“There is really nothing else we can do,” said the chief physician with a deep sigh.”We must now wait.”A horrible emptiness overcame me. We had not come this far to lose. First, losing all our material possessions years earlier,then losing my father*, and now the chance oflosing my wife? No! My heart screamed out in protest,as if by sheer force of will I could change the course of destiny. No! She will again recover as she has done so many times before. But a still, small voice whispered, “John, you may say good-bye now.”

I walked back into the room and looked at her sleeping so peacefully on the bed. They had administered some of the strongest pain killers to make her as comfortable as possible. Holding her hand,I whispered,”This is only a blink in eternity. Wherever you go, I will find you.” And then the tears came. Suddenly the room appeared to take on a brilliant glow, accompanied by the sound of music from afar.

I became quiet. Leaning over, I kissed her on the forehead, stepped back, took one last look, turned and walked out of the room. A few minutes later, a doctor walked up to me,shook her head sadly, and with deep sympathy in her voice, said,”She’s gone. I’m really very sorry.”On that summer day far from the little village where I was born,a light went out inside of me. The mounting darkness deepened into a hideous void and I could no longer see the sense or purpose of living. Life seemed such a fragile affair, here one moment and gone the next.

Yet, even as I wept, a nobler part of me was already whispering the hope that every soul needs on its journey home. A part of me knew that from the depths of despair would emerge an understanding far greater than any I had ever known. In the days and nights ahead, there would be times of sadness, moments of loneliness and periods of reflection. But ever afterwards, there would be a sense of purpose that would lead me on. Though no longer would I see her face or outer semblance, I knew that forever Mardai would be with me. I believe that we are all bound throughout eternity to that which we love; that neither heaven nor Earth can ever separate souls who choose to be together. One soul might go ahead for a while, but the other always catches up.

Thus ended one phase of my life as another began. All endings lead to new beginnings. The closing of one door foreshadows the opening of another, and yet, at times, I wonder why there are doors at all.

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