This is a time of year when many people take stock of all that they are grateful for — or at least when we should do so. But this should also be a time when we take stock of all those people who contributed to those gifts — especially the intangible ones. Those gifts such as our self-esteem or confidence, our love of sports or music, and our spine. What person or group do you owe the greatest debt? Was there a special person or group that really helped you become the person you are today?

Was there someone who helped you believe in yourself and your ability? Was there someone who taught you to appreciate life in a new way? Was there just someone who was there so you could count on them no matter what?

Most of us have been fortunate to have not just one person but a whole team of teachers, coaches, and mentors who helped us grow and reach our potential. We should remember to thank those people again and again as we live the lives they helped us shape. Even more important we need to repay that debt — not to those individuals but to society. How is your debt? Have you paid it yet or are you still pretending it doesn’t exist?

We often hear the expression as it relates to criminals. It is sometimes used as a euphemism for incarceration. The truth is though that we all owe a debt to society. Not because we have done some harm to the community but instead because we have benefited from someone else doing good.

I am a Presbyterian and our expression of the Lord’s Prayer includes the phrase “And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. Obviously no matter how good we are and how exemplary our lives we can never repay our debt to God or his son so that part of the meaning is rather clear. I also think this means that we should do good for goodness sake rather than any potential benefit we may reap from the act.

I also think there is another level of meaning and this comes back to the central idea of our debt to society. I think when it comes down to acts of kindness there cannot be a one-to-one relationship. Obviously in many cases when a person is in need of help they may never be in a position to return that help in kind. But it isn’t really what we want or need when we offer help or kindness in any case.

Whenever I do something charitable, helpful, or kind, I tend to view the act as contributing to a vast fund of kindness. Many times in my life I have profited from this fund and very likely I will continue to profit from it.

One of the reasons I like this concept is that I do think of it as a sort of fund or bank. The value grows exponentially rather than incrementally just as money would do if similarly invested. We should all be grateful for this because the truth is that we usually don’t pay our debt to society.

Most of us will write the occasional check, buy a ticket for some raffle, and/or spend a few hours working here and there on some pet project. There are a few who will go much further than this and spend a large portion of their time, energy, and/or money for the greater good but they are far too few.

Often whenever we face pressure on our time or finances then it is our philanthropic activities that are the first to be sacrificed. I have been all too guilty of this myself. I wonder what would happen if we reversed this and instead put helping others first rather than last?

My challenge to you this week is simply to find a way to add to our goodness fund. Borrow from the concept of “Pay It Forward”. When someone offers you a helping hand then be sure to pass the favor along at the first opportunity. Don’t pick and choose. Don’t balance your checkbook first. Don’t take the easy path. Do what is right. You will know it when you see it.

We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:

1. Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.

Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you’ve been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You’ll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.

2. Enjoy something you do well.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of ‘flow’. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.

Afterwards, you’ll feel competent and capable. It’s a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don’t have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you’ve always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesn’t have to be something big – it can be as simple as joining a walking club.

You’ll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.

3. Shift the focus.

It’s been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.

You’ll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

At the end of the day, you’ve interacted with others and will notice that you feel much lighter.

4. Relax, already!

Learning to become more relaxed is a great life enhancer. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.

Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you’ve never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

5. Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my driver’s test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.

These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.

Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.

Scientific experts from around the world are genuinely predicting that five years from now, all life on Earth could well finish. Some are saying it’ll be humans that set it off. Others believe that a natural phenomenon will be the cause. And the religious folks are saying it’ll be God himself who presses the stop button…

1. Mayan Calendar

The first mob to predict 2012 as the end of the world were the Mayans, a bloodthirsty race that were good at two things:

Building highly accurate astrological equipment out of stone and
Sacrificing Virgins.

Thousands of years ago they managed to calculate the length of the lunar moon as 329.53020 days, only 34 seconds out. The Mayan calendar predicts that the Earth will end on December 21, 2012. Given that they were pretty close to the mark with the lunar cycle, it’s likely they’ve got the end of the world right as well.

2. Sun Storms

Solar experts from around the world monitoring the sun have made a startling discovery: our sun is in a bit of strife. The energy output of the sun is, like most things in nature, cyclic, and it’s supposed to be in the middle of a period of relative stability. However, recent solar storms have been bombarding the Earth with so much radiation energy, it’s been knocking out power grids and destroying satellites. This activity is predicted to get worse, and calculations suggest it’ll reach its deadly peak sometime in 2012

3. The Atom Smasher

Scientists in Europe have been building the world’s largest particle accelerator. Basically its a 27km tunnel designed to smash atoms together to find out what makes the Universe tick. However, the mega-gadget has caused serious concern, with some scientists suggesting that it’s properly even a bad idea to turn it on in the first place. They’re predicting all manner of deadly results, including mini black holes. So when this machine is fired up for its first serious experiment in 2012, the world could be crushed into a super-dense blob the size of a basketball.

4. The Bible says…

If having scientists warning us about the end of the world isn’t bad enough,religious folks are getting in on the act aswell. Interpretations of the Christian Bible reveal that the date for Armageddon, the final battle between Good an Evil, has been set down for 2012. The I Ching, also known as the Chinese book of Changes, says the same thing, as do various sections of the Hindu teachings.

5. Super Volcano

Yellowstone National Park in the United States is famous for its thermal springs and Old Faithful geyser. The reason for this is simple – it’s sitting on top of the world’s biggest volcano, and geological experts are beginning to get nervous sweats. The Yellowstone volcano has a pattern of erupting every 650,000 years or so, and we’re many years overdue for an explosion that will fill the atmosphere with ash, blocking the sun and plunging the Earth into a frozen winter that could last up to 15,000 years. The pressure under the Yellowstone is building steadily, and geologists have set 2012 as a likely date for the big bang.

6. The Physicists

This one’s case of bog-simple maths mathematics. Physicists at Berekely Uni have been crunching the numbers. and they’ve determined that the Earth is well overdue for a major catastrophic event. Even worse, they’re claiming their calculations prove, that we’re all going to die, very soon – while also saying their prediction comes with a certainty of 99 percent- and 2012 just happens to be the best guess as to when it occurs.

7. Slip-Slop-Slap-BANG!

We all know the Earth is surrounded by a magnetic field that sheilds us from most of the sun’s radiation. What you might not know is that the magnetic poles we call north and south have a nasty habit of swapping places every 750,000 years or so – and right now we’re about 30,000 years overdue. Scientists have noted that the poles are drifting apart roughly 20-30kms each year, much faster than ever before, which points to a pole-shift being right around the corner. While the pole shift is underway, the magnetic field is disrupted and will eventually disappear, sometimes for up to 100 years. The result is enough UV outdoors to crisp your skin in seconds, killing everything it touches.

Do you believe it?

No way,

Y2k was also predicted as the end of the world and just turned out to be a fluke to get you to spend a lot of money to ugrade your computer. I proved it a fluke by leaving my 1993 old compter one and the internal clock changed over to 2000 no issues at all.

This is from a forum in 2004.

no one can ever know when or what time the world should come to an end. Evey 10 billion years? Who knows. i believe in God and Jesus very strongley but truthfully i dont think they even have all these kinds of answers. and supposedly when the dinosaurs died they died from a meteroid that hit earth! every 10 billion years its supposed to hit and on Sept.27.04 is our 10 billionth year, i guess.and right now at this very second our astronauts are trying to find a way to destroy it! but if u think it takes 6 months to get to mars, if the meteroid is on the way it should be near mars and we cant see it and its supposed to be hotter than the sun im sure our world would be alot brighter. so in my opinion if your really obsessed with this whole end of the world thing i suggest you prove your point and show the rest of us the facts of our death date.

Another the same year.

Aright, the world is ending in about 8 months, around December of 2004. There are about 5 comets headed straight for Earth coming toward the south pole. No one ever knew about this event until they built an observatory in Antarctica and saw that they were coming. They kept this event on the low and they killed the scientists that studied there so the world wouldn’t freak out and so the economy would drop drastically. If the whole world knew, people would be running around all over and stealing things and breaking out of jails etc. I heard this on AM Coast To Coast radio program. Its nation wide show on the radio every night so you should listen to it and discover interesting things for yourself.

Nostradamus

Actually, the Bible shows that not even the Son knows the date or hour, but that ‘only the Father’ knows. (See Matthew 24:36) Since Nostradamus is not the Father, it becomes obvious that he could not know of any timing secrets, if you believe the Bible. Notice that in verse 13, we are told clearly what we must do to become saved: endure with faithfulness until the end actually occurs. One can not simply say “I believe upon the name of the Lord Jesus!” Words alone mean nothing. Also, John 11:25 shows that we need not be overly anxious or fearful of this coming hour, because the faithful ones will be taken care of.

By the way, when the Bible speaks of the “world” passing away, it is not talking about the Earth. Rather, it is talking about the wicked people of the Earth. If you speak of the world’s moral state, you do not speak of the ground and trees, but of the people. Isaiah 45:18 tells us that God did not make the Earth simply to destroy it, but to have it inhabited (by righteous people). Again, a close look at the Bible can bring comfort. 🙂

The Bible says no one will know.

The Bible describes believers as living in a state of expectancy, in a state of tension, between two worlds. We live in the present world, which we know will end, while we look for the world to come with the return of Christ. “So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him” (Matthew 24:44, NIV).

Me? Since it really cannot be predicted I do not believe we will ever know in advace.

What do you Believe?

I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. Every individual I’ve worked with has had some abandonment wound to heal, and most relationship problems stem from abandonment wounds.

It is not possible to grow up in our society without some abandonment wounds. The following are some of the ways it can occur:

* Being torn away from mother at birth and put into a nursery.

* Being left to cry in a crib or playpen.

* Being given up for adoption or being left in foster care.

* Being physically and/or sexually abused.

* Being emotionally abused – ignored, yelled at, shamed.

* Being pushed aside at the birth of a new sibling.

* Having a parent or caregiver who is emotionally unavailable.

* Being unseen or misunderstood by parents or other caregivers.

* Being lied to.

* Being unprotected by a parent or caregiver.

* Being left alone in a hospital during an illness.

* Losing a beloved parent or grandparent at a very young age.

* Divorce.

* Being teased or left out with siblings or peers.

* Being ridiculed by a teacher.

* Being forgotten – not being picked up from school or other places.

* Being left at a young age to care for oneself, a parent, or other siblings.

When we are deeply wounded at a young age, we cannot handle the pain, so we find ways to dissociate from the intense feelings. Then, later in life, especially when we fall in love, these old wounds can get activated. Our beloved gets angry, withdraws, gives attention to someone else, says mean things, doesn’t tell the truth, doesn’t stand up for us, comes home late, wanders away in a crowded public place, misunderstands us, and so on – and suddenly the pain that has been pushed aside all these years comes roaring to the surface. We think that we are reacting to the present situation, but what is really happening is that the old, unhealed abandonment wound has been touched off. We might find ourselves suddenly enraged or falling apart with intense tears. Our reaction seems too big for the situation, yet we cannot seem to stop the inner pain. We might start to shake violently as the old terror finally erupts.

We want our beloved to take the pain away by stopping his or her behavior. If only he or she would not do the thing that activates these feelings, we would be fine. Yet until we actually heal these old, deep wounds, we will not be fine. We will always be vulnerable to having these wounds activated.

Healing the abandonment wounds does not happen overnight, yet it does not have to take years either. Step one is to tune into your feelings with a willingness to take responsibility for your pain. Once you are aware that deep pain has been activated, seek the help of someone who can hold you and nurture you while you go into the abandonment pain. If no one is available, hold a doll, bear or pillow, and bring in love to the hurting part of you. Open to your concept of God or Spirit and allow this source of love and strength to nurture you.

It is often not advisable to seek the help of the person who activated the wound because:

1) he or she may still be stuck in their own wounded place, the place that touched off your wound;

2) you might become dependent upon your beloved taking care of you and taking the pain away instead of actually healing the pain.

Once you are with a safe, nurturing person, or even on the phone with a safe person, hold a doll or bear or even a pillow very tightly and breath into the pain. Open to learning and allow the Inner Child who is in pain to give you information about the original pain that is still stuck in the body. The body holds the memories that you repressed at the time, and now the body is releasing these memories. Many images may come up as you open to learning with your Inner Child. Be sure you have your spiritual guidance with you, holding you, surrounding you with love and comfort as you open to learning about this deep pain. In order to truly understand your present reaction, you need to understand what happened to you when you were little. Keep breathing deeply and allowing your Inner Child to inform you, even if you are crying. Tell the person helping you what your Child is telling you about what happened to you when you were little. It may take awhile, but gradually you will calm down. At that point, tune into what false beliefs you may have embraced as a child that are affecting you now, and what else your Child needs right now to feel loved and safe.

Being there for your wounded child this way will gradually heal the abandonment wounds. Ignoring your feelings, trying to make them go away, or trying to get someone else to take them away will only serve to re-wound you. It is only when you no longer abandon yourself that the old wounds begin to heal. Eventually, another’s behavior that previously triggered your intense reaction will no longer do so. You may feel sad or lonely when a loved one gets angry or withdraws in some way, but as long as you continue to show up for yourself, the intense pain will not be there.

If the pain seems stuck in the body no matter what you do, then you need to seek out a practitioner who knows how to release old pain out of the body through acupressure or other bodywork.

Once these old wounds are healing, you will feel a new sense of personal power. Others’ behavior can no longer trigger you into these intensely painful feelings. However, a word of caution: we may think it is healed, only to discover another level when we move into a more intimate relationship, or more intimacy with a present partner. The closer the relationship, the deeper the wounds get activated. That is why the primary relationship is the most powerful arena for healing there is, and Inner Bonding – the process outlined here – is a most powerful tool! (See resource box for a FREE Inner Bonding course).

I was pretty much raised in church, since the age of 7. When I was 25, I backslid from church, for many reasons. I was hurt by members of the church. The more I tried to understand God and why things were happening in the church, the more doubts and unanswered questions I had. This caused me to drift further and further from God.

Many times, during the next 16 years, I tried to go back to church, but it seemed like every time we attempted, things would happen to remind me why I left in the first place. I don’t want to dwell here on the particular reasons why I left my old church, but I do want to say that because of everything that happened, I developed major doubts about the even the existence of God. I started to think that maybe what I experienced was a lie. I mean, how could a loving God, who says that we have a choice to love Him or not, torment those who choose not to love Him? If someone were to do this in our society, we would put them in jail for this crime. Is it really a choice if we choose not to love Him and He tortures us when we choose not to love Him, by sending us to the Lake of Fire for eternity?

During my backslidden years, I spoke to several ministers and friends in the church about my unanswered questions about the “choice” that God has given us, but none could answer to my satisfaction. Nothing ever made sense to me, so I continued turning away from God. Through these years, my family was doing well. My wife and I had really good jobs, making nearly $100,000 a year. We had a nice, big house on a hill, new cars, motorcycle, and some money in our pockets.

Suddenly, in 2002, it all came crashing down! My wife and I both lost our jobs the same year, within 3 months of each other! We hung on for as long as we could, but went through all of our savings and eventually lost the house, cars, motorcycle and everything! My wife is a pharmacy technician with about 15 years of experience, working for Blue Care Network and even U of M Hospital in Ann Arbor, but she couldn’t even get an interview for a possible pharmacy technician position, let alone a job. I am a graphic designer/network administrator with about 15 years of experience, as well, and worked for EDS, GM, Delco, Delphi, and other companies, but couldn’t get an interview, either.

Finally, when we got to the bottom, and the only direction we could go was up, we turned to God. We asked Him to help us and I was able to get a job. It didn’t pay as much as my last job, but was within a few dollars an hour. So I took the job. At least it was a job. It took my wife another year before she got a job. It wasn’t in her field, and it was half the pay, but it was a job. Now, with our financial situation at least afloat, we didn’t need God and stopped talking to Him. Slowly, things started getting bad. My boss was unbearable to work for. I also started getting sick on a regular basis, causing me to miss work, which caused my boss to make it even more difficult to work for. This is the type of person who doesn’t trust anyone and tells you that he doesn’t trust you. He even dug through my trash, while sitting next to me, to see what I had written down and thrown away! He would always come around the corner real fast and look at my monitor to see what I was doing. I was never treated like a grown-up, but a child. So I decided to start my own computer business and leave this job. Since my wife was working, and I already had some customers, I decided to take the plunge. At first, things were going well, but then things got bad, and then worse. For nearly 3 months, I got hardly any computer jobs. I design websites and work on computers and networks, but the work just seemed to disappear. Eventually, we were pretty much living on my wife’s income, which just barely paid the rent, let alone any food, gas, utilities, etc. Things were looking hopeless.

Finally, we got back to the place where there was nowhere else to turn, but God. So, with my tail between my legs, I turned to God and told Him that we are at the bottom again. I told Him that it seems like every time things fall apart, and there is nowhere else to turn, that I come crawling back to Him. I told Him that we have no food, we can’t pay the rent, we have no gas to get to work or get the kids to school (school is a half hour away from our house). The heat was about to be turned off, my business phone was about to be disconnected, without which I couldn’t make any money. My landlord was upset that the rent was again 3 weeks behind, and we had nearly two weeks to go before my wife got paid. I didn’t know what to do, so I told God that if he got us out of this mess that I would serve Him. I told Him that I had to pay the rent within the next few days, and that I needed to feed my family and had no food. I told Him that if he fixed my immediate need and helped with the long-term need that I would know that He really existed and that he cared about me and my family. I also told Him that if he did this for me that I would be a witness for Him, that God does exactly what He says he will do and that all we have to do is ask and He will provide, even to a sinner/backslider like me, who has turned his back on God and gone back on his word so many times. God still loves us and cares about us. I told Him that I would tell everyone about what He did here, if He would get us out of this crisis. In fact, I challenged God to show me his glory and to impress me with a miracle so that my family and I could see that it HAD to be God who did this, that it could in no way be a coincidence that things just got better.
That night, I got a call from a friend of mine who told me that his girlfriend is a manager of a CPA firm and is having problems with her server and all of her computers and wants my help to fix them. He said that it will probably be a really big job, so I could make a good amount of money from them. He asked if I was interested, of which I said, YES! Within a day, I was asked to come out and help them with a problem that their proprietary accounting software company couldn’t help them with, after working with them for days on the problem. I told them that I would give it a shot and that I could probably help them (not even knowing this software or the specific problems that they were having).

On the way to the CPA job, I received a call on my cell phone from another friend of mine, who asked if I was still doing graphic design. I told him that I was mainly doing web design now, but could still do graphic design. He wanted to know if I could do some jobs for him and I gladly told him, yes. He said that it will probably be a few jobs and may turn into regular work, and was I still interested. I said, YES! Since he lost his regular designer, he is going to start sending me the work to do, which I will be able to do from home, and not drive one to two hours away to work at their office. Wow! I was really starting to get impressed with what God was doing and I actually laughed out loud in my car!

While driving to the CPA office, I asked God to help me on this job, since I didn’t know the software. They were also using an older network protocol that I was only vaguely familiar with, and didn’t know if I could help them or not, but since God gave me this job, I knew He would help me figure it out. When I got there, I took a look at what the problem was and had it figured out in 15 minutes. The company who sold them the software had eventually given up on them and told them flat out that they weren’t going to be able to fix the problem. God helped me fix it within minutes! In fact, it scared me that I had it fixed too quickly. Now that they were operational, there was no need to keep me there. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be making very much money on this job. So I spoke to my friend’s girlfriend and told her that I heard that their computers were running pretty slowly and asked if she wanted me to give them tune-ups. She said, yes, and didn’t even ask me how much. It took me 2 days to complete the tune-ups. I also quoted converting their network to a newer network protocol and installing a new server, which was approved by the boss within a day (even though she told me that money was tight and it would probably have to wait a couple of months). Within a few days, I made about $1500 from this company, because of the Lord!

While I was at this CPA firm, I overheard one of the workers there say that she was having trouble with her home computers and her Internet. I asked her if she needed help and she said that she would love some help, but it would probably be a nightmare to work on her problems. I told her that it would be no problem and that I could give her a hand. At lunch time that day, I followed her to her home and looked over her computer problems, after which I came back with a network job and a check for $250!
When I got home, I had a message on my business answering machine that someone else needed help with their computer, and I made another $99 fixing his computer.

The next day, I got a similar call about another computer problem, but this one is turning into a regular client. It is a retired rich person who needs ongoing help with their computer and is looking for a local person to keep their computer running and help with computer training.

Within these couple of days after my prayer to God, I also received a call from a guy who is starting a high-speed wireless Internet service for the Columbiaville, MI area (where I live). A month prior, I agreed to be a reseller for this service, since I too live in Columbiaville, and this would be a great service to offer to our community because there is no high-speed Internet access available. Previously, we had met and had hit if off right away. He also has a small computer company, and by all rights, we should be enemies, since we are competitors. However, that wasn’t the case. We decided to make it work, so that it benefited both of our small companies. Well, one of the services that his company provides is a specialized service that requires him to travel across the U.S., installing and configuring POS systems in various businesses. While on his way back from Wisconsin, recently, his very large, top-heavy van hit some black ice, which caused him to spin out of control. He was on a small, winding road in the hills, where there was no guard railing and there was a steep drop-off. He told me later that it was only by the grace of God that he didn’t roll the van off the embankment, where he would have surely died! If it would have been inches in either direction, the van would have caught in such a way that it would have flipped and went over the cliff! This got him thinking that if he would ever die, that his wife wouldn’t be cared for, since there would be no one to continue working the technical end of the business. So he called me (still within a day or so of my prayer to God about providing for my family) and asked me if I would be willing to be his partner and to take over, should he ever die. He wanted to make it legal and to put it in his will, as well as have a legal agreement with me, explaining what my responsibilities would be, and what percentage of the company I would receive while he is alive, and also after his death. He said that he got a certain vibe from me and he trusts me. He wanted to slowly work me into the business full time and would eventually make me a full partner, making a percentage of the businesses’ profit, plus a regular salary (without buying into his business). This is NEVER done! You don’t just get handed a partnership, where the other partner puts up all of the money. It could only have been the Lord!

One of my promises to God (in return for doing this for me) was that I would tell everyone what He has done. I first told my son. I explained everything that I just told you. Then, I called one of my brothers. I told him that I always wanted to come back to God, but I wanted to do it when things were going well. It seemed like every time things were going badly, I always came crying back to God and he would make things a little better, and then I would drift away. I didn’t want Him to think that I only came to Him because I needed something from Him. I wanted to come back to God because I loved Him and wanted to serve Him, not because I messed up again and needed His help out of another jam (well, it made sense to me). After telling my brother about what God had done for me, I told him that I still had a problem with the “choice” thing. I understand that God is real, since there was a dramatic response to my plea for help, but I still had a problem with being forced to love someone who says you have a choice to love Him, but will torture you if you don’t. Then I heard a little chuckle over the phone line. My brother said that this might be his fault and my father’s. I said that I didn’t understand. He proceeded to tell me that since my family and I had left church, he and my father always prayed for us. They used to pray that the Lord would lead us back to church and that He would bless us and help us. And He did. During this time we were blessed with the good jobs, nice cars, and extra money. Then, he said that he and my Dad noticed that things were going so well for us that it seemed like we thought we didn’t need God any more. Why ask for help if you don’t need it? So, they decided to pray for me in a different way. They started praying for God to do whatever it takes for us to get back into church. After that is when we started losing everything, which caused us to turn back to God and ask for help. It worked, for a short period of time. This was when I got the job after a year of being laid off. And you know the rest.

So, after hearing my brother tell me all of this, it became clear as a bell, and I said, “So YOU are the one! You are the one who is the cause of all of this mess!” And he started laughing. He said that he hoped I wasn’t upset, since he and my Dad may have caused the “Job” effect on my family, but it was to get my attention. Actually, it did get my attention. It took a few years, but I turned back to God. But most of all, I now see exactly what is going on and I also understand the “choice” thing. After fighting with the choice vs. torment conundrum, I finally see. I was looking at it all wrong before. What I thought was happening was that since I wouldn’t love God, He was causing all of these bad things to happen in my life… loss of jobs, house, cars, motorcycle, money, sanity, etc. But that wasn’t the case. It was because I had friends and family praying to God, asking Him to do whatever it takes to get my attention, so that I would turn back to Him. So in reality, it wasn’t even God doing it to me, taking away my choice to not serve him, it was the prayers of God-loving people that caused my financial downfall, which in turn, caused me to turn back to God for help. God wasn’t taking away my choice, and twisting my arm so that I would love Him. He was answering prayers of people whom He had given a choice, and chose God.
When I realized what was happening, I broke down and cried on the phone, while talking with my brother. I told him that it was the first time in 16 years that I finally understood the “choice” thing, and that we truly did have a choice. And I finally understood that when we don’t choose God, he doesn’t twist our arm until we choose Him. He twists our arm when people, who chose to love Him, ask Him to do so. He is just answering prayer. So, once I understood this, I told my brother to ask God to let me up now! I told him to tell God that He doesn’t have to twist my arm any more, I understand, and am coming back for good. I told him to now start praying that things get better for us, and he did, and they have!

This same brother has also been going through some tough times, financially. His health is pretty bad and he is disabled. His wife has had a hard time finding work, after being laid off from her job last year. I decided to return the favor and ask God to help his family, financially, and to help relieve some of the financial burden that they have. This was during the few days that I was working for the CPA. One of the 3 days that I was at the CPA firm, I overheard them talking about hiring a new girl for a receptionist job and that they needed to find someone right away. I asked the manager what type of person they needed and she told me. I told them that I knew someone looking for a job. They told me to get them her resume right away and they would interview her. So I told my brother, who got his wife’s resume over to their office, and she was hired the same day of the interview, making really good money! So not only did God work it out so that this CPA job helped my family, but also turned it into a win-win situation where my brother’s family benefited from it as well!
Because of the incredible quickness of the Lord’s response, I was able to pay the rent, buy some food, and pay a couple of bills within just a couple of days of my initial prayer for immediate help. I continued to pray and live right every day after that, and it only got better! But remember when I asked for immediate help and long term help? The immediate help couldn’t have been much more immediate and everything worked out perfectly. The long term help came from the wireless reseller. Not only is he making me a permanent partner within a couple of months, but while he was at another out-of-state job in Louisiana, he met an investor that was looking for a wireless Internet company to setup an infrastructure in Shreveport, LA, one that could service 60,000 users, including a military base. While talking with my partner, the investor asked if he had a business plan for his wireless business that he was starting here in Michigan. He, in fact, had it in his back pocket at the time, and was able to show it to him. It included cost breakdowns, phases of development and expansion, and so on. He was impressed and told him that he could have the money within a day of whenever he would be ready to get started in LA. So, within 6 to 8 months from now, I am going to be a big part of a very long term project and very large wireless Internet business with a guaranteed client base of 60,000 people, not to mention a multi-city, high speed wireless business here in Michigan! Something like this just doesn’t get handed to people. There is NO way that it could be anything else but God intervening in my situation and doing exactly what I asked him to do: provide immediate financial help for my family, as well as meet our long term financial need, and do it in such as way that it would be a miracle that only He could do. Remember when I challenged God to impress me with a miracle? Well, He did EXACTLY that! I get chills just thinking about how he connected all of the dots for me and intertwined each of the miracles together so that everything happened for a reason, and not only benefited me, but when I asked for help for my brother’s situation, he combined my miracle with one for my brother!

Oh, I almost forgot… through all of this, I also asked God to heal my Dad of his sickness. He has been ill a very long time, where he has a low oxygen level and gets tired very quickly. For a long time he hasn’t been able to do very much of anything for any length of time. Today, he told me that he finally feels human and came out the other side! This is huge! I am thanking God for this miracle and accepting it as a miracle of healing for my Dad. He has been to all kinds of doctors and specialists, both here and out of state, but no one can find the cause or fix the problem. I am claiming this as an answer to prayer and a miracle of healing for my Dad.
Now that I have seen what I have seen, I feel like Doubting Thomas. I needed to see the nail-scared hands and touch His wounds to believe, but at least I believe. Even though it took a little more for Thomas to be convinced that Jesus did what He said He would do, at least he finally believed and was saved. He went on to be a great Apostle for Jesus. I pray that I can be at least a fraction of that for Him.

I hope my testimony has helped you in some way to see that we do have a choice, and that God will do what we ask of Him (if it is in His will), and if we trust in Him and turn to Him. He can and will perform miracles in our lives! God loves us and wants to have a loving relationship with each of us. If God will grant ME a miracle (knowing the state that I was in), then I know He will do the same for YOU! You just have to trust in Him, have faith, and just ask!

I spend lots of time working with individuals, corporations and businesses to get them engaged in the present moment. The reasons I think this is important in business as well as personally are drawn upon toward the end of this article.

My centre here in Bournemouth used to sell a wide range of books and one that I used to stock was a book called “The Power of Now” by a guy called Eckhart Tolle. Lots of people that came to classes, workshops and consultations at the centre would often tell me how great it was and give me snippets of information about its content and for a number of years I would occasionally think “Yeah, I really should read that book” then kept on deciding that I would wait until later (yes, I am fully aware of the irony in this!) Nevertheless, I am already sold on the power of the present moment, for a number of reasons:

My First reason – Only this present moment exists.

I think this is by far the most compelling reason to put your attention on the present moment. Yesterday doesn’t exist, except as a memory, with all the unreliability we know to be true of memories; when you experienced yesterday, it was n-o-w. Tomorrow doesn’t exist either, except as an imaginary construct; when you experience tomorrow, it will be n-o-w. And as it’s all that exists, it’s a good idea to experience it, so, have a go at doing the following…

1) Sit with your feet flat on the floor, in a comfortable, aligned position (spine straight, hands on your thighs or at your sides, breathing comfortably.) With your eyes open or closed, allow yourself to become aware of the different sounds, sights, smells & sensations around you. This is the present moment.

That’s right. This is the present moment, & there are a number of good reasons for keeping your awareness in the present as much as possible (in addition to the first reason I gave.)

My Second Reason – There’s a whole lot more of it in store for you.

If you stop for a moment, you will realise that all the experiences of your life will take place in a present moment. The more comfortable you are with the present moment, the more comfortable you’ll be with those future presents.

My Third Reason – The present is where you are.

If in doubt, look at your hands. Your hands only exist in the present moment. Rub your fingers together, feel how it feels to be in this moment. Because it’s where your hands (& the rest of your body) are located, so…

My Fourth Reason – The present is the only time you can take action.

You can wish you took action yesterday (so many do; they rue the day that…..), but yesterday no longer exists, so it will remain a wish. You can plan to take action in the future, but when you take the action, it will be in the present moment. The only time you can take action is in this hot second.

My Fifth Reason – Wherever you’re headed, you presumably want to enjoy it when you get there. Get in the habit of enjoying the present now & you’ll be even better at enjoying then when you get there.

I took some amazing insight from my running experiences with my younger brother. When we ran and trained together and competed in races, he always enjoyed the race and commented on our surroundings whereas I always had my eye on the finish line. So much can and has been said about enjoying and engaging in the journey rather than always focusing on the future. Have a go at this one too….

2) Gently place the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth (continue to breathe easily.) Imagine you are holding a tiny droplet of oil between the tip of your tongue & the roof of your mouth.

I originally got this idea from Eric Robbie on a training he did with Michael Breen & I tinkered around with it a bit, & it’s a great way of turning off your internal dialogue. Turning off your internal dialogue is an excellent way of allowing yourself to focus on the present. This is particularly important if you want to be able to pick up the clues that people give you about how they’re thinking. Maybe I’ll write another article about that internal dialogue…….

“The only way to live is to accept each moment as an unrepeatable miracle, which is exactly what it is – a miracle and unrepeatable.”

— Margaret Storm Jameson

So, how do you relate this knowledge and my rantings to ones Business or day to day life?

Business and life today seems to operate at a faster & faster pace. People have lots of demands on their time, & need every advantage they can get to be more effective. When I do corporate and business consultancy, one of the most common ‘challenges’ that people want to deal with is being focused & making progress on important business objectives or life goals.

As I’ve investigated how people avoid being focused, I’ve found that, they are often not centred in the present. Instead, they are thinking about what’s happening tomorrow, or what happened yesterday, or running through a list of things that they need to do later. As a result, their attention is not in the present.

I used to work in Victoria in Central London and if you have ever been there during the rush hours it is a hectic place. What I find interesting is that you can tell who is engaged in the moment and who is thinking about their day or the next day. Those people whose awareness is within their heads, mulling over their day or dreading what’s in store tomorrow are the ones bumping into people or veering off in wrong directions. Whereas those people whose awareness is outside their heads and engaged in their surroundings are those that are balanced, poised and agile, like a panther!

When you bring your attention & energy into the present moment, you can accomplish things more quickly, solve problems more effectively, & enjoy the process more than you might expect. So, thirdly, have a go at connecting with the moment more and more in your days…

3) Before starting an important task, take a moment to centre yourself & relax. Then, get clear about what you want to accomplish, then begin.

I wish you all the very best and hope to engage in the present with many more people here.

THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING
In todays world, more and more people speak about the power of positive thinking. It is a concept that has a very high view of human nature and ability. Its advocates teach that the human mind has the power to turn wishes into reality through optimism. In other words The Power Of Positive thinking refers to the power of creating thoughts, which create and focus energy into reality. To bring into creation a positive outcome, which you see as a benefit to yourself or others.

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favourable results. A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds. This is a powerful tool that everybody has, but a lot of people are not aware of it.

Positive thinking includes:
1. Our innate capability to produce desired outcomes with positive thoughts.
2. Having belief in possibilities even when the facts seem to indicate otherwise.
3. Making creative choices.
4. Meeting problems head on.

Concept of Positive Thinking Explained

Everything in the world of form is preceded by a thought. Thoughts are not in the world of form, form is not in the world of thought. But one actually precedes the other in all cases. If one wishes to affect form, one must work with cause, not effect. Thought is cause, form is effect. And when we work in the realm of thought, choosing a negative one or a positive one will influence the outcome.

Simply put, we live in a world of cause and effect i.e. for every cause there is an effect and every effect has to have a cause. Everything that happens in this world (form) is an effect, the cause being thoughts. These thoughts affect the whole universe. And each thought once generated and sent out becomes independent of the brain and mind and will live upon its own energy depending upon its intensity.

All of our feelings, beliefs and knowledge are based on our internal thoughts, both conscious and subconscious. We are in control, whether we know it or not. We can be positive or negative, enthusiastic or dull, active or passive. These attitudes are maintained by the inner conversations we constantly have with ourselves, both consciously and subconsciously.

Mystics have long held that we do, in fact, control our reality; not just the little things in life, but everything. We create our entire world by the way we think. Thoughts are the causes and conditions are the effects. Our circumstances and conditions are not dictated by the world outside; it is the world inside us that creates the outside. They have maintained that regardless of our circumstances, each person has the innate, Universe or God given ability to create or alter reality to our choosing. This is done by using the power of positive thinking. They say that we are not here to suffer or to live a life of misery but rather, each conflict or problem that we confront is merely an opportunity to express our higher selves, to evolve and to alter the circumstances to our liking. They claim that there is no such thing as a God who seeks to punish and that so called errors are merely opportunities to grow.

These concepts on the power of the positive thinking, once restricted to the initiated few, came to light in the so called New Age. Voices from people such as Ram Dass, Deepak Chopra, Joel Goldsmith, John Price, L. Ron Hubbard, Dr. Hew Len and countless others expressed the notion that reality is of our own making and choosing, regardless of appearances to the contrary. The basic premise is that our past conditioning should be re-evaluated and that we should consciously determine the way in which we wish to live. We should use the power of positive thinking to create things (reality) which are good for us and for others.

“The power of discovery enables us to achieve excellence without having to be “perfect.'”

Thomas Crum, The Magic of Conflict

I arrived at the conference center ready to present my workshop. Almost immediately I noticed the room was too small and it was not set up as requested. There were no flipcharts and there were tables, though I had specifically asked for open space. I caught myself and smiled. I drew the word D I S C O V E R Y in large letters on a piece of newsprint and put it at the front of the room as a reminder.

Discovery
One of my favorite words, the concept of Discovery excites the brain, conjures up lost treasure, desert islands, new inventions, and old relics, something that was up to now unknown. Explorers discover new lands, scientists discover cures for diseases, and philosophers seek to discover the truth.

What about discovering each other? Learning what is new and important in each of our neighbors, friends, family, colleagues; what has been lost in the daily grind of work; truths, values, and hopes that are yet to be revealed? Discovery. A lovely word.

I first came to appreciate Discovery in The Magic of Conflict, where Thomas Crum describes it as a magical domain that “allows us to move beyond the fight, beyond success, to an open realm of possibility.” When we’re in Discovery mode, we are spontaneous, curious, fascinated, and appreciative of life in all its diversity.

Young children live in Discovery and sometimes we do. Katharine Hepburn lived a life of stardom but never lost her childlike fascination with people and life. Thomas Edison’s famous quotation after many attempts at inventing the light bulb shows a person in Discovery mode: “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work!”

Perfection
What’s the opposite of Discovery? Perfection a place with which we’re all too familiar. In Perfection, things have to be done right, we have to look good, get good grades, and win the games we play. Our standards are high, and failure is to be avoided at all costs. In daily conflicts, sometimes at the expense of our dearest relationships, we have to prevail. When we feel attacked we fight back, sometimes with our own hurtful words, or with behavior calculated to control, manipulate and diminish.

Shifting Gears
According to Tom Crum, when we shift into Discovery, we treat mistakes as outcomes and conflicts as opportunities to learn and understand more of the world and our partners. We stop being afraid to fail because there is no failure, only increased awareness and experience. We enter a world of wonder, spontaneity, and fun.

What Can I Learn Here?
We shift into Discovery, not with judgment, but with awareness by moving from “How can I be right about this?” to: “What can I learn here?”

When I’m angry because I just missed a three-foot putt, Discovery changes self-judgment into an opportunity for learning.

In the middle of a tough meeting with your department manager, try asking yourself – “What can I learn here?” What is it about this issue that’s important to each of us?

Upon arriving home, you find your life partner upset.Your first reaction is that it’s something you did. But wait! “What can I learn here?” jumps into your thoughts, and you ask: “Honey, you seem upset. Anything I can help with?” And you hear: “I’m just worried that I won’t finish this new project they gave me at work in time.”

Or your teenager is exhibiting new habits that have you worried. It’s worth checking out what the worldview is from her perspective before reaching a judgment.

We’ve all experienced moments of Discovery when we break through to a new understanding. It’s a powerful place that we like and want to revisit. The challenge is to choose to go there on purpose, especially in difficult situations. Katharine Hepburn has been quoted as saying, “Wouldn’t it be great if people could get to live suddenly as often as they die suddenly?” Shifting from perfection to Discovery is the way. Try it. Discover for yourself.

“Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”

No matter how this topic is tackled, the question remains a mystery.

“Do you need to be inspired to aspire or do you need an aspiration to get inspired?”

The same holds true for the second question. Others may argue that in order to have a strong desire to achieve something, you must be inspired. On the other hand, some argue that for you to be inspired, you may need to aspire first.

This is very much like the chicken and the egg question, right? There is no definite answer. Concerning inspiration vs. aspiration, the best course of action is to discover how to get people inspired, rather than focus on which is the right answer. For some people, inspiration helps them stay motivated and become an achiever.

So, how do people get inspired?

The feeling of frustration forces some to seek inspiration. Some need to experience unpleasant circumstances to trigger an inspiration. This path may not be at all pleasant. But who says that the road to greater achievement is always smooth sailing?

Take for instance the case of an average earner. He just earns enough to make a family survive. On his way to work, he could see other people barely having three square meals a day, hardly having anything to keep them warm on a cold night, practically living on a roofless shanty with paper boards as walls. He wanted to help but can’t.

He feels helpless for he can’t do anything to alleviate their condition. This feeling of helplessness urged him to promise himself that his family will never experience extreme poverty. This feeling of frustration inspired him to aspire for a better life for himself and for his family. His fear that his family might end up like one of the economically challenged people makes him determined to do something about improving his financial stability.

Someone who is successful can be an effective source of inspiration. People tend to look up to somebody who has reached the top. They wonder how it is to be like their idol, so they set themselves on a course headed in their idol’s direction. They study their idol’s past and how he was able to overcome all adversities.

People who wish to be inspired associate with successful people. Successful people have big ambitions. Being ambitious and dreaming big dreams can keep the inspiration alive. Being ambitious is actually good as long as you do not step on other people’s toes and provides inspiration to fellow men.

A strong desire can trigger people to get inspired and aspire for it. Again, stay within the confines of good fellowship, not hurting anybody along the way. Some people desire popularity. They aspire to be well known in society. They set their sights higher and aim to be recognized and respected.

Love is a strong motivator. There was once a man who pursued his love interest. He was able to get married to the girl of his dreams. His love for his wife motivated him to do his best in his job to provide for his growing family. Love provided the spark and nurtured his dreams to aspire for the best that life has to offer for him and his family.

Many sources of inspiration can help you in achieving success in life. Arguing about whichever comes first – whether inspiration or aspiration – is not one of them. The important thing is to find your true source of inspiration and to remain focused in the achievement of your goals.

Who does not know about The First of April? We try to make fools of others on this day to have a hearty laugh. It is the battle of wits on this day. All of us expect to get fooled, and try to save ourselves from making others laugh at our expense. Are all of us not fools even otherwise? This may sound shocking; so let me tell you why I think so.

How about politicians and leaders? They make fools of us all through the year. Isn’t correct? They invent fantastic excuses and give more implausible promises. Many of us get so emotional with the speeches that we get fooled. What of education? The formal education promises us so many things. Each student thinks that he/she will learn something great while getting a degree. Is it really so? Does that happen? In the name of formal education, most of us lose our original thinking and try to learn all those things that are written by those who never received formal education. Think about what I am saying. I may be wrong, but so are so many other writers. The language has to be good, captivating and emotive. And you will get fooled.

Love is the biggest joke of the life. A very good feeling, that results in so much pain for a big majority that in the end, they all feel that they were fooled. They were fooled into giving so much of themselves to someone thoroughly undeserving. The love that promised moons, makes people land in craters. This is no laughing matter, because the hurt is so intense that a heart broken person will never be able to explain it.

Life itself is a process that fools at every moment. We try to work, think, collect money, create masterpieces and preach others inspiring stories. We try to do so much in life and feel that we are making great use of the time. What is the ultimate result? Death. We all die. The ruins of many old monuments, the old manuscripts, the fossils and everything else we can find in a museum tell us about what our forefathers tried. Why and with what result? They got nothing but death in the end, and so shall we get death. Death will make a big fool of all of us in the end.