Are you familiar with the song that says, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to”?
It is definitely one of the classic oldies. However, I think this line in the song shines light on why some people never live to their full potential.
Have you ever thrown yourself a pity party? I’m not proud to say it, but I have.
Even worse, do you know anyone (maybe even you) who doesn’t just throw a pity party but lives in one every day?
Self-pity is one of the worst ways to totally destroy your potential in life.
The other day I was watching a program about a group of guys who were left paralyzed following an accident. Before the accident, they were normal, everyday people like you and me.
A few of them talked about how difficult it was following the accident. They said that at the beginning they didn’t think they would ever be able to live again. At some point, each of them had to make a decision whether or not to live life in despair and self pity or to rise above it and live life to its fullest.
They had all made the choice to rise above it. All of these guys were on a wheelchair rugby team from the UK. Not only that, they were the UK champions. Several of these guys have also competed in the Olympics.
One of the interviewers made a comment about how none of them had any self pity at all.
This made me begin to think about how damaging self pity is. These boys could still be sitting in the same place today. But instead, they decided to rise above it and create a new life. And they didn’t want to create just any old life, but a great life!
We all go through things that paralyze us in one way or another. You may even feel that you have the right to feel sorry for yourself. But just because you may have the right, doesn’t mean that it’s the right choice.
You have the choice to become either a success story or a forgotten story.
I realize that the pain or hurt of tragedy may not disappear overnight. Some things do take time to heal. BUT, your choice to be a victim or a success can change today.
Here are 3 ways to overcome self-pity.
1. Get around people who will show you some tough love.
This doesn’t mean that you get around people who don’t care about how you feel. But the last thing you need (even though you think you might) is to be around people who will sob away with you about how hard life is and how it couldn’t get any worse. Instead, get around people who will show you compassion but who will, when you start to cross that line into feeling sorry for yourself, make it very clear that it is unacceptable behaviour if you want to achieve greatness.
2. Force yourself to look to tomorrow.
Depending on what you have gone through, I know tomorrow may seem VERY far away. But you have to remember, there IS a tomorrow. You have purpose and greatness inside of you. But again, you choose whether you are going to live life to its fullest.
3. Look for inspiration.
Whatever you are going through, someone else has gone through it and they actually came out successfully on the other side. Find out who these people are. Find their books, interviews, articles, or audio series and learn from them. If they were able to succeed through it all, so can you!
Practice all three of these steps if you need to. But don’t let self-pity stop you from becoming someone great.
The next time you invite yourself to a pity party just decline.