It’s all about love. It may seem trite to say, but its true. Love is where it’s at.

What do you want to do in life? It goes easier with love in your heart.
Want better relationships, or a better family life? Make sure love is in your heart.
Trying to do a better job at work? Do it with love.
Trying to make a difference in anything? Start by finding love.
Is there pain in your life that needs mending? Love is what heals.
Are you lonely; still looking for that special someone? Love will find a way.

In a world of pain and anguish, of seemingly endless problems and crises, love is so often forgotten or overlooked. In times of national crisis does anyone advocate love and forgiveness? And how often do you, when faced with interpersonal conflict, remember to keep love in your heart for the person you are facing?

This, of course, is not to say that love alone will solve all problems. But it is to say that all approaches to any problem will always resolve quicker and easier and will lead toward healing when love is consciously present.

Violence does not stop violence; it only breeds more violence. Period. The scars born of violence do not go away; rather, they fester and return in kind.

Love dissipates violence. Not always immediately, but always eventually. This is why the most powerful advocates for peace are the most vocal advocates for love. We need only look at leaders like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, who both advocated nonviolent protest and loving the enemy, to see that armies may be conquered and systematic repression can be stopped with the use of long-term campaigns of love, kindness, and forgiveness.

Again, this is not to say that love alone is a panacea, a magic pill that cures all. It is only to say that all methods and plans for positive change will always work better when there is an undercurrent of conscious loving energy.

Love is the one thing that is universally revered as being good for us all, and yet, with tragic consequence, it is so often ignored as a technique for change. Indeed, finding and keeping love in our hearts is the only way to consistently promote and effect healing, on both a personal and a national level.

It is fear that drives us to violence, as individuals and as nations. It takes courage to look beyond that fear and to consider that forgiveness and acceptance are necessary elements in any healthy relationship, whether it’s between two people or between two cultures. Fear pushes away; love brings together.

Love is the universal element that can be used in any situation where positive change is needed. It is not the only element, but is the element that can be used anytime, anywhere.

Love is the answer.

We all want happiness. We all need appreciation. We all crave for recognition. We all want to be applauded. We all desire to be called as good and lovely human beings. We are all looking for this certificate from our friends, family and our partner. This makes us happy. This makes us feel good about ourselves. This gives us new confidence in ourselves. This all gives us a new and positive self esteem, which is very important.

How to get it? Let us do all this for others. If no one is praising us, let us praise others. Let us do all that we want others to do to us. Let us give love, affection, appreciation, and let us applaud others even for a very small victory. Will this help us? It helps us immediately. The first feeling we get after doing a good deed is feeling of satisfaction. This raises our self esteem in our own eyes. This makes us feel good. By making others happy, we get happiness. So let us become proactive and get all we want by not asking for it, but giving it.

What will happen to others when they get such praise from us? They will feel very happy. They will be happy with us. They will like us even more. They will like to do something in return. They will do all that we have been wishing for. Send happiness to get happiness. The shortest route to a lovely life.

Happiness is a state of mind, when one feels contented with oneself. One feels cheerful with one’s life and circumstances. Remaining unhappy is not our goal in life, but happiness is our goal. If we are not happy, life become a burden. One lives, but only because one has no choice. Why not make happiness a part of everyday living?

Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming pool that sit unused? Is it that you don’t have time to use them because you have to work so much just to pay for them? Sometimes it seems like all the things we own somehow own us.

The bad news is that it’s often true. We have to arrange our lives around our things. You get a new truck that can go anywhere, but you’re too busy working to go there. Someone is out fishing while you are putting in overtime to pay for your fishing boat. You use your large-screen television a lot, but does it sufficiently reduce the debt-stress that came with it?

Break The Chains!

The good news is that there’s a better way. Actually, there are three better ways. First, know what you really value. Second, use cash instead of debt. Third, learn how to look at costs and benefits.

Will you really enjoy that $2,000 mountain bicycle enough? Maybe. This isn’t about right or wrong desires. It’s a question of truly seeing your own values. Think back to things you’ve bought but not used, or not used enough. What truly enjoyable things could you do with that money if you had it now? You’ve got to be self aware and honest.

Cash is king. The price may seem the same, but put those things on a credit card and, with interest, you’ll pay a lot more. Cash means you have to save and wait a little for things, but you can buy more and have less stress. Credit cards provide the illusion of a richer life. Escaping debt gives you the reality.

Finally, learn to understand costs and benefits. A friend once came to the realization, using pen and paper, that his jetski cost him $300 for every hour he used it the first year. Loan interest, gas, insurance, depreciation, repairs, licenses – these things add up. And he thought it was too expensive to pay $100 per day to rent one! Consider the real costs of things, and look for a cheaper way, or at least make an honest decision that it’s worth $300 per hour to you.

Your things should be making your life better. If they aren’t, you need to start looking at them differently. Don’t let your things own you. Change your approach.

God created the world. Humans in their own insignificant way are also creating things. The urge to create is inborn in human beings. God created the world for the happiness of humankind. Humans are creating things for their happiness, enjoyment, comfort, and survival. The common thread in all human made things is happiness.

There is a vast field of music and art and literature. One can devote one’s entire life to any of them and be supremely happy. Humans have made some things expressly for happiness games and sports, food and drinks, TV and motorcars, ships, and planes. And, of course, there is money and all the things and services one could buy with it.

A single genre of literature, a single instrument of music, a single school of dancing, is enough to fill us with happiness. We know of persons who have made a single aspect of the world their passion and devoted their entire life to it and derived success and happiness out of it. It may be bird watching, white water rafting, tennis, football, poetry, or films. In fact life is too short to enjoy all the happiness it offers to us through all its aspects. The problem is not that there is not enough of happiness in the world. But it is the opposite. There is too much of it.

Fine arts, whether it is poetry or prose, fiction or non-fiction, painting, music, or dance, has the power to engross us and make us infinitely happy. In fact, one may live in the world of fine arts and be ever happy. I am perfectly happy sitting under a quiet bower beside a calm river under the serene sky with a book in hand, or lying in the bed under a cozy quilt on a rainy day listening to great classics.

Take for example, literature. It gives mental pleasure that is superior to the worldly pleasure. It does not require external favourable conditions, except a book. There are many books in the world that I consider everybody must read. It is not necessary that one reads only the best or the most serious books only. One can take occasional bad book with good books. As a starter, I would recommend that you go to your neighborhood library, and get a good book according to your taste. It need not necessarily be serious literature. Get a detective novel or romance book or even comics. In the evening cozily settle down in the bed or sofa and read. May be next week read another book. Once the habit is formed try to read serious literature. Make reading a life long habit.

I find sports a great source of happiness. You derive great happiness and peace of mind playing any game. You also get exercise which is good for your body. But there is another benefit. While you are playing your mind is far away from worldly problems. You don’t think of them while you play. I believe that playing is a sort of meditation.

“The secret of happiness is this: let your interest be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile” Bertrand Russell.

BE HAPPY!

Copyright 2006 Margaret Stead

The ‘Golden Rule’ occurred in the Greek and Chinese cultures thousands of years before the Christian era: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The spirit of the Golden Rule is one of generosity and altruism and is at the heart of any personal networking and ‘right’ living. Ralph Waldo Emerson said ‘To have a friend, you have to be one’, and his words are as true today as they ever were.

You can test this out yourself by completing the following simple exercise:

List ten people you know best: 1 – 10

After each name, write an ‘H’ if the person is happy, or an ‘N’ if the person is not happy. (H/N S/N) Then write an ‘S’ if the person is selfish or a ‘U’ for unselfish. Rimland in Psychological Reports (51); Brain/Mind Bulletin 1983 defines ‘selfish’ as:

“A stable tendency to devote one’s time and resources to one’s own interests and welfare – an unwillingness to inconvenience oneself for others.”

In his experimental study, the 2000 individuals who completed this exercise reported very few individuals who were both happy and selfish. The findings represent an interesting paradox.

Selfish people are, by definition, those whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness. Yet at least as judged by others, these selfish people are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy.

So the Golden Rule in networking, as in life, is if you think about the other person rather than yourself, not only is that going to increase your empathy and rapport skills but it will make you a much more attractive person to know and be a magnet for personal happiness.

Another vital part of your networking skills is your ability to build rapport quickly and effectively with others. Successful rapport building will attract others to you and in turn attract personal happiness.

To build rapport successfully with another individual you need to understand ‘where’ they are coming from and have ’empathy’ with them.

People often think of empathy as a mystical commodity, a special, almost uncanny ability to experience the thoughts and feelings of someone else. In fact ’empathy’ is quite simply applied imagination and only requires a little exertion and discipline.

The next time you are sitting in a room conversing with three or more people, try this very simple activity:

Temporarily remove yourself from the conversation. Be very quiet for a few moments. Pay particular attention to the person doing the most talking.

Imagine the following things: Imagine the physical sensations the speaker is experiencing.

Mentally place yourself in that person’s body, sitting or standing in a particular position, eating the same food, drinking the same drink.

Mentally become that person. Do you feel energised? Tired? Irritated?

Imagine what kind of day the speaker has had – using all your knowledge about the speakers’ day. If you know little about the person, guess.

Continue to imagine yourself as that person. How does your day colour and affect what you are saying? Imagine the person’s relationship’s to everyone in the room – including yourself.

Continue to mentally be that person. What kind of feelings are generated by the people around you? How do they affect the things you say?

Now step back into yourself and rejoin the scene. Does your own role in the conversation feel different? Empathy, like memory is a creative act, not a mystical property and it requires imagination and practice.

It lies within the grasp of all of us.

If you want to enjoy your life out of spending, enjoy if you have you have your own resources and money.

But don’t enjoy your life by becoming a debtor to somebody.

Of course in the modern world, there are many ways and means, which force you to become a debtor.

Attractive advertisements in the satellite TV force you to become a debtor. It tempts you to buy the modern amenities at any cost.

Even though if you don’t have any money or resources it show you many resources for obtaining credit to buy that product. But you must think thousand times before becoming a debtor.

In today’s world credit is the easily available commodity. Numerous companies are waiting to pull you in their trap. They are competing severely to pull you in their trap.

But you must be careful to entangle in that trap.

In spite of this caution if you are prepared to enjoy, then you won’t get any pleasure, but you will lose your peace of mind.

Let us discuss about the common desire of everybody. It is natural that every body wants to have their own house. It is a reasonable desire.

But the desire can be attained if you have enough money on your own to buy the house.

If you are an executive working in a company what will be your thinking?

You will ready to apply for some loan and buy that house. You have decided and applied for a loan also and the loan has also been sanctioned.

You will ask the engineer to construct the house with in the sanction of loan.

The Engineer on seeing the plan will say “Sir, you are constructing house once in your lifetime, why such a low budget house, we can increase slightly your plan sir, it won’t cost much only a 10% increase in your normal budget” he will tempt you.

By that time you will also have some Himalayan courage, and think why we can’t adjust that 10% increase, ok we can adjust that 10% increase by obtaining loan from our relatives, and you give consent to the engineer’s suggestion.

The Engineer will begin to build your house. The house is also going to be completed soon and only some finishing work is there.

You ask your engineer ‘when can I take possession of the house’, sir?

The engineer will politely tell you, Sir, there is a small problem, the problem is there is a sudden increase in the cost of materials, so I fear whether it is possible to complete the building what we have already planned.

But you are in the dream that the house should be constructed at any cost. So you don’t bother about the resource to complete the house and prepared to arrange for the money required for completing the house.

What you will do. The next thing before you will be some bank balances available out of your savings and the jewels of your wife or your children.

So your savings, jewels will all go from you and fill the cashbox of another businessmen.

Your house will become ready finally. On seeing the house raised beautifully you forgot all the sources where the money came from to complete the house.

You will forget about the loan you obtained from your company.

You will forget about the loan you obtained from your relatives.

You will forget about the erosion of your savings and jewels.

All these will come to your remembrance only when the company commences their recovery for the loan you obtained.

All these will come to your remembrance only when your relatives need the money they paid.

All these will come to your remembrance when you don’t have enough money in your savings account for your urgent requirement.

Then your mind will think about the resource to fill up the deficit in the family budget, the loan to repay to your relatives and for your urgent requirement.

You will get easy resource to fill up this deficit, because you are working in a company, getting regular salary, higher salary. Companies are ready to give credit.

You are also ready to get credit from another company to fill up the deficit.

So you are ready to close the small debt pit, and begin to dig another debt pit, which is little more in size than the first pit.

The same deficit pressure mounts after some time. Again you are prepared to obtain loan from another company.

Now you dig another debt pit, which is more than the size of first and second debt pit.

Like this you will go on digging pit after closing the earlier pit to overcome your deficit.

Finally at one stage when you see the remaining pit, it will look like a deep pit, which you cannot fill it up from any source.

So the ultimate choice before you will be to dispose off the house and fill up the huge pit finally stands before you.

You have also made arrangements to dispose off the house.

One person came forward to buy the house. Even though the rate offered by him is not as expected by you, you have no other option except to get the money and fill it up the debt pit.

The house was finally sold off and you got the money. But while working out the amount you have to settle to your debtors, you need some more money.

However with the proceeds realized out of selling the house, you have settled most of the debt and still keep some portion of the debt.

You have lost all your savings, jewels, and other resources and still you have to settle more debts?

Where all of your money has gone?

It is no secret, most part of your debt were for the interest.

The interest made you to close one pit and dig another pit and finally you was let with a big pit with most part of the pit were for interest.

This is a common plight of most of the families especially in the middle class peoples.

The reason is due to their mental capability to enjoy all modern amenities without knowing their economic capability.

Enjoying the life is absolutely necessary but it should be from our own resources. We can enjoy the life but not on obtaining debt.

We have to increase our resources to enjoy the life. We should find out the opportunities to increase our resources and then think about enjoying the amenities.

Greetings self help reader,

Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can’t rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won’t. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse
or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.

Much continued positive attitude success,

The creator of “Positive Attitude Secrets”

Are you looking into ways to help you to gain more confidence? Have you a lack of self-belief? Do you think that you are a weak person? Would you like to be more care-free person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this article may well be worth a read. I am going to write about how people can go about increasing their self-confidence. This advice is what I have used to help myself turn from an often depressive person to a now happy and relaxed young man.

My name is Steve Hill and I have to admit that for the first twenty-two years of my life, I did not exactly live life to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. I needed to change this approach as I was not exactly a happy chap. Ten years ago I went about making this change by reading literature about self-confidence and by trying to learn how other people coped with their problems compared to me.

One of my many weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I was desperate for people to like me and would easily get upset if people criticised me or made fun of me etc. In a way, I tried to hard to earn this type of respect and would do things and attend functions which I did not really want to, just to please other people of course.

I have now realised and accepted that it is important for me to be truthful to myself. I should be doing what I want to do and if people do not like me for whatever reason, then that is fine, I have enough people who do.

I have also decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier, in fact it makes it a lot harder. There is no time in life for this type of fear, I should be spending this time trying to improve and enjoying my life. If something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.

As an example of my new found inner confidence was something that happened during a recent evening out I had with some friends of mine. We were all drinking quite a lot of beer and it was clear that most of my friends were intent on becoming very drunk. I like a drink but not half as much as what other people seem to. At around nine o’clock I had basically had enough of drinking alcohol and started to drink diet coke. My friends gave me some funny looks and made some comments, they were suggesting that I was not a true male. I did not care what they thought of me and told them so. If I want to drink diet coke then I will.

I am happy with my latest approach to life and am determined not to go back to the way I used to think and live. I do stress at times but quickly attempt to snap out of it by thinking in a more positive way.

People always think that what they want is money, relationship, material possessions, but what they truly want is happiness. Wealth, health and relationship are just the rewards of being happy. Happiness is a state of vibration that is in harmony with the universe. As you have already known, the same frequency vibrations tend to attract each other, so the vibration of happiness is going to attract more wealth, better relationship and better health, since these things is going to add more happiness to your life, and they are in the same vibration. If you go after money, you may not get it, if you go after happiness, money will flow to you. The same apply to relationship and health.

I believe the ultimate goal in life is to achieve a state of well being, or we can simply say happiness.

Is there an easier way to achieve happiness? The answer is Yes! and I am now going to show you how.

I had learned one phrase from Dr Wayne Dyer, and I would never forget. The phrase is ” How may I serve?”. Dr dyer said that before his seminars, he will always sit for mediation, and repeat the phrase as a mantra “How may I serve… How may I serve?”. He never bring any notes with him, and when he speaks, the words just keep flowing to him. He knows exactly what to say, and what to teach. Dr Wayne Dyer is one of my best role model. He has achieved great success in almost every ear of his life. I believe the one single most important element to Dr Wayne Dyer’s success is this mantra “How may I serve?”

Ask yourself now “How may I serve?”. This is the key to ultimate happiness and fulfillment in life. I would like to share some of my own experience.

The most enjoyable things in my life at this stage is writing articles that can makes a difference in the quality of people’s life. Whenever I finish writing an article, I feel the positive energy all over my body. I sometime get puzzled myself, where does this information come from? How do I write so many articles, having thousands of people read my articles every week? I finally realized the secret is within this phrase “How may I serve?”.

Every time when I write a article for my newsletter, I sit in front of my computer, and ask myself “How may I serve, How may I serve?”. Strangely, the ideas will come, and I put my fingers on the keyboards, then words just starts following.

I didn’t understand how this process works, until one day I realized that the information does not come from me, it comes from God (or the Higher Intelligence), I am only an channel for the information to flow. I am a channel that God has created to serve the world. Because that is what I am here for, so when I am serving, I feel positive energy, and I feel happy.

I have learned that my life purpose is to serve, and I think this is applicable to everyone. This is what God wants me to learn, this is also what God wants you to learn. You will only truly feel fulfilled once you realize this truth. “Your life purpose is to serve” I am sure you have heard of that “If you seek happiness for yourself, it will always elude you, if you seek happiness for others, you will find it for yourself.” I know this is why every time I finish an article, I feel so happy, because I know that my article is going to benefits thousands of people, and It is going to change the world to some extend. Maybe 90% of people will not take any action after they read my article, this is nature of human being., but I know as long as they read, their awareness is expanded, and they will see the difference in the long run. For that less than 10% of people who do take actions, I know my words are going to change their lives for the better. What a great thing I am doing! I am proud of it. I am feeling so happy about it.

So start from today, find ways to help other people . Find some way to serve. You will get addicted to it, because it is so enjoyable to help. Your help is going to change people’s lives.

I often receive emails from my subscribers asking me for help. You can imagine how happy I am after I answer their questions? I know that this person’s life is going to change for the better just because of my words. How wonderful that is!

Here is an secret I want you to know…

The person who benefits the most is not the one you give service to, but yourself. You may find it sounds strange, but this is true, and it is governed by the universal law of cause and effect. Anything you cause others to experience will come back to you, and multiplied. If you cause others to experience love, you will find more love in your life; If you cause others to have wealth, you will have more in your own life; if you cause others to succeed, you are guaranteed to succeed. This is the law of the universe, and it never fails.

So, whatever you want to experience in your life, cause others to experience first. This is the most powerful ways to attain your own desires, and the easiest way to achieve happiness

Do you know that you are emitting signals that the universe responds to? It’s like we’re all emitting radio signals that go out into the universe and match us up with anything on the same wavelength, bringing to us the circumstances and events which make up our lives.

The signals you emit are made up of your thoughts, beliefs, and the emotions that these create within you. You’re experiences tend to match what you’ve got your focus upon.

You do have the power to affect your experiences by paying attention to what you focus upon. This is where your power is. If you are focused upon the negative aspects of your experience, you will create more of the same, which you then focus on and create more of, and so on in a vicious cycle. Fortunately, this works the other way around too! If you choose to focus on the positive aspects of any experience, you will create more positive aspects you can then focus on, and continue bringing more positive experiences into your life. Even if you can only find one positive aspect to focus on in a situation that has many more negative aspects, and you keep choosing to keep your focus on the one positive part, you will soon see improvement in that situation that will give you more that’s positive to focus on. It’s a gradual, continual process. And it works!

Just because something is how it is, does not mean it has to stay that way! Just because you’ve had a lot of it in the past, does not mean you’re doomed to have more of it in the future! If you don’t like it, know that you do have the power to change it. And if you do like it, know that you can create more of it, if you wish to.

Gradually shifting your perception to include more of what you do like, opens the flow so more like it can come to you.

Over the last few years I have found many incredibly helpful resources to help anyone along the path to greater joy. Now I’m setting up a website to share these resources with others.

Wishing you increased satisfaction and more joy!

Carrie McLain