His presence and enjoy His company.

I pray the words of this song will be useful to you in your prayer time and that your time with Him will be more precious because of it.

Love,
Brother Bill

Captivated

Annual Forecasts & Fengshui Remedies for 2006 : Year of the Yang Red Fire Dog – for Rabbit Sign

The ancient Chinese Astrology is not only fascinating but also quite accurate. It’s Zodiac is based on 12 signs, a cycle of 12 years and are named after 12 symbolic animals : Rat (or Mouse), Ox (or Buffalo or Bull or Cow), Tiger, Rabbit (or Hare or Cat), Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat (or Sheep or Ram), Monkey, Rooster (or Hen or Cock or Chicken or Phoenix), Dog and Pig (or Boar or Hog).

Your Chinese Astrological Zodiac Animal Sign is based on your Chinese Lunar Year of Birth. The Chinese New Year is movable and could start anywhere between 21st January and 20th February, depending upon the year.

If your Date of Birth falls into any of these below listed Chinese Lunar Years, then, because you are born in the Year of the Rabbit (or Hare or Cat), you are symbolically identified as a “Rabbit” :

From 29 Jan 1903 to 15 Feb 1904

From 14 Feb 1915 to 2 Feb 1916

From 02 Feb 1927 to 22 Jan 1928

From 19 Feb 1939 to 07 Feb 1940

From 06 Feb 1951 to 26 Jan 1952

From 25 Jan 1963 to 12 Feb 1964

From 11 Feb 1975 to 30 Jan 1976

From 29 Jan 1987 to 16 Feb 1988

From 16 Feb 1999 to 04 Feb 2000

In Chinese Hsia Calender, 2006 is the 4703rd year and is also the third year of the New Fengshui Land Luck Period 8. The new Chinese Lunar Year is from 29.01.2006 to 17.02.2007. Here are the Annual Forecasts and suggested Fengshui & Crystal Remedies that you may need for the coming “New Year 2006 : Bing Xu, the Year of the Yang Red Fire Dog” :

CAREER :

An excellent year, whether you are working or self-employed. Sieze all initiatives and take offensive steps. All of your efforts and talents will be recognised. Many of you will achieve your targets. Those in partnership will peak. It is the right time to switch jobs or diversify in business. Be busy and remember that the results will be because of your hard work and good interpersonal relationships with everybody and not because of any windfall. Opportunities from foreign countries will knock at your doors. If you are onto exports or imports, you will flourish. If you are in fields like direct marketing, MLM, public relations and insurance, you will set new standards in the speed in which the customers can be covered. Many of you will receive timely help from influential people and make fast and powerful break-throughs. Your existing clients will make kindly referrals to you and your friendship network will expand. Your social status will increase, but be careful on spending too much energy and money on it. Enjoy your populartiy but let it not come in the way of your efficiency. Don’t let your success carry you away; learn to be humble and polite. Maintain self-control. If you gloat or allow jealousy to breed around you, back-stabbing could become a real possibility. Carry a set of 3 Qui Yong Coins, just in case your ego acts up.

MONEY :

Good wealth luck. Moneyflow will be pretty even. Some will get money from totally unexpected sources. Excellent lottery luck. Some of you will make fortunes in stock markets, with exclusive and timely tips from influential people. Good returns from your previous investments. If you are looking for big business loans, you will get them with ease. On the other hand, those of you having loans will repay with comfort. Unexpected money losses through friends, unethical socialising and large medical bills (due to poor health of family elders) are indicated. Large sums of money will also be spent on adding furniture or household comforts. Don’t risk money on any short term schemes. Invest only for substantial long term benefits.

HEALTH :

Do not allow your work pressure to dominate you. Relax, meditate and rest more. Stay away from alchohols and unhealthy sex. Some of you face the threat of sexually transmitted diseases. There could be some problems related to abdomen, limbs, blood pressure and viral infections. Bleeding from small accidents is indicated – donate blood. If you are already suffering from chronic diseases like high cholesterol level and hypertension, take good care of yourself. Elderly rabbits should have periodic health check-ups. Wearing a Malachite Crystal Pendant around your neck will be helpful.

LOVE :

Disharmony in the home front because of quarrels and fights. Spend more quality time with the family and pay more attention to your spouse. Expansions in your social circle and some of your new found friends will bring gossips into your household. Stop being too friendly with friends of opposite sex. Resist temptations with all your strength, at stake is not only your reputation, but also your family’s. Keep a Rose Quartz Crystal Ball or Egg at home to spread harmony energy. If you are a single, good chances of settling down.

Beneficial Crystal : Rose Quartz, for 2006

Good Relationship with : Goat, Dog, Dragon & Pig, for 2006

Conflict with : Rooster, Rat & Tiger, for 2006

Yin/Yang : Yin

A NOTE ABOUT REMEDIES : The above analysis has suggested some remedies/cures for reducing the impact of negative energy and has recommended certain enhancers for increasing and improving upon the beneficial energy. For the remedies/enhancers to be effective, they should be cleansed, energised, blessed and programmed not only for the particular individual/family but also for the specificpurpose/problem. They should also be placed in the indicated location. Any or all of these remedies can be reused for the coming new years, the only thing is that some of them may have to be repositioned according to the specific new year.

Annual Forecasts & Fengshui Remedies for 2006 : Year of the Yang Red Fire Dog – for Rabbit Sign

What is happiness?

Are you happy? Many of us are not sure about that. Happiness also can not be defined so easily. Most of us are not living happily. That is the curse of modern age. Try and make yourself as happy as possible amongst all the stresses and tensions.

What is happiness? When I say that I am feeling happy, it may mean that I just got something that I love. That makes me happy. Have you ever seen at the photographs of people who have won a big lottery? They look so happy. Meet them after few years, when they have already spent all their money, and you will find the same person very unhappy. A married couple looks happy while getting married. Meet them after few years in the Divorce court and you will know that happiness was not their nature, but only a reaction to circumstances.

Can we remain happy at all times? It is difficult, but one can surely try. Decide to smile and feel happy at all the times. Even if you learn that you have suffered a big loss, be happy. Sounds foolish? But this can be done. And no amount of unhappiness will ever get you the money back. But happiness under all conditions will give you the confidence and strength to fight against all the odds and come out as a winner.

What is happiness?

Christians– 7 Steps to Realizing Your Goals

1. Determine precisely what your goals are. What have you always hoped you could do, but have never had the time or money? What would you do if money and time were plentiful? What do you want to accomplish in the next five years? What do you wish you had done in the last five years? What do you feel God wants for your life that perhaps you aren’t doing?

2. Ask yourself why you really want the things you determined in step 1). Is it to enhance your relationship with your family or with your Creator? To grow closer to those most important to you? Perhaps if it is financial, is it to better provide for those around you and leave more time for charity and ministry? Without understanding why we want the things we do, it is often difficult to really become motivated to get the things we want.

3. Write out a list of things that would need to change in your life in order for your goals to come true. Sometimes the only reason we don’t accomplish our goals is that we don’t have a written plan of what needs to be done. Without having the ability to review the goals regularly, we tend to lose our focus. Before we know it, a month or two has gone by, there is no progress, and we are frustrated that we are no closer to the realization of our goals.

4. Break each goal down into a series of minigoals smaller accomplishments that, when all are completed, would result in the achievement of your primary goal. When you break your goals into smaller segments, the goals do not appear to be as formidable—just take things one minigoal at a time, and after awhile your primary goal will be accomplished.

5. Create a time frame for achieving each of your goals. Often we don’t achieve simply because we don’t create a time constraint. Give yourself a deadline and you will get more done. Remember when you were in college and you finished the semester-long paper the night before it was due if not the very morning it was due? As much as we don’t like to admit it, we often need deadlines to help us achieve our goals.

6. Ask a trusted friend to hold you accountable in each area where you want to improve, grow, or achieve. This should preferably not be your husband or wife, but rather a same-sexed friend from whom you can easily take criticism and who will feel comfortably pushing you a little when you aren’t following through on your goals. When we involve others, we tend to feel a greater sense of urgency.

7. Celebrate each time you achieve one of your goals or minigoals. We humans tend to like celebration, and it can help motivate you to achieve the next goal on your list.

Bonus:

8. Once you have completed your goals and celebrated, look back over the process and ask yourself what you could have done to achieve your goal more smoothly or quickly. This is one of the most critical steps in the long-term realization of goals, because it can help us become more efficient at achieving our goals in the future.

Christians– 7 Steps to Realizing Your Goals

Are You Invisible?

Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught to be very tuned into others’ feelings and needs, but to never have any of her own. Her family made it clear to her that her job was to give to them but to never expect anything in return. As a result, Ellen learned to be totally tuned out to her own feelings and needs. It was as if she, as a person, didn’t really exist, other than to be there for others.

When Ellen’s feelings and needs did surface, she would tell herself that they weren’t important, that she was strong and could handle not having her feelings cared for and or her needs recognized. She convinced herself that if she just cared enough about others, others would eventually care about her. It never happened.

The inner stress of never attending to her own feelings and needs and always feeling so invisible to others as a result finally took a toll on Ellen’s health. Ellen is now dealing with cancer and finally has to attend to herself.

Many of us have learned to be invisible to ourselves and to others. What are some of the ways you create invisibility?

* Do you remain silent, not speaking up for yourself, when feeling discounted or unseen by others?

* Do you ignore your own feelings and needs in deference to others?

* Do you go along with what others want, even if you really want something else?

* Do you accept blame for things that you know are not really your responsibility?

* Do you put aside your own opinions and accept the opinions of others to be accepted?

* Do you accept disrespectful behavior from others, finding ways to excuse the behavior?

* Do you pretend everything is okay when you are really feeling lonely or sad?

* Are you conflict avoidant, preferring peace at any cost rather than rock the boat?

* Are you carrying too much of the load at home or at work, without complaint?

* Do you pretend to like a food, a movie, a topic of conversation, or sex, rather than run the risk of disapproval or rejection?

* Do you allow yourself to be violated in any way physically, emotionally, verbally, sexually to avoid rejection?

* Do you allow others’ anger or bullying to control you into doing what they want?

* Do you do everything yourself, never asking others for help?

How often do you end up feeling unappreciated, unseen, not valued? How much of this is a reflection of how you treat yourself?

If your own feelings and needs are invisible to yourself, they will end up being invisible to others. It is not realistic to constantly put yourself aside and then expect others to value and respect you. Anytime you tolerate uncaring or disrespectful behavior in others to avoid conflict, you are training others to see you as invisible, to not care about your feelings and needs.

If you have been allowing yourself to be invisible for a long time, it is a real challenge to start to care about yourself. You need to be willing to go through a difficult period of feeling others’ anger and resentment. After all, you trained them for years to not have to care about you or see you, and now you are changing the rules. They won’t like it, but they will eventually respect you for it. You will also discover in the process of caring about yourself who really cares about you and who has just been using you. Those people who really care about you will eventually applaud your self-care, while those who were just using you will go away or be constantly angry with you for changing.

It takes great courage to shift from invisibility to being seen and valued. It takes great courage to be willing to lose others rather than continue to lose yourself. Yet, like with Ellen, your very life may depend upon it. Hopefully, you will not wait until you are ill or feel alone and cast aside by others to start to become visible to yourself.

It must start with yourself with learning to tune into, acknowledge, value, and take loving action for yourself regarding your own feelings and needs. It means moving into personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs rather than taking care of everyone else in the hopes they will eventually take care of you. If you are ever going to feel cared for and loved, it has to start with you caring about and being loving to yourself!

Are You Invisible?

TIME MANAGEMENT

Well not really, you have to know where you are and where you want to be in order to improve anything. So deciding that your time management skills are poor, and learning how to get better and where you want to be is time well spent. How ever in saying that if you’ve been searching for time management information for days now, and are still looking for a perfect solution there’s a chance you’re procrastinating. Just one trait of someone with poor time management.

So what can you do to start improving your time management right away?

Make lists and prioritize

Often it’s not that people aren’t effective with their time rather they just don’t spend the time they have doing the right things. We’re all guilty of this at one time or another, but some of us are habitual with it. The easiest way to determine if you do this is to make a list each morning, or the night before of the things you need/want to accomplish
the following or that day. Once you have your list prioritize the items from greatest to least importance. Now spend a day and perform the tasks in the order you prioritized them. This does two things.

a.) It shows you what you need to accomplish in a day so you now have some urgency because you know there are other tasks to get done not just the one you are currently working on.

b.) It ensures that the most important items are being taken care of first.

There are times when we can’t finish every item on our list but at least we took care of the most important issues first.

Learn to say no

You can’t do everything for everyone. Following our list exercise above it’s obvious that if you have a list of 20 things and only time for 10 of them in a day then it’s hard to accept additional activities from others. Of course there are trade offs that a more important task could come along and you exchange it for another task you were going to do that day. This gets into another discussion on life priorities such as friends, family, career, remember balance is also important. But you can’t do everything so if the boss wants you to work late that night, but your supposed to see your son’s hockey game
you have to be able to say no somewhere.

Don’t book every moment of your day

Now while we’ve preached lists, daily organization, and learning to say no you do need to leave some room for flexibility. Booking up every moment of your day so that you’re on a minute-by-minute schedule can be a big problem if a mini crisis occurs in the day that wasn’t accounted for.

Use other tools

Using day planners, or PDA’s to keep track of appointments and to do lists will save time and promote organization on all levels. Also keeping good contact information whether it be in a contact database on your computer or in an address book will save time when you need to contact people.

TIME MANAGEMENT