3 Tips For Self Help And Personal Growth

Self help and personal growth are aspects that many individuals lack in. For many, getting up every day means going to work, coming home tired enough to fall into bed and to do it all over again the next day. Your days off be laundry, cleaning, cooking and trying to do something meaningful with the kids. While this is the life that many Americans live, it is not a life that is good in quality. And, while that paycheck is a great asset, it is not what is going to provide you with a life to look back on with a smile. Improve your life through self help and personal growth, and you and your family will be better off.

Tips For Improving Your Life Through Personal Growth

* Get A Life! You have heard the saying, now put it to use. While you may think it is necessary to work long hours and get a big fat check, if you ask your children if they would rather have lots of toys or see you more, more than likely they will choose you. Cut back on your demanding job and find time to invest in your family. Their values will improve, your relationship will improve and you will go to bed with a smile on your head.

* Self help means looking hard at you. While it is not easy to do, you’ll need to face your faults and find ways to improve them. Find out what you hate or dislike about yourself and then work on improving these aspects. Don’t like the way you look? Then change it. Don’t like the attitude that you have? Add things into your life that are worth being happy about.

* Time for you. It is also important to spend quality time doing things that you personally enjoy doing. Want to get away for a bit? Then take a walk after dinner and leave your spouse with the kids. A ten minute break from everyone is the time you can use to explore your own self and to learn about who you are and where your life is heading.

When you take the time to learn about yourself and to develop your relationships, your personal growth will allow you to become the person that you want to be.

3 Tips For Self Help And Personal Growth

The Secret – Collection Of Inspirational Quotes ( Part 29 )

Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting.

— Aldous Huxley

It is proper to doubt.Do not be led by holy scriptures, or by mere logic or inference,or by appearances, or by the authority of religious teachers. But when you realize that something is unwholesome and bad for you, give it up. And when you realize that something is wholesome and good for you, do it.

— The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama)

It is better to carry stones with a wise man than accept the meal of a madman.

— Armenian Proverb

Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.

— Michelangelo

At the day of Doom men shall be judged according to their fruits. It will not be said then, Did you believe? but, Were you doers, or talkers only?

— John Bunyan

The real measure of our wealth is how much we would be worth if we lost our money.

— Anonymous

Trust in God. She will provide.

— Emmeline Pankhurst

Folks who think they must always speak the truth overlook another good choice . . . silence.

— C. Hull

Let me take the whole universe and put it on the tips of your eyelashes. Don’t be impatient when you hear this, but slowly and carefully examine it. If you are a good student, you won’t rest until you have realized it.Then you will be a superior person; when you hear that some great Master has appeared in the world to liberate all beings, you’ll immediately clap your hands over your ears. As long as you aren’t your own Master, you may think you have gained something from what you hear; but it is secondhand merchandise, and not yours.

— Yun-Men

Nothing in excess.

— In the Temple at Delphi

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

— Mark Twain

If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.

— William Blake

To read more quotes visit : http://www.spiritual-simplicity.com

The Secret – Collection Of Inspirational Quotes ( Part 29 )

Meditation For Prosperity And The Art Of Allowing: Confessions Of A Formerly Reluctant Meditator

Meditation for Prosperity and Abundance? To be honest, that connection had never even occurred to me until fairly recently, or else I would have started to meditate much sooner.

For years, people told me I should meditate. I tried it a few times, but it just wasn’t my thing. It felt boring. And I failed to see the point.

I also may have had exaggerated expectations of what it would feel like to meditate. I guess I thought it would be much like hypnosis, of which I had exaggerated expectations as well. Any of my attempts at either of the two techniques just didn’t come close to what I had expected, which was a state of blissed-out oblivion. So I figured it didn’t work. Either that, or it just didn’t work for me.

Fast-forward quite a few years…

I was listening to an Abraham-Hicks CD when Abraham suddenly spoke of “allowing.” All the prosperity and abundance would be mine if only I could refrain from pushing it away.

I had first encountered the term “allowing” during an advanced Quantum Touch workshop and felt at a loss. Allow? How? What exactly was I supposed to do?

This had been very frustrating because it appeared to be a key part of the process. Since then, I had also come across it when reading about manifestation. And that left me even more frustrated. How am I supposed to manifest prosperity and abundance when I don’t know how to allow?

So when Abraham brought up allowing, I sat there poised to take notes. Maybe I would finally learn what it meant and how to do it.

And I did! Abraham explained that allowing was basically the absence of resistance, something that was actually not easy to accomplish! Aha! I thought. So it wasn’t just me.

What came next really got my attention, though:

The most effective way to “allow” was to meditate, Abraham said. Meditate, I thought? Not again!

But this was different. Meditation according to Abraham was basically being in a relaxed position and thinking of nothing (much). The best part:10 minutes would be enough. Now that I could do!

I practically ran to my bedroom, lay down, closed my eyes, and tried to think of nothing. Okay, so that didn’t work too well. But I could think of colors. Just one after the other, focusing on imagining myself surrounded by them. Before I knew it, the 10 minutes were up.

I did it again the next day and the next, and every day since. Well, nearly every day. And the most amazing things started happening almost immediately.

Only two days later, seemingly out of the blue, I came across an opportunity that ended up helping my cash-flow significantly. And only a day after that, I found a flier where someone was looking for help with a project of the very kind I wanted to get some experience with but didn’t think I’d ever get the opportunity because I had no experience. Yet I called, and the project was mine, and it worked out great.

Now I have to admit that things don’t flow quite as dramatically every day, but they do go a lot better on the days I meditate. And when I’ve slacked off for a little while, I can really tell the difference.

In fact, it’s been a few days I can’t imagine how I could have gotten side-tracked like that (must have been the holidays), and it’s high time to get back to my daily practice. So if you’ll excuse me, please. I’ve got to go lie down right now and meditate.

Meditation For Prosperity And The Art Of Allowing: Confessions Of A Formerly Reluctant Meditator

What Are Your Secret Talents

Couch potatoes never know what muscles they could build if they spent their couch time at the gym. On the couch, even repetitive bench pressing of the biggest, baddest universal remote won’t build a noticeable muscle.

And the same holds true for exercising our talents. Just as a dedicated couch potato will never know if he has a set of six-pack abs waiting to be liberated, we’ll never develop our abilities without putting in time exercising them. Abilities are a lot like muscles; you have to work them to have them. And the more you work them, the more impressive they become.

But what abilities do we have to develop? We may be clueless about an absolute treasure trove of inborn talents lurking inside us. We may even claim to lack talent.

Not so fast, bucko. Everybody’s born with talent. That’s spelled e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y. Lots of talent. But secret. We can’t look at a baby and tell what career will suit their talents. Babies eat. They cry. They do things only a parent in love would be willing to deal with and then sometimes grudgingly. But exhibit talent? No.

Talent is a treasure hunt. And unless we go hunting, we can live and die without uncovering our treasures within. It’s like have millions in the bank that nobody told us about.

We spot some talents easily. Schools teach us to read early on. Those with literary talents find reading easy. Others struggle. This has nothing to do with our value, but with our direction. If reading is a chore, we probably won’t want to become an editor or a writer; our path goes in a different direction.

School sports programs uncover athletic talent. Some people run like the wind almost from the moment they stand up; others never get beyond a lead foot trudge.

One child sings complete songs on key at an early age. Another takes their toys apart and more importantly puts them back together. Yet another accurately counts the change they receive when buying candy. We shouldn’t dismiss these things with an “isn’t that cute” remark. They’re all part of the talent hunt.

But some talents aren’t so easy to spot. How do we know where to dig for the treasure?

A sure sign of talent is doing easily what others find hard, and we’ll miss it if we’re not looking. It’s a natural tendency to think everybody is just like us, so we decide without checking it out that everybody finds it as easy to do as we do. And we miss the 500-pound-gorilla clue sitting right in front of us.

We may decide we’re good at something because, since we enjoy it, we get a lot of practice at it. Sure, practice makes us better, but practice despite popular opinion doesn’t make perfect. Effort only takes us so far. Talent takes us all the way.

Truly gifted people often fall into the “imposter” trap. We get many, many compliments. We may even make a lot of money doing what we do. But we can’t accept the praise because we can’t believe we deserve it. We decide we’ve had a free ride so far, but some day we’ll be found out and exposed as an impostor. Anybody sitting on that thought is atop a talent gold mine.

So maybe it’s inventory time. Let’s check out what we enjoy and what people say we’re good at. Pumping up those muscles will start us down the talent trail, and who knows what good stuff we’ll find?

What Are Your Secret Talents

There Are No Secrets to Success!

There Are No Secrets To Success

As you strive toward accomplishing your goals and dreams you
need to know that there are no secrets to success! Webster’s
Dictionary defines a secret as something kept from public
knowledge; something mysterious that is beyond general
knowledge or understanding. If that were true then it would
mean success is only possible for those few who have access
to these great mysterious secrets.


You Are What You Believe! Today Is YOUR Day!

Today is the day you can decide to change your life. Change
the way you think about things and begin to make a
difference in your life.

Decide to believe your life is going to be an exciting
adventure. Decide to believe you will be a success. Decide
to believe today is going to be better than yesterday.
Decide to make a difference for someone else and you will
make a difference for yourself as well.

Decide and it will be TRUE FOR YOU!

There are no secrets to success — because they are
available to everyone. You have to WANT to know them. You
have to LOOK for them. You have to DO something with them
once you know them. By applying the four truths I’ve shared
with you today, your life will change dramatically – success
will be within your grasp and you will make a difference.

There Are No Secrets to Success!

The Art Of Listening

Everyone has a story to tell. However, not everyone may be willing to listen. Sometimes, we are amazed – in an unpleasant way over the fact that we have not been paying attention to the one speaking to us. At some point along the story, our mind has wandered off, and we only drift back to reality when suddenly asked, “Are you still listening?”

That would be most unfortunate, since next to our visual skills, our ability to listen allows us to reap various benefits. If we listen to our mentor as he shares with us useful thoughts on life, we become good apprentices. If we listen to our professor as he lectures about the day’s lesson, we become good students. If we listen to our boss as he explains the rationale of the company’s recent policy, we become good employees. If we listen to our parents as they advise us regarding career choices, we become good sons/daughters. If we listen to a friend in dire need of unloading his troubles, we become good friends.

In short, listening is vital in developing good human relationships. To maximize our listening capability, here are a few tips.

1. Focus. It is but a single word, but its message conveys far more. Being focused means paying attention, and a lot of it at that. It means temporarily forgetting about other matters of consequence and lending a few minutes of your time to hear someone speak his mind out. It means giving interest to whatever it is that the speaker might want to say. It is taking his words seriously into consideration in whatever decision we are to make. It is placing his story in the context of his emotions, and trying to understand him within the events occurring in his life.

2. Watch out for non-verbal cues. The message need not always lie on the words, but also in movements that the speaker makes. If we also pay good attention to the speaker’s eyes, facial expressions, and gestures, we will be able to receive the message in totality. Moreover, if the speaker realizes that we are sincerely listening, we are boosting his confidence.

3. Be sensitive. A good measure of sensitivity is also essential to maintain enthusiasm in the part of the person speaking. If the person is at the peak of his emotions, do not interrupt. After all, if someone is extremely angry or anguished, it will be a form of catharsis to remain patient until he has calmed down. Unless the person is already causing bodily harm, it will do him well to let him be purged of his bad feelings.

4. Show unconditional openness. We may not always agree with what someone has to say, but being there to listen may be the least we can offer. While we may have different opinions about several issues, keeping our horizons wide is a healthy attitude. With these perspectives in listening, we become open to a world of unlimited learning and diverse experiences.

The Art Of Listening

Coaching Creativity – 7 Lessons from Artists

Copyright 2006 Suzanne Falter-Barns

Three years ago, I was a frustrated, fed-up writer, sitting in a Starbucks in Times Square in tears. I’d gotten 27 rejections on my book – ironically enough, it was about how to live your dreams – and I was sure my own dream of being a successful author was dead. At that moment, a little voice whispered in my ear that I would only become a writer when, and if, I chose it. Like really chose it – deep in that secret place we all have in our gut.

So I chose it, simply because there didn’t seem to be anything else I could do at the time. I decided to walk out of Starbucks a writer, absurd as it seemed. Two days later, I got fired from my temp job, giving me more time to write. Ten days later, I spontaneously got two assignments from a major magazine I’d never even considered writing for. Three weeks later, I finally got a publishing deal on the selfhelp book. Another month later, Hollywood called seeking film rights on a novel I’d published 8 years earlier that had died in the marketplace.

75,000 copies later, my self-help book, How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine Wellspring) is a creativity classic, a major star is making a movie of my novel, and I am a successful writer. But more than a writer, I am a coach. Through this process, I have found myself on a one-woman mission to move people to express themselves.

I’ve discovered that the reason more people don’t express themselves is not because they can’t – but because they don’t realize how universal their fears are, and how necessary their work is in the world. In short, they suffer from a lack of information. It’s the very same information all of us writers, artists, entrepreneurs, and other dreamers uncover as we return to our dreams, day after day, month after month, year after year. So, in order to expedite that learning curve, I thought I’d share some of these hard won lessons with you, in hopes that you can pass them on to your own clients.

1. Go with the flow (or without it.)

If you’re going to create anything in life, pray for flow but don’t count on it. ‘Flow’ is a much bandied-about buzz word that describes creating at max. You concentrate intensely on what you’re doing, the words/images/ideas/thoughts tumble straight from your mind into your hands, the telephone rings unnoticed, and you look up three hours later, convinced only minutes have passed.

Creating in a state of flow can convince you that you are, indeed, on the right track. Yet, the converse can be true, too. If flow is missing for too long, an artist will start to feel blocked and miserable, like a constipated fish out of water. And yet … no artist experiences flow all the time or even very often. I had to break this news once to a client I’ll call Amy, who was angrily insisting that her speaking career should just fall in her lap, in a great sweep of synchronicity. Sorry, Amy, I had to say – there are good days and there are bad days, just like with anything else.

The illusion is that if we’re really doing our dream, the whole darned thing should flow. Yet, some days are downright tedious, just as some days are miraculous. Professional artists know that flow cannot be counted on, so they learn to create without it — putting their work together every single day, whether or not they’re ‘in the mood.’

2. You have to get it wrong before you can get it right.

Out there in the rational, logical world, many people strive to get things right the first time. In an artist’s studio, however, it’s the mistakes that really count. In the book, Mastery; Interviews with 30 Remarkable People, juggler and performance artist Michael Moschen says, “My process works very well when I have time to try it and fail, try it and fail, try it and fail. Sometimes I’ll try a piece for three months and get rid of it. Then I’ll go back to it again and leave it several more times, because I have to fail a lot to find out all about what the piece wants and really needs. Once it clicks and I start succeeding, you can’t stop me.” Or, as Miles Davis said, “Do not fear mistakes; there are none.”

3. Not every work of art is actually art.

Over time artists become adept at sorting out which of their creations are true ‘keepers’ and which are mediocre ‘also-rans’. This distinction comes from no place other than your gut, and can only be learned by experience.

These gut distinctions can be subtle at times, and take time to learn. After all, who really wants to admit the dark truth that the screenplay they’ve been writing for the past three months is actually a bore. Better to let the marketplace tell you this truth … and it will. Yet, you may also create something that you just know is a keeper — and the marketplace won’t give it a break. The way you can distinguish what’s truly a keeper is simply intuitive. Learning to make that disinction comes with learning your craft.

4. You are usually your own worst enemy.

It’s a classic Catch-22. You cannot truly create something great unless you are willing to share your tenderest, most vulnerable thoughts and feelings. Yet, once you do that, you may be racked with self-doubt and fear. Few artists are able to accurately assess just how valuable and great their work is — or how much it will be appreciated by its audience. In other words, insecurity is the name of the game.

A woman who took one of my workshops wrote to let me know she had a story appearing in one of the Chicken Soup books. “The story is too raw! It’s too personal! Everybody is going to know how I feel! Everybody is going to hate it/laugh at me/roll their eyes! I’m going to die of shame/embarrassment/rejection!” She was writhing with all that exposure, for sure. But then this was how she closed: “Thanks for reminding me why I write. For the joy!”

The problem is that it is hard to believe that anyone actually needs and wants what you create. And yet, this is patently untrue. Out here in Audience Land, we’re all patiently waiting for the next great thing to love. Most of us (at least those of us who aren’t professional critics) come from a place of appreciation and acceptance.

This is why the artists who make it continue to produce, despite the dark sense of foreboding which often accompanies their very best work.

5. It’s good to get dirty.

The dirtier you get, the more intimate with your work you get, whether you are messing around with sales projections or oil paints. Artists know the pure deliciousness of surrendering completely to their process. So don’t worry about having to research things without a firm sense of where you’re going, or whether you get some burnt sienna on your jeans. It’s good to get dirty because it means you’re closer to that exalted state of flow — a place where spelling doesn’t count (for the moment), amazing synchronicities can take place, strokes of brilliance pop up out of nowhere, and things blend in new and unexpected ways.

When I lead my How Much Joy Can You Stand? workshop, I give everyone an unconventional material, like toilet paper, paper clips, or tin foil, and ask them to create something from it. I’ve seen people create entire wedding gowns from toilet paper, and exquisite wall hangings from a ball of string. The fact is, when you’re given total permission to get in there, be messy, use your intuition and make mistakes, the results can be incredible. You want your coaching clients to think big and loose — to create with a sense of danger to what they’re doing. That is how greatness always begins.

6. You can’t create for the marketplace; you can only create for you.

I once heard an interview with a pop singer who had carefully dissected and repackaged the rhythmic patterns, vocal technique, lyric phrasing and dance moves of Michael Jackson, in an attempt to be Michael II. You have never heard of this guy because … guess what? It didn’t work. You can’t buy success any more than you can duplicate genius.

The key is to do the opposite. You want to begin with your own organic idea that is born out of who you are and what you are here to do in life. Start with a concept that sparks your passion, then follow that spark as it guides you through its development.

It may even lead you into the slightly absurd – like Paige, a client I had who found herself equally drawn to interior design and spirituality. Instead of denying the connection, she used it. Now she runs an organic interiors design consulting business, creating spiritually sensitive interiors for corporations. Her business is going gangbusters.

7. It’s the work they’re rejecting, not you.

Sometimes you go out there and dangle your creative product in the marketplace, and you get back a big, wet raspberry. Experienced artists know this has less to do with the quality of the work than what people are buying at this particular moment in time.

I used to cast television commercials in New York, and this was always a dilemma. You’d get fifteen incredible Broadway actresses vying for the role of Mom in your toothpaste commercial. (Such ads can provide several years of income, so everybody wants them.) What it always boiled down to was not who was the best Mom, but which one was a redhead, or reminded the client of his wife. Arbitrary, yes, but unfortunately true in a crowded market.

This is why artists never take rejection personally. They simply keep looking for the next opportunity to show their work, with the understanding that they are playing the odds. Sooner or later, someone’s got to buy — and if they don’t, then maybe that particular piece was not destined to sell at this time. (And that doesn’t mean it won’t sell later.)

Coaching Creativity – 7 Lessons from Artists

Two Hearts Are Now One

It is fitting that I should write this story on Valentines Day, for this is a story of two broken hearts; healed and mended, then melted together as one–in an instant. This is a story of True Love.

Anyone who comes from a broken family understands the pain of divorce. I was twenty-seven years old when my parents divorced, and while some people think that a person shouldn’t be “affected” by such things once they are adults, I can assure you–I WAS! I was shocked when my parents divorced. I had no forewarning in the natural. But, on the day that my dad told my mom that he was moving out, I felt a great anxiety in my spirit–so great that I told my husband, “Something is terribly wrong in California. I want to phone home.” Considering the fact that I was three thousand miles away, on a remote island in Northern Canada, when I felt this anxiety, you can appreciate that I was deeply affected.

Pain and confusion became constant companions as I tried to “understand” what had happened–what right did he have to leave my mother? Whose standard was he using to exercise his right to leave her? What had she done that was so terrible that he could not live with her? I had questions and I asked them of nearly everyone around me. I asked God the same questions, and in so doing, I realized that my own life was in quite a mess. As I came into a better alignment with God, I searched the Bible for “the answer” to all my questions about my dad. Since he had been a Baptist minister at one time, I felt certain that he would know and obey what the Bible said about such an important issue.

About two years after the divorce, the whole family gathered in California–for one of those BIG attempts to bring reconciliation–I felt certain that dad would listen to God’s Word. I reached for my Bible and said, “Dad, look at what God has to say about what you are doing.” Before I could find the carefully selected passage of scripture that would straighten this mess out, he stood up and loudly cursed me, the Bible and the whole family. Then he walked out. Needless to say we were all in shock. The shock of that cursing lasted a long time–eighteen years for myself, and twenty years for my brother and sister.

Eighteen years is a long time. Think about it. It generally takes eighteen years to graduate from high school. A whole “lifetime” of events takes place in eighteen years. During those years, contact with my dad was minimal. A card from him on my birthday, Christmas cards, the odd phone call which always stirred up the pain. Someone would hear about something that he was doing and he would again become the topic of our conversation for weeks. My mother never stopped talking about him. She never let him go.

My mom maintained her relationship with God throughout this long painful separation. She read her Bible, went to church, cared about us kids and loved her grandkids. She worked as a secretary and saved her money so she wouldn’t be a burden on anyone when she retired. But, always, she was obsessed with talking about my dad.

I would say that most of our conversations about him were judgemental. After all, we read our Bibles; we knew that what he had done was wrong. She had done nothing that the Bible sanctioned as reason for divorce. By the time of his third marriage, we knew he wasn’t coming back to her. Still, his actions and their effect on our lives were frequent topics of our conversations.

After many years, I gave up hope for my dad to ever be reconciled to his family. I doubted he was even a Christian. I felt he was a totally lost, immoral, unstable, unsavory person. That was a very dark time for me. Gradually, I got used to the darkness in my own soul–it seemed normal.

Mother did retire and she moved from California to Canada to be near my family. She had missed out on much of the growing up of my five children, and she wanted to get to know them. She bought a condominium two blocks from my house and the kids enjoyed having “Gran” live so close. One year after moving here, she was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease.

Lou Gehrig’s disease was a death sentence. There was no cure. There was no treatment. I spent four months pryaing and asking God to heal my mother. Finally, the answer came: “Help her die.” I accepted her diagnosis and did all I could to help her.

I wish I could tell you that I was a “good little Christian” who praised and thanked God every day for His righteous judgements–but, the truth is that I questioned God. I really felt that it was unfair of Him to let my dad go free, when he was the one who had done this great wrong to his family, and to allow my mother to die this cruel death. Finally, I asked God, “How do You see this situation?” The answer He spoke to my heart would one day transform all our lives.

About a year after my mother died, I felt something stirring inside of me–a desire to see my dad. In the long eighteen years of separation, I had only invited him once to visit my home and during that visit I had tried again–and unsuccessfully, again–to confront him with the Bible. I had no reason to expect that another visit would end differently, but I honored that desire anyway and invited him for a long weekend.

My dad came armed with his own arsenal of justifications. He knew what to expect from me. I hadn’t planned anything specific to confront him on–I didn’t need to, I had a whole list of offenses that I could whip out at any given moment. So, the weekend progressed–awkwardly, but quietly.

I had no idea that Spirit was about to move in on us in a powerful way. I simply invited two gentlemen friends over for lunch. They lead a prayer group I attended and I suppose I hoped they would “say something” important to my dad. If not, it was a way to let others meet my dad and see the man who had so wounded me. We were sitting around my dining room table, when one gentleman began telling the story of a young soldier in Napoleon’s army who had gone A.W.O.L., been caught and was now about to face the firing squad. This young man’s mother came to Napoleon and pleaded for mercy for her son. Napoleon replied, “He doesn’t deserve mercy.” To which the mother implored, “But, Sir, if he deserved it, it wouldn’t be mercy!” At that, Napoleon allowed the boy to live. After telling this story, the gentleman said, “I have no idea why I told that story. It just came into my head.”

As he had been speaking, I felt the strangest sensation of heat come over my head and into my chest. Without wavering, I said, “I know why you told that story.” I turned toward my dad and gently said, “Dad, when mom was dying, I felt that God was being very unfair. So I asked Him what He had to say about the situation. Would you like to hear what God had to say about you and mom?” The room was very quiet. I could tell that my dad was afraid to know. But, after a few moments he indicated that he would.

I felt the heat increasing as I reached deep into my soul for those words, “He said, ‘I could not heal your mother, because she would not forgive. But I see the wounds upon your father’s heart, and I have pity on him.” In the moment I spoke those words, the power of Spirit hit both of us “like lightening.” We stood up, pushed our chairs back from the table and fell into each others arms, sobbing. After quite a while of crying and kissing, we sat down again–even the two gentlemen present were crying–and I realized that I could not remember even one of those offenses on my “list.” The whole list was erased from my memory–and five years later, it is still gone! (10 years later too.)

From that day on, my dad and I have had a relationship that is far beyond mere “reconciliation” or “recovery.” We never had a relationship like this before–ever! This is a totally new relationship! We talk on the phone every weekend, we plan visits around special holidays, we go to conferences together. Where before my dad had been closed to the “things of the Spirit,” due to the wounding caused by my own judgementalism and legalism, now he is hungry for more of the Spirit. Right away my dad began having powerful dreams which he KNEW were from God. He shares these dreams with me and we discuss their possible meanings.

Two years after this momentous day, my dad was reconciled to my brother and sister. My family traveled to California where we had a true “family reunion.” It had been twenty years since the divorce.

Whenever my dad and I are together, we look for an opportunity to share our story. It is a story that brings hope to hopelessly broken relationships. It is a True Love story.

Two Hearts Are Now One

To Focus Or Not To Focus

Often I receive emails from people who have been learning about and applying the Law of Attraction yet they feel stuck. They are clear about what they want. They stay focused on their desire and yet, it seems to be so slow in coming or out of reach entirely.

Here’s an example of one such email: “I have been trying to attract a good mate into my life and have really focused on it for the past three months. I have posted positive affirmations on my bathroom mirror with positive quotes like ‘I am married now to a wonderful person’ etc…. I also read every morning and mid-day and night a positive affirmation that I am attracting a great mate who harmonizes with me. I also bought an endless loop cassette tape and recorded that I have a good spouse and that I have attracted a good person to myself etc and I listen to it every night. I really believe that it will come to me, but …”

Could it be that this person is focusing too much? Surely all these affirmations and positive statements should have produced the desired outcome by now! Yes, this person is probably focusing too much on their desire and actually causing resistance to allowing the Law of Attraction to deliver. Here are three things about how the Law of Attraction works to consider:

Once you have clarity about your desire and feel satisfied with the mental picture and good feelings you have, then the Law of Attraction reads you loud and clear and the process of delivery is set in motion.

If you do nothing more than get crystal clear, you will receive your desire in the easiest most efficient way.

The Law of Attraction doesn’t really listen to your words, but DOES read how you actually feel about this desire. When you make affirmations that are not true, like: “I have a wonderful spouse”–when you don’t, the Law of Attraction only receives your opposite vibration of “I don’t have a spouse.” The more affirmations you make, the more you are nullifying your desire with this opposing vibration.

So, what ARE you supposed to do with that desire you’ve been so clear about?

Hold it in your periphery vision, rather than your focal point.

Here’s an exercise that will demonstrate how to do that:

Keep your focus on this article on the screen of your computer. Now, tell me, what do you see on your far right? Don’t move your eyes, just notice what is there.

OK, now tell me, what is in the upper left field? What’s in the lower left field? What is at the top of your field of vision? And the bottom?

You DO know what is there without focusing on the object directly.

Now, let’s pretend that one of the items in your periphery is a lamp and you want to turn it on. You move your eyes, so that the lamp is the focus of your vision, BRIEFLY, while you turn it on–then return your focus to this screen.

This is the best way to hold your clear desires: once you have clearly stated or written your desire, hold it in the periphery of your vision. Get on with other things that you enjoy. You’ll know when to shift your focus to your desire–maybe you’ve changed your mind about a detail–or you just enjoy imagining what it feels like to be living your desire.

I have a practice of writing out my desire statement using the 3-Phrases that raise my vibration, then I put it away in a file-folder. The file folder is in my left peripheral vision when I’m at my computer.. I usually seem to ‘forget about it’ until it is fulfilled. Then I go digging for that particular Desire Statement and find, to my absolute delight, that EVERYTHING I asked for has come true!

The bottom line is really this: If focusing on your desire feels good, delightful, playful and exciting, then by all means, enjoy giving it attention. But if you are forcing yourself to focus–you are actually causing resistance that can cause delay. If you’ve been noticing the length of time it is taking for your desire to come–you are slowing down the process.

“Allowing” means staying out the the way, while you allow the Law of Attraction to deliver your desire.

To Focus Or Not To Focus

You’re The Inspiration

Thank God inspiration didn’t wait for me. Had it done so, I’d probably still be trying to ward off the person holding the knife.

I wasn’t trying to be inspired. I was trying to survive – literally trying to spare my own life. I knew if I didn’t hold the door closed then the knife in the hands of the other person would be slashing at my flesh.

Trapped in the back room of the house, nowhere else to run, all my weight pressed against wood, knowing the other person wouldn’t give up. That was when it happened.

Inspiration intervened.

‘Put your coat on and let them in,’ a small voice inside me whispered.

I looked at my coat hanging on the peg, a big thick skiing jacket. Would it protect me?


I unhooked it as I rested as much of my weight as I could against the door. Slipping it over my shoulders the small voice continued. ‘Now let them in a bit at a time. A crack in the door at first, then let it open. When you feel it’s right, pull them inside.’

It sounded bizarre to me, to allow someone attacking me to come beyond the piece of wood separating us, but that’s exactly what I did, disarming them and then holding them until it was safe to let go.

You could argue that the small voice in my mind was the voice of common sense. You might call it intuition, spirit guides, God, or just plain crazy!

I’ve come to think of it as the voice of inspiration. Back then the voice of inspiration came as a surprise. Today, it’s more of a friend.

The example I’ve given you may have saved my life, but since then it’s helped me build and shape my life.

As I said at the beginning, ‘Thank God inspiration didn’t wait for me,’ because I don’t think I’ve necessarily been good at preparing to hear it’s wise voice.

Yet inspiration has been with me, nudging, suggesting and playing around until I follow it’s wisdom, change my reality and look back and laugh at myself for not following it’s guiding force sooner.

Once a man wanted to win the lottery. For weeks he prayed to God and each week when his win failed to materialize, he complained during his prayers.

Then one day God came down and spoke to him. ‘Meet me half way,’ God’s voice boomed. ‘At the very least, buy a ticket!!’

And I think this is a little like what Edison meant when he said, ‘Genius is 5% inspiration and 95% perspiration.’

Inspiration is just the thought, the idea, the guidance. Perspiration is the practical application, the grounding, the making it happen. And when we get this part right, who knows what great things we can create.

Today’s exercise

1. Go about life

2. Notice what goes on outside you

3. Notice what goes on inside you

With Love and good wishes


You’re The Inspiration