I had a very busy day. I’m sure you understand–food to buy and cook, laundry to clean, clients to see, money to earn. So when I received two emails each from Amnesty International and the International Rescue Committee imploring me to contact my senators and urge them to support sending UN peacekeeping forces to Darfur, rather than call I felt annoyed, put out, guilted.

And then I thought for a moment. Here are millions of people suffering unspeakable horrors and this is a cause I’ve supported and spoken publicly about. How can I be annoyed? What’s really going on here?

I realized that my annoyance was a cover up. What I really felt was helpless and hopeless. For all the spotlighting of this genocide, for all the petitions signed by hundreds of thousands, for all the rallies, the situation in Darfur has gotten worse, not better. What I was really thinking was, “What difference will two more phone calls make, especially to senators who probably already support increasing aid to the Darfur region?”

Then I realized what a luxury it was for me to feel helpless and hopeless while millions of men, women, and children are being tortured, raped, starved, and murdered. How dare I do nothing because I choose to believe that I can’t do enough?

I came to my senses and understood that I needed to do something, not just for the people in Darfur, but for myself. First, I got my priorities straight and called my senators. And then I emailed them for good measure. I spent part of the rest of the day forgiving myself for wallowing in hopelessness. At the end of the day, I wasn’t yet done forgiving myself. That may take awhile.

So how are you spending your busy day?